paradisa | 058 Spells Cast

[Room filter/Private]

[Phoebe's nightmare woke her a few hours before sunrise. She sat up with a gasp, her heart pounding against her palm as it pressed against her chest. The dark visions of being alone haunted her even as the whispers of the castle faded. She knew without looking that she was alone in the bed.

She had known for the past two years that this could happen at any time. That one of them would wake up one morning to find the other gone. She had tried to prepare herself for this eventuality... but nothing could have prepared her for this. It was worse than Cole dying or the divorce. It was worse, even, than the death of her sister. When Prue died she knew she was going to be safe with Grams and mom and the rest of their ancestors. It hurt but she knew that she would be with her again someday. Grams had even told her that they were taking care of her. Peter wasn't dead. He wasn't dead and he wasn't off somewhere else in the world he was just... gone. Hopefully he was back in New York with Hasaam in their ambulance. She closed her eyes and prayed to whatever God or Goddess who might be listening that he was. If Paradisa had decided to send him to one of the other cities in this world and made him think he was someone else... No. She couldn't even let herself think about that. She had to think positively. He wouldn't want it any other way.

She turned, her eyes falling on the single envelope propped up against the vase of flowers on her bed side table. Her hands shook as she picked it up and tore it open, slipping the paper from within.]

Phoebe, I'll be in New York at the Sullivan Brothers Carnival. If you can't find me, I'll board a plane and find you in San Francisco. We'll be together again. I promise.

Forever yours,

Peter

[She took a shuddering breath, tears falling freely as she read the end of the letter again and again. "We'll be together again." It was a promise they had made so often. The promise that they would do everything in their powers to remember each other once they were sent back home. The promise that they were soul mates and that nothing in the universe could keep them apart. The promise that they would find each other again somehow. She closed her eyes. Belief is a powerful thing. So is love. Their love was strong enough to make it through anything - even this. They would be together again. She felt it in her soul and that gave her strength. He may be back in his world but his words and the energy she still felt in the room give her enough strength to push forward... but only just. The ache in her heart and the hole he'd left behind were almost too much to bear.

She slipped out of bed, crossing to the armchair by the window as her mind reeled. What was she going to do? She didn't think she could handle the barrage of sympathy from her friends. The constant reminder of what she had and the memories many rooms in this place now held... She had to get out. She nearly collapsed into the armchair, pulling her feet up onto the seat and hugging her knees to her chest as she stared blindly out the window at the horizon. Every inch of this room was coated in memories. Breakfast with Peter, Adam and their children. Peter's birthday when she'd made the candlelight fly. Their first wedding anniversary. She couldn't stop the sob that escaped her lips as the tears started anew. She could at least be thankful the castle gave them that much before ripping him away from her. But the small favor was overshadowed by the fact that their anniversary had come while the Gentlemen were still scouring the hallways. They'd only been able to celebrate it two days ago. The pain was too much. She couldn't stay in that room, or the castle for that matter. Not while everything was so raw. There was the apartment over Caritas but even there... all those romantic evenings they'd spent away from the castle... and all the weeks and weekends when Peter himself needed to break away because another friend had gone.

As she sat there lost in thought the sun rose over the Dead Zone. The trees practically glowed as the sun hit them for the first time that morning. Everything looked so alive while she felt so dead inside. She pressed her face into her knees, squashing that thought. She wasn't dead inside. That was the last thing he'd want. Her heart may be broken but she was still very much alive and she had every intention of reminding herself of that. She just needed to get away and center herself again. She had to give her heart a chance to start to heal before the castle decided to push her again to see how much it would take before she broke. It came close this time but she wouldn't let it. She didn't break when her sisters left and she wouldn't break now.

She pushed herself upright, taking a deep breath and moving to her desk. She carefully tucked the letter back into its envelope, slipping it under the cover of the Book of Shadows for safekeeping. Pulling the journal out of the top drawer she already started composing what she would write before she sat down and picked up her pen.]

[/Private]

[Phoebe's handwriting is a little shakier than usual as she writes:]

My husband, Peter Petrelli, has gone home. [two tears hit the page, distorting the edges of the word "home" as she continues.]

I'm going out to Fairfield for a while. I can be reached by journal if anyone needs me. [She hesitates for a moment]

Please don't need me.

[York]

I'm borrowing one of your steam powered sleds. I'll bring it back in one piece. I'm leaving Code Blair and any Evac plans in your and Carolina's hands while I'm gone. I'm sure the Doctor would help if you asked, too.

[/York]

((OOC: With that Phoebe is on her way out to the Dead Zone for the next month. She might respond over the journal))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Take all the time you need. They're everyone's sleds, not just mine.

