paradisa | 2.3 ✞ written & dictated.

Entry tags:

abel nightroad

2.3 ✞ written & dictated.

[filter to: GALADRIEL]

[there are a few hesitation marks on the page, here; he had been mulling over what to say to her in return for the words she'd written for him -- ones he'd read over and over again along with Lilith's letter. in the end, he fails to produce half of the eloquence either of them possessed.

so, he goes with what's from the heart, instead.]

...Thank you.

[filter to: NANAKO]

Hey... Nanako -- are you maybe up for some ice cream? Maybe in town? I kind of feel like taking a walk, if you want to go with me! [not like he needs a reason to spoil her, but... you know, he has a feeling she could use it, too.]

[filter to: JOSHUA CHRISTOPHER]

[this takes a while to write as well, if for different reasons than the others before it. but eventually, the words find their way onto paper.]

Are you up for that game of chess?

[filter to: THE FREELANCERS; dictated.]

[well, it's a little late -- but Caterina had sent him on a mission, and he still had a job to do. so! he sounds cheerful and amicable, maybe a little sheepish as he starts talking:]

Ah-- I'm sorry for how random this must seem, but... my name is Father Abel Nightroad, and I'm a friend of York and Delta's? I'm sending you this message in hopes that we might be able to talk about Agent Maine's situation, as well as the issue of the armor. I know things are... rocky, at best right now -- and so I appreciate your taking the time to talk with me in advance.

[filter to: CATERINA, visible to TRES]

Caterina... are you in the mood for a walk? Tres, too.

There's something I want to show you in town.

[ooc: apologies for any slow tags in advanceeee]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[he's aware of Ukitake's moral fiber; he knows of few men with any stronger. it earns a thoughtful hum, before the last bit catches him by meager surprise.]

Straying?

...or being tempted to.

[He hesitates, looking down into his tea cup.]

It is difficult to think about, but I suppose that's the purpose of this kind of thing.

[Sips tea.]

At times, I have been forced to go against my better judgment, for the supposed greater good. These were times when there were no clear answers, as to what was right or wrong, really... still I wonder if things could have been done differently. Some wars, come to mind.

Other times... perhaps the opposite. Listening too much to my pride, and letting others d-- [clears his throat.] ...take the consequences for it.

That said... I don't believe in harboring these regrets, either.

[he looks into the surface of his tea cup again as Ukitake speaks. this is personal, isn't it? glossing over the surface of personal depths, things they might have spoken on, once. he doesn't know.

Abel pauses.]

...Whether we believe in God, or any god... or anything at all... I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. Regrets or not... the past is important. I hardly need to tell someone like you that they teach us how to move forward. [to become better people, ideally... right? or perhaps merely how not to fail as badly, the next time around.]

...Indeed.

[He says his next few words softly.]

Sometimes, that moving forward part can be difficult, though.

[How long had he let the vice-captain seat remain empty? Going on fifty years or so...?]

...

[he watches him from peripheral vision. why was he...]

It's... easier. When we're not alone.

[Ukitake nods, and absentmindedly wipes away a bead of sweat from his forehead. He's quiet for another moment, then turns to the other man and gives a bittersweet smile.]

...I think that's what I've been trying to tell you, Father.

[chuckling a bit before shaking his head.]

It's a little hard to be 'alone' in a castle full of people in close quarters day in and out, you know. I think I have more friends here than at home! Not to mention that Caterina is here with me... as well as Father Tres and Sister Esther. I'm not the kind of man you need to worry about in those regards, hm?

[has he given him a reason? after all, being quiet was a staple of many residents in the castle -- his absence from the journals didn't have to be a sign anything was amiss. he had been careful about what he'd said and done since, too.]

That's might be true. In that regard, nobody here is alone, I guess.

[But making and keeping friends was a lot of how Ukitake functioned.]

Despite the fact that I could go on about how having people around you physically doesn't always mean they're with you in heart, I'll skip right to the point.

I believe that one can never have enough true friends to support you. I feel I owe it to myself - this former self, if you will - to maintain a friendship that was obviously an important one to both of us. I need to know what I am missing.

[Coughs once into his sleeve, then sips tea.]

...and you're certainly making that a bit difficult.

[He could tell, that while Abel was outwardly friendly, even when they did speak to each other, there was some sort of internal distance.]

[needs to... know what he's missing?

the smile dissolves at his lips a bit, his side-long gaze on the other man become a tad more visibly guarded and... perhaps, the something accompanying it is regret.]

...You think my heart isn't in it?

[that admittedly was... hard to hear. this whole thing was a hard situation, and one he hasn't had to deal with in this particular way before. people he had been exceptionally close with had gone home and returned without their memories before; Claire hadn't ever been as close to him the second time around. but Ukitake... from the start, it had been different. the sort of 'close' they had been was much different.]

[The way this man seemed to be in pain all the time when they spoke, hurt him. It was something he was trying to resolve. A long pause.]

I don't know. Is it?

[he rubs at his face, a bit.

maybe, despite his efforts... he was doing it all wrong. was he...? he didn't want to let him down... he did not want to be a disappointment to him, of all people.]

...You were my best friend. You were... family.

I don't know that we could ever reach that place again. And even if we did, it's... never going to be the same as it was, will it...? The events that brought us together in that way can't be duplicated. Even if I still trust you, even if... I still see you as that person, to you...

[he pauses, before... shaking his head.]

...I'm just the 'Father.'

You don't know anything for certain if you don't try. That's all I'm asking of you.

[A sigh.]

