paradisa | 1st Arrow [Action]

[Oh man. Oh man this was not good. Not good at all. Last night had been one of those rare nights where Ellie actually got a good night of sleep, a mercifully dreamless sleep where she wasn't haunted by the Infected or the hunters or the faces of all the people she had known and lost.

So of fucking course something had to happen the next fucking day. The morning had started so nicely, and then suddenly everything kind of went weird and she woke up in... wherever the fuck this was. Not cool. What's even less cool is that she woke up alone. Outside of That Incident at the resort in winter, she can't remember the last time she woke up alone. Even in the present, Joel always hung around their tiny little cabin at least until she was awake before heading off. So... being alone in a strange place with no memory of how she got here? That sent a clear jolt of panic lancing through her.

Not even stopping to really absorb her surroundings, Ellie takes off running with no real direction.]

Joel? [She's trying not to sound panicked, but she's not doing a very good job of it.] Joel, where are you, you asshole?!

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It's true what people say, right? You never really know how great of a thing you have until it's gone.

[She can understand that. All the people she had unintentionally gotten attached to dying, or nearly dying, or just plain leaving her... most of the time she didn't even realize how attached she had gotten before they were gone.]

Never heard truer words spoken. It really makes you appreciate things and people after something like that.

[And you try your best not to get attached, because you KNOW how it's going to end, but you go and do it anyway]

Which means you can get attached to the weirdest assholes. Am I right?

[STORY OF ELLIE'S GODDAMN LIFE RIGHT THERE. Or at very least the story of the past year. Fuck.]

[He lets out a soft scoff of a laugh]

Tell me about it. You end up with the most dysfunctional group of fucking weirdos ever. [There is still a good deal of affection in his tone, though] But they still look out for you, and each other. Makes all the crazy worth it.

And then before you know it, they're pretty much family.

[Fuck it. Joel may have thought otherwise - early on, at least. Who knows what he thought now? - but... she considers him family now. Maybe not like her dad, but definitely that close.]

There's no doubt that people like that make it all worth it.

[He nods, understanding, his group sure became his family. Nothing like the real one, the one he still has no idea of the fate of. No, it was different, but still family]

Yeah, even if you're not related by blood - they're worth everything.

... What were your people like? Y'know, if you don't mind me asking. Out on the road, we didn't really meet any groups except for one other pair, so... [She shrugs.] Call me curious.

It's fine, I don't mind talking about them. Two of them are in the castle right now, even. Lee, the guy who leads us [no matter what Lee would say, he's they're leader and that's that] and Clementine, a little girl he found and takes care of.

Our group was ten people, at it's biggest. But- [he frowns softly] well, life's a pile of shit, and you lose people. [And so many of them were his fault. All on him]

Oh hey, I met Lee before. He seems like a pretty nice guy. [He managed to stay calm even when she was freaking out, and that helped her chill a bit, so she's gotta be thankful to that guy just a bit.

Any cheer she might've been feeling at that fades quickly though, and she frowns.]

... How many?

He's a great guy. Pretty sure none of us would have made it as far as we did without him.

[Far too many. And far too many he can easily blame himself for] Our group was down to five, and only three of us had made it from Macon to Savannah, the other two were still pretty new. That's how it stood when- [a pause, as he finds the best way to word this] when I was brought here.

Damn... I'm sorry.

[A group of ten dwindling off to just those numbers... Ellie's not sure she'd be able to handle that.]

When me and Joel - the guy I've been looking for - were in Pittsburgh, we met another group. This guy Henry and his little brother, Sam. We actually all got along aside from a few bumps... which is surprising, since Joel's not exactly the friendliest guy. [She tried to laugh, but the sound just comes out hollow, so she sighs.]

They... never made it out of the city. So I understand how that feels. Losing the people you've grown close to in such a short amount of time.

It happens, not a damn thing we can do about it.

[He listens to her story, frowning softly. That's what it was at the end of the day, wasn't it? Just appearing fleetingly into each others lives before one of you either left or got your life cut short]

Shit. Makes you sometimes wonder why you get close to people at all. Guess that's what keeps us human, makes us different from them.

[Walkers, Infected, it's the same game in different packaging. People who just aren't people any more]

When you put it that way...

[She never really thought about it like that before. Each death hurt, each abandonment just tore open a wound in her heart that never fully healed, and that's all she ever focused on. But those words...]

Almost everyone I know and cared about has died. My mom, even though I never got to know her. My best friend, Henry and Sam... and if they don't die, they leave. [Like Joel nearly did.] It hurts. It hurts like hell and I hate feeling like that.

But if feeling hurt when someone dies is what sets us apart from them? Fuck it. I can deal with a little more pain. Anything to avoid turning into a monster.

[And not just the Infected. There are plenty of humans that are monsters, who were really no better than the mindless people-turned-animals they fought, and that feeling is something that sets them apart from those people as well.

She actually manages to crack a small smile after all that. Congrats, Ben, it looks like you're actually managing to help someone cope with her survivor's guilt.]

[Holy crap he's finally done something good. He offers her a small smile in return]

See? As horrible and fucked up as the whole mess is, you can at least always say you're still living. That you're still trying.

[God knows he hit the point of giving up, but he never stopped CARING. Not for those around him, at any rate. Caring about himself? Well, that was another thing entirely]

Yeah... yeah, definitely.

[She still has a long way to go to overcome all her traumas, but this is certainly a good start.]

Y'know... I don't normally emotionally barf all over people I just met, and uh... don't even know the names of yet. Sorry about that. [She grins, then laughs, then raises a fist.] I'm Ellie.

[And some of those traumas will never be fixed. Ben sure knows some of his won#t be]

Hey, it's okay. Arriving in this place is a giant headfuck. You're allowed to do stuff out of the norm.

[Jesus, it feels like it's been forever since he brofisted anyone. Everyone in his group is either too old or too young to get it. He smiles, tapping his fist against hers] Name's Ben. Nice to meet you, even in a crazy as shit castle.

[Ellie laughs again.] It's always the craziest places that you meet the most interesting people, am I right?

Isn't that the goddamn truth, and it doesn't get much crazier than this place.

And yet, in some ways, this place doesn't seem as crazy as the shit we've had to go through with the dead rising and fucking creepy fungus monsters. Wonder what that says about our worlds?

I know right? How fucked up is it that we can find a magical kidnapping castle actually plausible?

1st Arrow [Action]

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