16th widows web - dictated

[well_assembled]

So, in a few days I'll have been here a year. I've seen people come and go, live and die. I've hidden and fought and even died myself.

This place is so... I just wanted to thank those of you I've come to know and spend time with. Maybe it's time to rekindle past friendships and make new ones. Mostly I think I just needed to know none of us are alone here.

So you...if you feel alone, you're not. I'm here, we're all here, don't be afraid to reach out to us and don't wait like I did. People are gone all too fast.

Поздравляем с юбилееm.

Comments

[deductiongeek]

Already that long? I guess time does go by rather fast at times.

[well_assembled]

Yeah, here especially. It doesn't feel, well in some ways it feel like five years have passed. But I still have the sharpest memories from when I left.

[deductiongeek]

That makes sense! Its the same for me. I've been here for three years, but I still remember home the best.

[well_assembled]

I wonder why that is, why we remember home so clearly after all this time.

[deductiongeek]

Maybe it isn't that surprising. We hold to memories of home, because that it what is most real to us.

[well_assembled]

Or it's the only real thing, you ever wonder if this place isn't entirely real? What if we're not us and this isn't a place strictly speaking.

[deductiongeek]

Lots of times! Especially when I first came here. I wondered if this place was because of a hallucination or coma dream.

[well_assembled]

More of a mass hysteria or group delusion, so many of us seem to be sharing the same one. Assuming we all actually exist.

[deductiongeek]

Which is even more difficult to prove than a singular hallucination. How do you prove if someone in a dream is real? How do you determine if they are a construct?

[well_assembled]

And even if you can prove it, does perception create reality here? Banner and Stark handled the science, stuff like this is out of my league.

[deductiongeek]

Exactly. Which is why in this case it is best to act as if everything was real.

[well_assembled]

So, even if we aren't real we should continue to act as though we are. Somehow I think this has become very circular.

[deductiongeek]

There are a lot of arguments like that around here.

[well_assembled]

And they never really end, do they?

[bluebot]

That sentiment... it's beautiful. And I'm sorry for your loss-- wait, you died?! How-- [Blue sighs,] I'll never understand this place.

[well_assembled]

Yeah, there was a wold change that went very dark for a lot of us. Not all of them are that bad but this one was pretty close to hell.

People here have been through a lot, it's not something anyone should go through alone.

Nat

[originalcopy]

I guess a 'happy Paraversary' is in order.

I'm not sure if you celebrate that with cake or hard liquor.

Leonard Church

[well_assembled]

Yeah, something like that.

A year here and I've taken over Stark's tower, sent a half dozen friends home and died. I'm leaning toward cake and booze.

Nat to end

[originalcopy]

I just happen to know a bakery on the way. I assume you haven't drained the bar yet.

[well_assembled]

I like the whipped cream frosting.

Not the whole bar, no.

[originalcopy]

Well, try to keep it that way till I get there.

[He'll arrive with cake, chocolate and strawberry with whipped cream frosting.]

action to end

[well_assembled]

[You know the way in and you're one of the few people JARVIS knows to let into Stark's pad. Nat stood looking out the wall of windows over the village, glass in one hand and bottle in the other. But as to which was in use it seemed to vary.

She turned when she heard him and smiled, dressed down and casual in, of all things, a pastel sundress and over sized sweater. She hardly looked like a professional assassin, hell she almost looked fit for a PTA meeting.]

I think there's a good chunk of the bar I haven't hit yet.

[originalcopy]

[He quirks an eyebrow as he looks her over for a moment, before holding up the cake with a grin.]

Let's try to keep it that way, at least for tonight.

[He goes over to the table and sets the cake down.]

One cake, whipped cream frosting as requested.

[well_assembled]

"Right, because you and me and drinking has a tendency to end in naked ways."

She chuckled and walked over to the table, glass and bottle setting to it.

"Don't worry, I'm not that drunk and know where the line is." She reached out to dip her finger in the frosting and taste it. Sweet, light, fluffy and creamy, well it was a good substitute for other things anyway.

"Speaking of that, how are things with Tex? I heard things were dicey when the Gentlemen was around."

[originalcopy]

"Heh, yeah well, there is that too," He felt himself flush slightly "Mostly I just don't want to worry about all my friends drowning themselves in booze."

Plus, it wasn't fucking fair to not be able to enjoy the same experience. As good as this body was, he was still stuck dealing with grief while being denied the two most human ways of coping. He could neither cry or get drunk... no matter how much he wanted either.

