seventy-third labyrinth

[lord_wizard]

[Felix was not much of an optimist - more from experience than nature. And certainly recent experiences lent itself to that attitude. But on this particular morning he woke with a feeling of lightness that was unfamiliar but welcome enough to feel like relief. Not that he forgot what he'd done, but stronger at that moment was hope.

He and Gideon had spent a full day at Mineas Well, where he and the intrigued older wizard spent mostly locked in heated discussion and investigation. It had been much like old times, even if the setting felt more like a storybook. A parting embrace, when they'd returned to the castle, had gone a bit further than either of them had intended, though not as far as Felix may have liked. Still, it had been real.

Waking up with that on his mind - clinging vaguely to the both old and familiar memory of the scent and feel of his lover - he embraced the feeling of possibility.

It was with this feeling that he dressed and readied himself for the day, feeling more like the man he used to be than he had in quite some time. He had a mind to invite Gideon up to headquarters to work out a few ideas he had concerning the castle, and after breakfast he went upstairs to the other man's room, a smile on his lips.

A smile which fell the moment he saw the door.

Blind panic, cracking through that previous feeling of hope, carried him through the door. It did not take him long to find the books. To read the note with shaking hands. To feel his hope and his heart squashed flat and lifeless in an instant. But this wasn't like losing someone to death. He'd cried those tears once already, even though that was exactly the fate that awaited Gideon back home. Rather, this felt like a violation. A mockery. He'd dared to try. He'd dared to love. He'd dare to say those words aloud and had his one fear confirmed in short order. Because the castle had willed it. The castle had given him so much: a friend, a brother, a lover - and ripped them away again without ceremony.

The howling grief in his chest was muffled quickly by the swath of black anger that washed over him. The anger was as familiar as the memories he'd entertained earlier that morning. He wrapped it about himself like a mantle - the old spiny armor he once wore in and old life that kept everyone at bay. Every change he'd tried to make had been thrown in his face, proving that he was foolish to trust or give of himself in any way. He wanted, badly, to torch the room and everything it in, but the castle did not care for such petty vandalism. He was sure of that much.

He stood for a long while in that room, crushing the note in his fist while he clung tightly to the books, and then, with a breath and straightening of his posture, he opened his own journal.]

[When he speaks it's almost like his last message, with a similar tone of coldness, though there's a certain tightness to it.]

Gideon Thraxios is gone.

I've already recovered what effects he's left behind, so no need to go looking for them.

Or me, for that matter.

Comments

[radiantwingedone]

..... A lot of that lately.

[ That tone sounds really stiff for Felix, so Duke just leaves it at that. ]

[lord_wizard]

Just noticed that, did you?

[radiantwingedone]

Due to people mentioning it, yes.

[lord_wizard]

Well, you would not have taken notice otherwise, would you?

[radiantwingedone]

Accurate.

[ There was one time he found out because a Pokemon found him, but other than that, he generally assumes people want to avoid him. ]

[lord_wizard]

[Felix assumes it's rather the other way around, and it's a dig at that more than anything.]

I'm glad you are so invested in the rest of us.

[radiantwingedone]

[ Oops. Duke does think on that. Does he avoid people because he doesn't care? Actually its a mix. ]

Assume the people who I have talked to simply don't want to bother with me for a while.

[ He's invested in the ones he knows, barely invested in the ones they know, and not invested in the others. ]

[strangewonders]

[He can't help but wonder, hearing Felix's tone, if the castle hasn't decided to pick on him because of how he reacts to it. But he'll keep that thought to himself.]

The castle strikes again, does it? That's a shame.

[And he means that, at least. He liked Gideon.]

[lord_wizard]

Your power for understatement is awe-inspiring.

[strangewonders]

A good deal about me is, yes.

[lord_wizard]

Why are you bragging to me? Given up on the female populace already?

[strangewonders]

Of course not. I have them right where I want them.

And it's not bragging if it's true.

[lord_wizard]

If where you want them is anywhere but near you.

[ voice ]

[wishmadeinfire]

<sub>[ Hearing this news, a part of Ashura wickedly enjoys this. Felix had hurt him, hurt him deeply, and now his betrayal was being rewarded with this. Had he been a crueler person, he might even had gloated. But Ashura was not cruel, and the wicked thoughts were but a smaller part of him. Truthfully, he was just... sad. He had been sad, it seemed, since Felix had announced his leaving Ashura's role as his lover. He had no room for hatred, for thoughts of revenge or karma. He was simply sad.

And, despite himself, worried. His own reaction to Felix's dismissal of him had been dangerous, but he knew Felix's own views of himself and remembered some of the things he had admitted to in the past. It did cross his mind Felix might jump to far more drastic responses to this departure than he himself had.

And that worried him, because, deep down beneath the numbness, he still loved Felix. ]</sub>

Do not do anything rash.

_{[ He kept his voice firm, cool, and level, wanting to give away nothing. ]}

dictated;

[lord_wizard]

Is that an order, my lord? [What stings the most is that everything he'd done - after everything he'd put his former lover through - it had come to nothing. While he had accepted the chance that he might end up alone, it was as a result of his own actions and not the complete removal of any choice by the castle.]

Re: dictated;

[wishmadeinfire]

It is a reminder to think on what your actions cause others to feel.

_{[ Instantly, he wished he had taken it back, even though the wicked side of his mind whispered its praises for firing back at the other, for reminding him of what he had done, how low he had brought them. He brushed it aside, not bothering to make apology though. Words once spoken could not be taken back. ]}

dictated;

[lord_wizard]

Perhaps the castle should have thought of that first.

Actually, I'm rather sure it did.

Re: dictated;

[wishmadeinfire]

_{[ He wanted to snap at Felix for acting the victim, for being a jackass, but it would only make things worse. He knew that much. ]}

Even so, what I said stands. Don't be foolish, Felix. Your emotions can get away from you.

[lord_wizard]

I suppose that's something else we have in common...darling

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley's been dealing with his own loss, of Allen vanishing off into the either, the person he'd known the longest in this stupid place. But Felix's words pull him out of his alcohol binge to focus on the journal]

No looking for you, hmm? Sounds almost like a challenge.

[lord_wizard]

I wouldn't want to overburden you, darling.

[onlyanapple]

You say that as if I have better things to do here anyway.

[lord_wizard]

I thought that sort of inaction suited you fine.

[onlyanapple]

Depends on the person, really. [Sorry Felix you're special enough for him to get off his ass and care about what happens to you]

[lord_wizard]

[That's just it, though. He wants people to stop caring so he can try to do the same]

How lucky that I'm one of your exceptions. But I don't need anything from you. Unless you wish to pick up where he left off, that is.