paradisa | ninth.

[Connor sounds slightly out of breath when he dictates into the journal, mostly because it's so cold outside but also because he's been working pretty hard out there.]

Before I came to this world, I had left my village for six months. I have now been in this place for nine. There are still things I do not understand about both this world and the world outside my village, but I am learning, I think. And there is much to learn.

I have been interested in exploring the Dead Zone again. The god of this place has the power to move us and to transform our surroundings, but I would like to explore on my own terms. There is much to learn here amongst each other, but I feel as though there is even more to learn out there.

[Connor can be found on the castle lawn, packing a long wall of snow about a foot tall, taking care to carve a furrow down the middle. He has acquired some gloves that don't really match the rest of his outfit -- they have a reflective strip down the side and are also neon pink.]

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There is only so much of a mystery that you can discover each day.

[He also may be basing this assumption on Ezio, whom he only sees like... carousing... constantly...]

I do not see many people looking for discoveries at all.

Do you ever look through the journals? Of course people will not find huge revelations every day, but people question and look, and many things have already been discovered. