ninth.

[eaglet]

[Connor sounds slightly out of breath when he dictates into the journal, mostly because it's so cold outside but also because he's been working pretty hard out there.]

Before I came to this world, I had left my village for six months. I have now been in this place for nine. There are still things I do not understand about both this world and the world outside my village, but I am learning, I think. And there is much to learn.

I have been interested in exploring the Dead Zone again. The god of this place has the power to move us and to transform our surroundings, but I would like to explore on my own terms. There is much to learn here amongst each other, but I feel as though there is even more to learn out there.

[Connor can be found on the castle lawn, packing a long wall of snow about a foot tall, taking care to carve a furrow down the middle. He has acquired some gloves that don't really match the rest of his outfit -- they have a reflective strip down the side and are also neon pink.]

Comments

[eaglet]

It is typically a men's game, but that is fine.

[He stoops down for a small, polished length of wood. He has a few of them of varying lengths down at his feet.]

Um... the track is not finished and I am not a very experienced carver... [Read as: This might be kind of pathetic, don't judge me.

He takes a few steps back, then throws the wooden 'snake' down the track, which it flies down like a toboggan. It doesn't go very far because, like he said, the track isn't finished, so Connor rubs a little awkwardly at the back of his head.]

It is similar to that.

[hellofist]

[Cass just smiles at him, patting his back as she goes past him to retrieve the stick. No judgement, he's still totally adorable.]

How do you... usually smooth it out?

[eaglet]

[He gestures vaguely as he speaks.] There is a larger, smooth length of wood that is used for that. It is to be dragged along the track to make sure the snow is properly packed.

[hellofist]

Let's do that, then. I want to play.

[Except wait...]

Is the track done? Should it be longer?

[eaglet]

[He looks down the track. Um...]

Yes. I mean -- it is not done. Yes, it should be longer.

[hellofist]

[Well then. She gives him one last quick smile, then starts to pile up snow at the end of the track, apparently not minding that she's doing it with bare hands.]

How much longer?

[eaglet]

[That's a good question... he gestures sort of vaguely.]

Perhaps two poles.

[hellofist]

[She reaches for his hand, tugging him over to get him to help too.]

That's easy, then. Will be done... before you know it.

[eaglet]

[He lets her, though he's eying her hands.]

Are you not cold?

[hellofist]

[She pauses, looking down at her fingers wrapped around his. Do they feel cold?]

Don't feel it, much. I can, uh... block that out. Things that hurt. I don't feel pain.

[eaglet]

[Well, that's surprising. Connor blinks, then looks down at their hands again.]

Because of the god of this place?

[hellofist]

[She'd never thought of that possibility before, that the castle could take someone's ability to feel things, but she shakes her head because no that's really not the case.]

Part of my training. Hard to stop someone... who isn't hurt, when you fight back.

i swear i replied to this

[eaglet]

[He frowns at the explanation -- it's not something he thought was physically possible. To not feel pain...]

Can you not feel all things?

no you abandoned it

[hellofist]

I still feel it, can just... turn it off, I guess. Can tell if someone... stabs or shoots me. I just... don't feel it hurting.

i would never!!!!!

[eaglet]

[He's quiet again, thinking about that, then turns his attention back to the snow snake track.]

You must be careful, then. You may be gravely injured and not know it. That is dangerous.

[hellofist]

[Now it's her turn to be surprised.]

No one's ever said that.

[But it's sweet and touching and Cass reciprocates by leaning over to kiss Connor on the cheek.]

I'll remember, Connor. To be careful.

[eaglet]

[WOW okay, hand-holding is one thing. But Connor pretty much can't handle what just happened -- he makes a sound somewhere between a cough and a choking noise, his face darkening by what he is sure is a very embarrassing amount.]

Yes...

[hellofist]

[Wow, that is quite a blush. But Cass doesn't point it out because he already looks like he's about to die of embarrassment. Instead, she goes back to piling up snow.]

Usually, when I'm hurt, can tell... how bad it is. So don't worry, okay?

[eaglet]

[He just nods, clearing his throat. Super extra embarrassing, wow. Wow.]

It is a mark of a good warrior to know his weaknesses as well as his strengths. Or hers.

[hellofist]

Most are obvious, for me. Can't read, bad at talking. All others... just make a better killer.

[This is not actually something she sounds pleased about, though.]

[eaglet]

[He frowns -- at several of those statements.]

You speak fine. It is not something that should shame you. I do not think you are a killer, as well. [He points to his eyes.] You do not look like one to me.

[hellofist]

[It's not that she doesn't appreciate him saying that, because she does. It's nice that people can overlook the things that give her trouble, but it doesn't mean they aren't still a problem.

And oh, she can't help but smile a little sadly at that. She doesn't look like a killer?]

I was eight, my first time.

[eaglet]

[It's young -- but it doesn't really prove her point. Not to him. He lost his mother when he was half that age, and if he'd had the strength and skill to kill at that age, he would have.

Connor looks at her for another moment, then lowers his gaze, absently tugging at the fingers of his neon gloves.]

Among my people, it is a normal thing. War is how we survive -- without war, we would destroy ourselves in our grief and anger. So to me, you are not a killer. You are normal.

[hellofist]

[He isn't fond of a lot of physical contact, she knows that. He's come a long way though, he accepts things like hand holding and her arm around his shoulder a little easier now, so- well, he doesn't have much of a choice now.

Cass leans in to hug him, arms wrapping around him loosely.]

Thank you.

[eaglet]

[Oh. Um. Okay. That's not exactly why he said that, but... alright.

Connor somewhat awkwardly pats her on the back.]

It is only the truth.