Nineteenth Gate

[forsometimenow]

Since things appear to be relatively back to normal and everyone presumably has their memories back... I should mention that yesterday marked one year since I came to Paradisa.

I'm still not 100% thrilled about the "being kept apart from my loved ones" part, and I've been the only person from my world here a while... but still. I belong here, and after a lifetime of searching for a place where I could belong and being taken from the first place I did, it means a lot to me personally to feel that way.

Comments

[forsometimenow]

I'm not sure it's a good thing or a bad thing to settle, if you want to know the truth.

[the_effect_she_has]

Maybe it's both. Maybe it has it's good and bad points.

[forsometimenow]

Yeah, that's true. I don't want to make it seem like I don't miss home- I do- but it hasn't been so bad here, either.

[the_effect_she_has]

I don't miss home at all - at least - not where I last left it. [She was quiet.] I miss the Seam though. I wish ...I wish I could have seen it one last time, before ... well. Makes no difference. I'm stuck here now.

[forsometimenow]

And we have to try and make the best of it. That's what I've always thought, anyway.

[the_effect_she_has]

So ... as you've been here longer than me, how do you advise I make the best of it?

[forsometimenow]

I've found something to occupy my time- and made friends despite myself. I have a routine I try to stick to every day, too, though that's obviously not always possible.

[the_effect_she_has]

[She nodded her head slowly, before playing with her hair.] Do you ... let go? Have fun?

[forsometimenow]

Sure- I find ways to, even though I've never been terribly social. It helps knowing people that will drag me out of my shell, of course.

[the_effect_she_has]

...Yeah, I guess so. Most people leave me be. [She thought about it, gnawing on her bottom lip.] Maybe people are scared of me.

[forsometimenow]

Well, you also seem to keep to yourself a lot- maybe people just assume you don't want company?

[the_effect_she_has]

[She shrugged, feeling uncomfortable again.] ... not used to people being upfront about help. Back home, we all helped from the back door, where the Peacekeepers couldn't catch us.

[forsometimenow]

So you're used to being hidden. It's a hard habit to break, I guess...

[the_effect_she_has]

It is ... so I'm not sure what I should do. To, ah, loosen up.

[forsometimenow]

You still have friends, though, right?

[the_effect_she_has]

Much to my surprise, yes.

[forsometimenow]

Then you're not as closed off as you thought.

[the_effect_she_has]

I ... suppose not.

[forsometimenow]

Just keep that in mind- you're never alone here, no matter how you might feel like it sometimes.

[the_effect_she_has]

Thank you, Jennifer. I ... didn't realize how much I needed to hear that, until now.

[forsometimenow]

You're welcome. Happy I could help.