1. Arrival

[genius_here]

What the...?

[Rodney frowned at the odd readings coming up on the tablet in his hand. Still walking like he knew where he was going, he continued to push at the screen and frown at the results.]

What is this?! What more could go wrong?! First the gate, then the crash now my tabl...

[Finally looking up he wasn’t following Sheppard into a room in Atlantis, but outside... On land... Nowhere near water.]

For the love of... [Annoyed, he tapped his ear bud.] Sheppard... Sheppard this is McKay, come in! [Silence.] Hello?! [He tapped his ear bud a few more times.]

This is so not happening right now!

Comments

[dog_eat_dog]

[Why is she greeting people? It's not like she knows a lot about this place, either. But here goes nothing: from the hardcover paper journal nearby, there'll be a woman's voice]

It's happening. I suggest you start getting used to it right now, or this will be a lot more difficult than it needs to be.

Dictated

[toobravehearted]

[Of course he's watching - or even listening - to the journal, in between one task or another as camp is being set up. Information is information after all, and he's become accustomed to the background noise of the journal.]

Hello. You're new by the sounds of things. Welcome to Paradisa. Take a look around; nearby or on your person you should find a journal if you haven't already.

[forsometimenow]

[Hi, Rodney. Have a small tea stain spreading across your journal. There's a long pause before Jennifer dictates.]

... Hey there, McKay. Where are you?

[genius_here]

[The voice startles him. Mostly because it doesn't come from the earbud and there is no one else immediately beside him, and she sounds close.]

Is that a threat? Where are you? What do you want?

Re: Dictated

[genius_here]

You think?!

[Rodney searches his memory for that reference in the Ancient database but comes up blank. As he thinks he looks around for the journal. Its a couple steps back, he retraces his steps and picks it up and examines it.]

How did I get here? Where are you?

[genius_here]

[A familiar voice. Finally!]

Keller! Thank God! I've not been able to reach Sheppard...

[Realizes her voice did not come through the earbud.]

Wait, where are you? Please tell me you're still on Atlantis!

[forsometimenow]

No. Your radio's not going to work here, I'm afraid. ...We're far from home. This castle is called Paradisa.

There should be a paper journal nearby. I'm talking to you through that. And before you ask, I have no idea how it works.

Dictated to end

[toobravehearted]

[His eyebrows jump up onto his forehead. Some take finding themselves here better than most. Other's, not so much.]

Where I am is a suitably long story. How you got here... that's a suitably long story.

In short: Paradisa, comprising of a supposedly magical and sentient castle, a town and a region all known as the same name in slightly different variants. It's a place that pulls people from a point in their time stream, and keeps them until it seems fit. You have my commiserations to find yourself here.

Keeping up with me so far? I'm the Doctor, by the way.

[genius_here]

[groans] I was afraid of that!

Yeah, I have it here... [Fans through the pages and gives it a shake, looking for something electronic.] Well, that's just not helpful!

Alright, where are you? We should meet up, see if we can find anyone else...

Re: Dictated to end

[genius_here]

Fantastic! [Clearly sarcasm with a roll of his eyes.]

Yes, Yes! It's not rocket science! Disturbing yes, but nothing really out of the norm.

Doctor of what exactly?

[dog_eat_dog]

If it was a threat, it'd be the shittiest threat ever uttered, buddy.

I'm speaking to you through a paper journal. Be glad I'm being this blunt, because the people who welcomed me just left me feeling confused.

[toobravehearted]

Nothing out of the norm? That's... new. [Oh, my poor fellow, you are going to be in for a shock later on.]

Yes, well, there's no need to take the impatient tone with me, I am but a messenger. As for the rocket science, here goes for the equivalent of pocket dimension, existing out of the normal phase and alignment of our home worlds and universes. As for me, I'm a doctor of many things and I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. McKay, wasn't it?

[forsometimenow]

In my room- 507, on the fifth floor. You can probably find it pretty easily. Oh, and remind me, are you allergic to dogs?

Dictated

[babyaliendaddy]

Dude, it is so happening right now.

[Yeah, Tucker is kind of laughing.]

[genius_here]

Oh... Well! Good to hear!

Blunt is good. I like blunt! Gets rid of all the nonsense. Right. So, uh, how bad is this?

[genius_here]

You already have a room? ... And a dog?

[Starts to head for what he hopes is the front of the castle.]

I just saw you, what?! Two hours ago at breakfast? Don't waste any time getting settled in, do ya?!

And no, [Sighs grumpily] I'm not allergic to dogs but I'm much more of a cat person!

[dog_eat_dog]

Personally, I'm thrilled to be here. But whether it's thrilling for you depends on how you feel about being kidnapped by a magic castle.

[genius_here]

Yes well, I suppose some of us lead more eventful lives than others.

Well, don't take it personally!

[Pauses only a moment to process.]

Don't suppose you also know the cause?

[Open comms, fantastic. One speaks and everyone hears. How many people can he annoy all at once.]

[Resigned sigh.] Yes, Doctor Rodney McKay. Yeah, it's a pleasure.

Re: Dictated

[genius_here]

Not helpful!

[genius_here]

There's no such thing as magic.

Thrilled eh?! That didn't even sound sarcastic! No life-sucking aliens or gods with glowing eyes then?! That's at least a good start.

[forsometimenow]

[She stifles a giggle, but some of it still probably comes through the journal.]

... It's a long story. But there's an anomaly- time freezes back home while we're here. I've been here for a year already.

[dog_eat_dog]

That's what I thought.

[She sounds vaguely amused.]

Fuck if I know about those things, though, it's only been a week.

[genius_here]

[Frowns at the journal as he enters the castle.] Are you laughing at me?!

What?! A year?! That would mean... Wait... When were you taken from?

[genius_here]

It's not just what I think, it's what I know. It's a fact. There's a reasonable explanation for everything.

Interesting. So what's so great about being here then, hmmm?

[dog_eat_dog]

I have lived off of rations and scavenged goods for almost twenty years. The newest clothes I own are twenty years old. Electricity and hot water are a goddamn luxury. It makes my year when I get my hands on a bottle of nice booze. Every day I'm thankful that I haven't died horribly or been executed.

Here, I don't even have to think about that shit. It's all just handed out on silver platters –– literally. And this morning, I ate a bagel with cream cheese and managed to get it all down without puking from how rich it was. That is what is great about being here.

But sure. Tell me about how magic isn't real.