...My world teaches us that a person can be born anew upon their reincarnation. There's a part of them there, inside, that stays the same, even if the outward changes.

For you, I have changed. I'm not the person you remember and for that I am sorry.

[A pause.]

I also hold a more personal belief that there are some souls that travel together throughout this cycle of life and death.

[The next words are harder to say, and his voice wavers slightly - it would mean accepting this place more fully, and that was certainly not what he had set out to do.]

...perhaps I have come back for a reason.

...Do you see?

[he leans a little forward, resting an elbow on his knee and drawing himself into Ukitake's line of sight a bit with a small smile.]

It isn't that you've changed. You're still the same person, aren't you? Ukitake Juushiro; Shinigami and Captain of the Thirteenth division. You have a soft spot for children and a sweet tooth, and brew the best tea a man is likely to taste in... five hundred lifetimes, even! You have a big heart and you let it take in everyone around you... even if your pride dictates that your duty is one you have to return to despite whatever bonds you make here or anywhere else, for that matter.

I know you are here for a reason. But... this time around, maybe... I can say you forgot me-- and... everyone else for a reason, too. Maybe this time around... I am not supposed to be the person who you call your 'friend.'

[...'son.']

And if that's true, then... I'll still be your friend. It isn't as though I could let something like that really go, right...?

But I will never expect it to be like it was. Not for you, or for me. I wouldn't do that to you.

...Am I really all that?

[He chuckles and it turns into a cough. His breathing wasn't the best today, it seemed.]

Sorry.

[He takes a sip of tea and leans back against the pew.]

If we can't be the friends we were, we could at least try to find out what friends we can be. That's all I'm asking for.

[He reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a small bag of candies. He holds it out.]

Can I bribe you to at least have tea with me once in a while? And to hold a conversation where we can laugh, for once?

[he pauses a moment, looking at the extended offer. there's a tiny pause, before he gently takes it from him and pulls to his feet.]

Bribing a priest? Maybe I spoke too soon about the 'honorable' bits. [it's a tease.]

Stay here a second, would you? I have something for you.

[He starts to stand when the other does, assuming that their conversation was coming to a close, then sits back down when Abel tells him to stay.]

You have yet to tell me if the bribe has worked, you know.

I'll tell you after I've eaten these... I have high standards, you know? Maybe I'm not so easily bought! Gluttonous, and all that.

[heh.

he gestures for a moment before slipping into the back -- into the kitchenette. welp there's some clinking around... but the wait is rewarded with a somewhat redundant sight at first glance; more tea? this time it's a single cup on a saucer. the smell should be familiarly strong, however, as he hands it down.]

I think this might help.

[At first he's confused - weren't they just having tea? Once the smell reaches him, however, he knows what it is... It makes him stiffen up slightly, embarrassed. At the same time, he's relieved to know it was available here.]

...How did...?

[He lets himself trail off - it was obvious how he got his hands on some. He puts his empty tea cup down on the tray and takes up this one. He takes a sip, after many years he didn't need to make a face at the taste anymore.]

I'm glad to know it's available here. Did you find it in the clinic?

No... I started keeping it on hand after a while. It seemed like a useful thing to have, all things considered. There's some in the pantry back there, and I'm sure you can wish up more if you need it.

[he takes his seat, and... well, he isn't particularly shy about his sweet tooth, not to mention for the sake of the other's pride he won't call too much attention to the difference in the newly brewed tea or its purpose. so, distractions are alright in the form of shamelessly opening up that bag to peek inside.]

You can help yourself to anything you find in the church, Ukitake. I had it built for the castle, and you're just as much a part of it as I am, after all.

[Inside the small bag is some valentines leftovers, and range from hard candies to chocolates, each individually wrapped.]

Thank you, that's a kind offer.

[He doesn't mention his dislike of wishing for things, though.]

...it seems like a nice place to go if you're seeking some quiet. I'm sure I'll be coming back by myself sometimes. The next best thing would be a fish pond, really...

[He turns to Abel. The thought of a pond gives him a longing expression.]

I haven't been everywhere outside yet, because of the weather. Do we have a fish pond here?

[going on three years and wishing just became a necessity for some things... though, to each their own, right?

he nudges his glasses up his nose, eyeing the contents of the bag with interest before popping one of these little goodies into his mouth. ahahaaaa he is like a little kid on Christmas okay SWEET THINGS.]

--Ah! Fish pond? Well, there's some fish in the duck pond. ...And ducks, obviously, h-haha...

[He hides an amused smile behind the tea cup. The man really did like sweets, didn't he?]

Duck pond? Well... I guess I'll have to look for it. [Even though it wasn't exactly the same.]

...so how is that bribe working out?

Maybe there are fish in the ponds in the garden? I don't think I've looked that carefully. The flowers are a little distracting. [sou pretty etc etc

he is unwrapping another, putting on a faux thinking face.]

Well... it's a start, at the least. I mean, I'm not so easily bartered with. Bribing usually takes, say... I don't know; cake?

Cake, huh? Hmm... I'll see what I can do. Maybe it's something Senri and I can work on together.

[He looks to be breathing easier now, thanks to the tea. He swirls the tea cup around, trying to get all the icky herbal bits off the bottom so he could drink it down, and takes a final swig.]

[h-haha... okay, so maybe he misses more than Ukitake's tea... HE'S REALLY SUBTLE IN HIS EFFORTS TO GET SWEET THINGS OUT OF YOU ISN'T HE...]

...Ah, see? Now I'm aiding the bonding of you and your friend~!

2.3 ✞ written & dictated.

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he miss hiz feesh. ;_;

asdfg fishies

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