paradisa | (no subject)

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[ Her memory of last week felt like someone else had lived in her body, said and did things she would never do but leaving all the blame for her to bear. She remembers it all like a bad dream in which she holds no control of herself. It feels jarring, and for a moment she contemplated whether it would be better to keep acting like her younger self. Most preferred her thus. Sweetness itself, a rose without a thorn.

It is perhaps a good thing that she doesn't recall meeting Spike then because now it feels as if he's among the very few who wouldn't frown at seeing her this way, older and sadder. Being sad isn't so terrible if it means being stronger. If it means not letting herself be so easily hurt.

But Lucrezia doesn't want to be sad today. She even keeps a lid on her smile when she knocks on his door with a bunch of Madonna lilies that haven't yet bloomed. ]

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[Ein really knows how to ham it up. If he's not careful, Spike might suggest he move into the mansion.]

Does that need to be a question?

[ Best pet. How can you not cook his steak just right, Spike? Lucrezia just grins, patting the space beside her so he would join her on the sofa. This way it almost feels as if she's the hostess instead. ]

No. I would not dare question your innocence.

[Even if he was just sleeping on that couch, he seems confused at the concept. But that only lasts a few seconds, and he moves to sit on the far end.]

I bet. You know how temperamental I can be.

[ Ever careful, which only amuses her more. ]

I can recount many with worse temper.

[He has a bad habit of reading into things.]

I might have some unfair competition.

[ She scoots further onto the sofa and leans back. Maybe then he would relax. ]

Who? Joshua is hardly ever angry. [ Maybe never. ]

[And he thought he was doing so well at looking relaxed. He even shrugs for good measure.]

You must have had someone in mind.

[ Her former husband, but that's a thought that she has striven so hard to push back since her return. The dividing line. She tries to seem nonchalant in turn, even turning his way to smirk with mischief. ]

My brother.

[He smirks at her reply, if only because she mistook him for her brother on that occasion that won't be named.]

I'll try to stay on your good side in case he shows up then.

[ It's her turn to shrug, pretending she doesn't care, though mostly she just raises her eyebrows in reply. It doesn't matter, she can't let herself believe that he might come back lest the disappointment drive her mad. ]

You missed my good side by a handful of days.

[He's quiet long enough to make it unclear if he knows what she's talking about.]

Just my luck.

[ They don't even have to be talking about the same thing to carry on a conversation. That's the magic. ]

If you knew, would you have sought me out?

Would you have wanted me to?

If it were my best side then I should.

[He has a feeling he missed more than one thing here.]

And now I have to settle for flowers.

Unfortunately.

[ Though this time she seems resigned, almost sad, sitting up straighter so she can consider him for the first time since she's arrived. ]

You would fear me less then.

[She's still convinced of that, huh?]

You didn't need to come to apologize.

I do not apologize.

[ Lucrezia tries to sound nonchalant, as if saying the sky is blue today, isn't it? But she keeps her eyes fixed on him as if his face would yield more answers. She should learn her lesson. ]

I do say thank you, however.

[His expression remains carefully passive.]

I'm pretty sure you already paid off your debt.

I wonder. You paid us a visit while I was gone.

... [Oh. That.]

I was in the neighborhood.

[ She smiles as placidly as if she were saying the weather is nice. ]

Liar.

[He moves to reach in him pocket, the way people do when they need an excuse to turn away.]

I thought I might have left something there.

Like a coffin or a soul?

[He's glad that he made that decision when she asks her next question. Digging out a lighter successfully hides his expression until he's recovered.]

It wasn't as comfortable as it looked.