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[dream_reality]

[The quiet of the lobby this evening is punctuated by the DING of the elevator. The doors slide open, artificial fog billowing out into the room. Through the fog steps a man wearing a rather interesting outfit. But, more curiously, he's carrying a power drill....

He lifts one eyebrow as he peers around the room. This most certainly is NOT the main stage of the Doug Casino. He knew those spotlights were bright but they couldn't have been THAT bright, could they? There's only one explanation. Oooooh those bastards. He KNEW they'd try something to sabotage him! He wasn't sure how they did it just yet but there would be time enough to figure it out. Right now? His audience awaits.

He lifts his voice, raising the drill to shoulder level as if showing it off to an audience]

You cannot confuse me with your petty illusions. No. I will not be dissuaded. Believe me when I say that better men than you have tried [He smirks cockly, canting his head to one side.] and failed. Yes, my medical team has told me that should I go forward with this I may lose one of my senses. Leaving me with only five and [another half second pause] not special in any way. [He lifts his free hand up, crossing his fingers and shooting a look in the direction he hopes his audience is still seated] So, ah, cross your fingers for me.

[All the cheer leaves his face as his empty hand drops. Serious, now, he straightens his posture and lifts the drill bit to rest only a few millimeters in front of his hair line.

Won't someone stop this idiot from drilling a hole in his head?!]

((OOC: Welcome Steve Gray to the castle, ladies and gentlemen. If no one stops him he WILL attempt to drill a hole into his skull. Let me know in the subject line if you'd rather come across the newbie AFTER he's done with his trepanning. Also please do me a solid and go fill out his permissions post Thanks!))

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[putuporshutup]

[Meg is just about to cross through the lobby when she hears the ding of the elevator and out of habit, ducks into the shadows. She stifles laughter as she watches what looks like one of those lunatic douchebag stage magicians from Vegas rant at a nonexistent audience. Must be another new arrival. He seems harmless enough so she saunters across the room into plain view.]

Gee whiz, mister, whatcha gonna do with that drill?

[dream_reality]

[That... about sums him up, really. Except he usually performs on the street. His finger hovers over the trigger as his eyes slide over to the woman. What is she doing on his stage?]

As I've just finished explaining I'm going to drill a hole in my head.

[putuporshutup]

Must have missed the memo. Where exactly do you think you are?

[dream_reality]

[He shrugs, the drill bit slipping away from his temple as he smiles smoothly]

Where are any of us, really?

[putuporshutup]

[Meg knows that look. She smiles wickedly. This guy...]

Ooh. How deep of you.

[dream_reality]

[He brings his hands together as if in prayer... a motion somewhat lessened by the fact that he's still holding the drill]

Thank you.

[deductiongeek]

[And a soccerball comes flying towards that drill. Conan didn't have much patience for magicians at the best of times. A magician clearly about to injure himself? (Conan knew enough about sleight of hand to know that there were no mirrors set up here.)

He wasn't about to have any of that.]

[dream_reality]

[What? Why would you do that?! The drill snaps out of his hand and goes clattering across the floor.

Steve cries out in surprise and pain because that hurt, man. He looks at his hand in dismay for a moment before looking where the drill flew. Finally he turns towards the direction the ball came from]

Everyone's a critic.

[deductiongeek]

[And here comes a highly unamused Conan stomping onto the scene.]

Are you an idiot?

[dream_reality]

[He gives his hair an annoyed flick over his shoulder]

No, of course not. Idiots work with large cats.

[deductiongeek]

Says the guy who just had a drill to his head.

[dream_reality]

[He rolls his eyes, giving the child a look. Seriously? You're, what, 10 and you expect to understand this? Go find a playground]

Trephination has been widely known to increase blood flow to the brain and allow for a broader expansion of the mind. [He smirks, moving to retrieve his drill] I've calculated the angle precisely.

[deductiongeek]

[Seven (17), actually. And he understood this perfectly well.]

It has also been known to cause permanent injury or death from infections, strokes, direct damage to brain tissue, encephalitis, epilepsy, and brain abscesses.

