040 || dictated;

[workaphilic]

[There are a lot of things he could take away from the past week. A lot of things he has taken away. But there's only one that's worth mentioning publicly on the journal with the amount of urgency he's displaying now.]

I want to learn how to do that. [A beat. Clarifying:] The magic. It doesn't have to be that exact type, I'm not picky. I don't care about anything advanced, it just makes things easier.

If you'll teach, I'll pay you. I don't care. Just as long as it's quick.

[A pause. His pen taps restlessly.]

If your instinct is to tell me it can't be done, go away. I'm not talking to you.

Comments

[indirectcause]

Just saying, this kind of stuff can be dangerous. [Because even if he DOES find the guy creepy as hell, Ben can't wish harm on the guy]

[workaphilic]

That's what makes it fun.

[indirectcause]

...Wherever you get your kicks, man.

[workaphilic]

Wish I could say I'd get an honest kick out of it, but I don't know how likely that is.

[indirectcause]

Is there anything you actually enjoy? [At least it's an honest question, he's not trying to be a dick about it. Sherlock what do yo even do for fun you weirdo]

[workaphilic]

Oh, plenty.

[A beat, for effect. And to decide to what extent to push Ben's buttons.

Then, cheerfully:]

I always enjoy a good pair of eyes, for example. Nightmare trying to get them, all those stupid people poking their fingers all around, but it's worth it to get them intact and undamaged.

[indirectcause]

[You're an asshole and he maybe hates you, he can't decide. He'll just exhale, he's not sure if Sherlock's being serious or not]

Eyes. Sure, right. Do you keep them in jars or something? Sort them by colour?

[workaphilic]

Only if color is relevant. Usually it isn't, but it's been known to happen.

Usually I keep them in jars and rotate them through the refrigerator.

[indirectcause]

...Fucking hell, man, I wasn't being serious.

Why do you even- No. No I decided I don't want to know.

[workaphilic]

[Sherlock actually laughs. Briefly, but he does.]

I get them from a morgue. All of them come from people who chose to donate their bodies to science.

[indirectcause]

...Great. I'm sure you have a lot of fun with your collection of human eyes.

[workaphilic]

Oh, I've hardly a collection. Not that lucky. I make do, though.

[indirectcause]

...When it comes to eyes, if you've got more than two, I think it counts as a 'collection'.

[workaphilic]

Only if I keep all of them.

[indirectcause]

What would you even do with them if you don't keep them? Give them away as gifts?


...Please, God, don't give them away as gifts.

[workaphilic]

What? No.

[From his perspective, he is not the weirdo in this conversation.]

I use them to get the information I need, and then I dispose of them.

[indirectcause]

[Sherlock you keep EYES IN A JAR]

And you get information out of eyeballs?

[workaphilic]

I get information from my experiments. Sometimes with eyeballs.

[indirectcause]

So you're a scientist. Like a doctor or something? [Because that would explain so much in way that doesn't make Sherlock look like a crazy guy]

[workaphilic]

[No such luck.]

I'm a consulting detective.

[indirectcause]

[What the everloving fuck]

And you need to do experiments for that?

[workaphilic]

[A pause. Then, conversationally:]

Had a case once, serial killer. Removed the eyes of each of his victims, trophies, very standard, bit dull. There had been three victims already by the time I was called in on the case.

Knowledge from my past experiments enabled me to deduce height, build, gouging implement of choice, career history, mental state, and handedness. Information I collected in seconds that the police would have taken days to collect, if ever.

He was caught the next afternoon.

[Another pause, for effect.]

So, yes. I do.

[indirectcause]

[He takes a moment to digest this information. Sometimes, it's easy to forget how broken the world already was, before everything happened. There were people like that, creepy ass serial killers, long before the walkers showed up. And other people needed to stop them, with intelligence and law, not with guns like it is now]

...Okay, that's actually impressive.

[workaphilic]

[He makes a noncommittal sound.]

To be fair, the killer was also a moron. I've had better. That one was just the most relevant.

[indirectcause]

I don't know man. Moron or not, that's pretty cool.