paradisa | FOURTH SHOT

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FOURTH SHOT

Lee ––

I met with Joel. I don't know if you've met him, since he's hardly been here longer than I have, but he's my better half. We went out into the woods and waited it out so he could put me down, but I didn't turn. And when Joel wasn't watching me, I went down to the damn clinic, where the world's most terrified doctor hacked off the wound.

So now that my shoulder has roughly the same texture as raw hamburger, and it doesn't seem to be spreading, I can finally let you know that your advice was complete bullshit... but I appreciate it all the same.

We should get drinks. Proper ones, this time.

Tess

------

Hey, kid.

You've been here much longer than I have. Let me drill you for information and I'll make it worth your while. What do you say?

Tess

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I won't make five months.

[That came out a little harsher than he intended, and he ducks his head] Sorry I just- [He hates talking about this, especially out loud. It's a hard reality to face, and he's not entirely comfortable with people knowing just yet]

I just won't make anything at all.

[She pauses, and looks away from him.]

That's okay. I won't either.

None of us will, in the end. There's no coming back from this.

...Really?

[He'll glance her way, surprised. There aren't a lot of people in Paradisa in that sort of situation, knowing there is absolutely nothing waiting for them back home but a corpse]

No, I know. It'd be stupid to think it could ever get better.

Really. Don't give me shit about it.

[Hypocritical, given that's what she's been doing, but––]

I used to think there was a chance to fix things but it's gone. The best you can do is live as close to how you want as possible while getting by.

Okay, okay. Fine.

[He won't call her out on it. Non-confrontational as always]

Even when that life is in a magical castle, huh?

Trust me. I intend to take advantage of everything this place has to offer.

I guess if it's already giving it to us, it'd be pretty dumb of us not to take advantage.

Right. I don't care how this place fucks over my "freedom" –– whatever that means anymore –– if it means I'm comfortable, have a full stomach, limitless liquor and the one I care about, then fuck it, why not?

You're right. I mean, it's nice to be able to relax, even if it's hard getting out of that whole survival mode thing. This is a pretty sweet ride.

I don't intend to get out of survival mode. Not when it's been the majority of my life now.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to be prepared here. Just in case.

[That feels so distant to Tess, the idea of being prepared "just in case." There is no "just in case" in her time –– things can and will go down. Scrounging for extra supplies for "just in case" is as routine to her as waking up in the morning, keeping a gun loaded and it paying off is as predictable as the sun rising.

She can't imagine a life where things are so cavalier that "emergency" actually means something.

Her reply comes out dry.]

Well, you put together your emergency first aid kit and put a baseball bat by your bed. I'll be in my room, stockpiling everything I can get my hands on, like a fucking hoarder.

Oh, trust me, I've already got a pile of canned food in my room. [Once you've starved once, you don't ever want to do it again]

What else?

[She takes them right to the bar and orders herself a White Russian, and a Shirley Temple for Ben.]

[That looks such a girly drink, Tess, but he'll take it anyway. She seems the sort not to piss off in any way, shape or form]

Bottled water, antibiotics, first aid stuff. The essentials.

[Girly virgin drinks for boys who won't drink. Tess takes a swig of her drink.]

That's it for essentials?

What else would you count?

How about a fucking gun?

I'm not great with guns, that's more Lee's thing.

As in you've tried?

Yeah, I've tried. I can fire one, I'm just not...good at it. [The joys of being the deadweight of the group]

Jesus christ.

[She snorts.]

Make it worth my while and I'll have you picking targets off in no time.

[Yep. She's definitely The Lilly of Ellie's group]

That's pretty hopeful, but how am I supposed to even make it worth your while? I can't really do much.

You tell me. Surely you have something to offer.

[He scoffs bitterly, looking into his drink. That was one thing he had learned, one thing he was pretty sure of at this point]

I really don't. I'm nothing but dead weight.