"It was nerve-wracking and... well, the castle gave her a living body again. So..." He shrugged and left it at that. She didn't need to be bothered with any details. He didn't want to be that kind of asshole.

[well_assembled]

Nat took a seat in one of the chairs and shoved another out with her foot for him.

"And things didn't go well?" Which was odd, she had thought given everything he'd told her that maybe being human might have done them some good. It should have allowed them some cathartic moments and closeness, chances to do things that they hadn't had in a very long time.

Aside from the obvious danger she had to wonder why it would have been so nerve wracking and just what else was going on. "We made the agreement to be friends, and clearly this is on your mind. So, I'm going to eat some of this cake and you're going to talk."

She took a knife and sliced a piece of cake for herself, dumped it unceremoniously onto a plate and stabbed a fork into it for emphasis. Once she took a bite she looked at him, she held up her part of the bargain he had to talk now.

[originalcopy]

"No, I mean they went great." He sighed and sat down. "It was just, well it was tough thinking about the fact that those things were out there... that she could die."

He shrugged. He'd been trying to make the most of Tex being here, not dwelling on her future. The worst had been seeing the fear in her eyes.

[well_assembled]

"And you ever wondered if you were in love with her?" She laughed softly and shook her head before helping herself to another bite of cake.

"Sounds like she maybe enjoyed it too, possibility of imminent death aside." Nat licked a bit of frosting from the fork before using it to gesture idly at him.

"So you're worried about what? Getting involved and something happening to her again? Any of us could be gone in an hour. We've seen it happen. Sometimes people die here and come back, sometimes they don't." Like everyone she'd grown close save a few, and Church was one of them. Maybe that was why she felt the need to help him get his own life together.

"What if she was gone, tomorrow morning she was gone and you never said anything to her this whole time. Is fear stronger than regret?"

[originalcopy]

He laughed and shook his head. "Hey, I'm supposed to be here to cheer you up, not bother you with my issues."

[well_assembled]

"Years of compartmentalizing emotions makes it easier to deal with other peoples troubles than my own." She shrugged and helped herself to another bite of cake.

"Some benefits to being allowed to read your own psych eval. Take my advice on the Tex situation and we'll consider it dropped. So now you can get on with cheering me up."

[originalcopy]

"Ok, ok advice taken. Sheesh, happy now?" He rolled his eyes but his smirk was friendly.

"So, how do you go about cheering someone up? It's not exactly something I'm good at."

[well_assembled]

"Happier, yes. And you will be too." She angled her fork at him again and laid it aside while she poured a drink.

"Depends on the person, I've seen all kinds as they say. I've always been partial to good talks and foot rubs myself."

[originalcopy]

"Well, I don't know about good, you may have to settle for adequate talk." He chuckles. "The foot rub I can probably manage."

[well_assembled]

"Good enough, friends always are." And with that she rose and moved to settle herself on the couch, ballet flats kicked off and her legs stretched out waiting for him to join her so she can cash in on that foot rub.

"I think I need a purpose. I've been here a year and that's the longest in my life I haven't had a plan or been on the run."

[originalcopy]

He moved to sit at her feet, letting her put her them up in his lap. It wasn't like he hadn't done this for her before. Granted most of those times had led to other things, but that wasn't going to happen. He knows where the lines are and there's totally no residual not feelings that he didn't have anyway.

Yup, just friends. He started with soft pressure on her arches, radiating outward to the rest of her foot.

"A purpose huh... Like a mission or something?"

Duh, she's not a Freelancer but she's still an agent in some sort of crazy program in her world. She's just as likely to go a bit spare from boredom as they are. It's not like he's been around much to keep her company either.

[well_assembled]

"Mmmmmmmmmm...." She leaned back on the arm of the couch and let herself relax. She trusted him, more than could be said for most people not just here but anywhere. She knew she could eased down of her perpetually heightened awareness and tension, she could take a break from being who she was, even if that version of her wasn't strictly needed here.

She shifted her hips slightly and settled down more comfortably as he worked and took a long time to answer his question.

"Not strictly, but I've never had a lot of down time and it's hard to not look for things to go wrong. Like living and waiting for the other shoe to drop." Now that they weren't involved in more than passing acquaintance she didn't have that as a sort of focus and JARVIS took such good care of the Tower that it practically ran itself. "I guess I need to feel useful, which lately I haven't."