Feel free to stay at York Farm if you want. It's pretty well stocked, but if you take a few fresh veggies they'd probably be welcomed. And if you run into any trouble, just keep in touch and we can be there in a few hours.

[...reasons he never considered marrying Carolina, even when they'd gotten along well: one of the members always leaves before the other.]

Thank you, York. I think I'll take you up on that offer.

You stay safe, as well.

[That may be true but she wouldn't trade the past year for anything in the world]

[Well, he'd ended up losing her anyway right around the time he'd been considering it, so he might be a little jaded.]

Always do. And say hi to everyone for me, okay? Don't just lock yourself inside.

I'll... [She stops. How can she promise that when right now that's precisely what she wants to do. She fights the fresh wave of tears that spring to her eyes]

I'll try...

That's all anyone can ask.

[Yeah, he knows that's exactly what he would do himself, but...he'd had friends come over and help him out when he'd been in a similar situation.]

[Simon stares at this entry for a while, realization feeling, not like a physical blow, but a sinking weight in the bottom of his stomach.

Of course. Disappearing tended to happen to people he cared about here, after all. Sometimes he wondered if he was destined to forever be without anyone remotely resembling a family member.]

You know where to find me when you are ready.

Edited 2013-10-01 23:34 (UTC)

[Oh Simon. She knows that you were Peter's friend and that makes her eternally grateful. She manages to smile ever so slightly as she replies]

Thank you, Simon. Take care of yourself while I'm gone.

Of course- and you do the same.

Been too much of that going on lately.

[But still, his heart aches for her. Phoebe is good people, she doesn't deserve this]

Be careful out there, okay?

Far too much. [She sighs heavily. almost too much for her to cope with, really. She both wants to pull her friends closer and needs to push them away for a time.]

I will. You take care of yourself and Ted for me.

Course I will, we'll be right here when you get back.

[Phoebe is practically her sister, so by extension Peter was her brother-in-law]

If you need me, I'm here for you.

[Oh Hermione. If there's anyone she might need it's you. You're the closest thing she has to any of her sisters in this place. It's a struggle because part of her wants to push everyone away and the other part of her wishes someone would just come and hold her and tell her everything will be okay.]

Thank you, Hermione. I just... I don't... [She pauses, trying to compose herself] I don't really know what I need.

[she doesn't know what to say. What can even be said? She's seen so many people come and go, but none like this]

That's all right. Take the time you need. I'll be here for you.

[Phoebe had been so kind to Meg before, but she was still surprised at how much empathy she felt for the other woman. She still understood pain and loss of course, but the way this place had worn off on her, it was hitting her harder than she was used to. She's still not the best at compassion, but she knows she's got to reach out to her somehow.]

Phoebe... I'm so sorry. I'm here - anything you need.

[Well there was a voice she hadn't been expecting to hear. Although the fact that she spoke up at all solidifies for Phoebe the thought of Meg as a friend. Right now, though, all she can think about is the ache in her heart.]

Thank you, Meg. Right now... Right now I just need time... and space.

[Meg's friends are few and far between, even here, so she wasn't about to forget that Phoebe had been there for her.]

Yeah, I get that. But you know. Whenever you're ready - to talk, or drink, or scream, or whatever. Don't be a stranger, kay?

Edited 2013-10-02 02:13 (UTC)

[Oh, Phoebe... The castle could be too cruel sometimes.]

I won't. [Need her, that is. Dairine doesn't say it in a mean or callous way, as if Phoebe means nothing to her. That would be completely untrue. Rather it's a promise, a reassurance. Dair will be fine on her own. She can stand strong when others need to support themselves.]

Don't you worry about me. You take care. Just promise you'll let me know if you need anything, okay?

[Chell doesn't mind whether Phoebe responds or not... But she wants to offer her condolences anyhow. She doesn't know Phoebe as well as she knows some people but still, she's been nothing but kind and helpful to Chell, and the ex lab rat likes her a lot. So she writes in a message.]

Be safe, Phoebe. I'm so sorry about your loss. If there's anything at all I can do to help you, please let me know and I will.

I'm so sorry.

[The fact alone that there is no voice and it's in the written form only, does not bode well. He stares at the message for almost a minute before adding his own written note.]

Be safe, Phoebe. Be strong. If there is anything I can do, anything you need... All in your own time, but don't hesitate to say.

If you need somewhere to stay for a few days when you return, you're welcome here.

058 Spells Cast

Phoebe

York

Phoebe

York

Phoebe

no subject

no subject

no subject

Phoebe

Once-ler

Phoebe

Phoebe

Hermione

Phoebe

Phoebe

Meg

Phoebe

Phoebe

no subject

no subject

Phoebe