[Everything from what he told Tess about the Fireflies, to his behavior around the kid compared to what it was before, to Tess straight up asking him if all he was interested in was playing dad now... it's gotta be obvious. There's a lot he could say about how Ellie isn't just a reminder; about how she watched his back and they stuck together, about how the things they went through together make her a completely different person to him, but he won't.
He won't right now because the conversation sticks him somewhere else and he goes quiet for a moment remembering. Flashbacks to taking Sarah to the pediatrician and all her soccer games, walking her to the bus stop. Those were simpler times, but she'd always had a fire in her that would've allowed her to struggle through if only things had gone a little differently.
Joel knows he's not the one who was supposed to live.]
She had both. You would'a liked her. [Murmured, but it's as gentle as he's ever been about the subject with Tess. Joel rubs his hand over his face again-- tries to shake off the urge to retreat, but he settles for lifting himself off the couch and over to their alcohol supply.] Shit, Tess, this entire conversation needs a drink. You want one?
no subject
He won't right now because the conversation sticks him somewhere else and he goes quiet for a moment remembering. Flashbacks to taking Sarah to the pediatrician and all her soccer games, walking her to the bus stop. Those were simpler times, but she'd always had a fire in her that would've allowed her to struggle through if only things had gone a little differently.
Joel knows he's not the one who was supposed to live.]
She had both. You would'a liked her. [Murmured, but it's as gentle as he's ever been about the subject with Tess. Joel rubs his hand over his face again-- tries to shake off the urge to retreat, but he settles for lifting himself off the couch and over to their alcohol supply.] Shit, Tess, this entire conversation needs a drink. You want one?