[dream_reality]

[He smirks, scoffing and waving a hand dismissively]

Perhaps to those untrained in such things.

[deductiongeek]

Are you saying the you're trained in this?

[So much skepticism here.]

[dream_reality]

Yes, in fact, I am. [He smirks] Clearly you haven't seen my show - Brain Rapist.

[deductiongeek]

Where is your medical license from, then?

And no, I haven't.

[dream_reality]

I don't need a medical license to open people's minds.

[deductiongeek]

You do if it involves surgery.

[dream_reality]

[He lifts an eyebrow]

You think you're incredibly clever, don't you?

[deductiongeek]

Knowing that pointing a drill at yourself is a bad idea doesn't take a lot of cleverness.

[dream_reality]

It's only a bad idea for those who don't know what they're doing. [He sighs, looking around] I tire of this conversation.

[deductiongeek]

[Have the most skeptical expression. Conan doesn't believe this guy at all.]

[dream_reality]

[He looks around the room.]

Where is this supposed to be? I'm afraid I don't recognize the architecture.

[deductiongeek]

This is a castle named Paradisa.

[This guy asks that question now?]

[dream_reality]

[So sue him he had priorities... like a SOCCER BALL FLYING AT HIS HEAD.

He lifts an eyebrow at the boy]

A castle?

[deductiongeek]

That's what I said.

/dictated

[bro_codebreaker]

A show, huh?

Okay, this I gotta see. Where you at?

/right back atcha

[dream_reality]

[A strange voice? That's... new. Of course in his line of work it's not entirely unusual. The amount of times he's been insulted by garbage cans and trees by amateur ventriloquists is baffling. This is made even more difficult by the fact that he's still not entirely certain where he is...]

Where am I? Where are any of us? Whether I am on the stage of a Las Vegas casino, on its streets or in [He pauses, glancing around the room] a lobby of some kind the point is that I am.

[bro_codebreaker]

Lobby, right. [and he heads down, making a beeline for the elevator] So you're a Vegas headliner? Awesome! I haven't been there in a while, it'll be good to catch up on the news. Is Twisty Trixie still the most collectible card, or has the queen been dethroned?

[dream_reality]

I'm not a headliner yet, my friend. [He pauses, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips] But I will be. Once they see my greatest act yet they will see there is no one who deserves that stage more than I.

[He pauses]

I believe your information is a few years out of date.

[bro_codebreaker]

Yeah, like I said, I haven't been there for a while. I've been here for the past four years and change. Name's Barney, Barney Stinson, President of the Awesomeness Committee.

[ding. he steps out into the lobby and raises his eyebrows. no question who he's looking for, nope]

... What'cha doing with the power tool, bro?

[dream_reality]

Steve Gray. [He shoots him a smile] Perhaps you've seen my show? Mind Rapist?

[His gaze turns back to the drill]

Oh this? This is going to be my greatest achievement. I'm going to drill a hole in my own head.

[bro_codebreaker]

I think it's a little after my ti-hi-hiiiiiiigggyhhhhnnngh. Aaaaaggh.

[there's a liberal amount of twitching and flinching as he sights that drill]

I'm sorry but you're what, now?

[dream_reality]

[Really? He hasn't had to repeat himself so often since his short-lived stint at that nursing home. He speaks very slowly, enunciating for the clearly troubled man before him:]

I'm drilling. A hole. In my head.

[bro_codebreaker]

I'm pretty sure that's probably not gonna go very well for your head, honestly.

[dream_reality]

I've calculated the precise angle at which to drill in order to open my mind in such a way that others have only dreamed of.

[bro_codebreaker]

... [he looks so unsure] That is either gonna be really messy ...

... or really awesome.

[dream_reality]

[he chuckles]

I'm hoping for the latter.

[bro_codebreaker]

You might wanna get one of the medics from the clinic to hang around before you try it just in case, though. I mean - sure, if it kills you you're just back two weeks later like nothing happened? But ... yeah.

[dream_reality]

[he opens his mouth to argue that his medical team is standing by but something the man says sticks in his ear instead.]

I'm sorry, what was that about returning in 2 weeks?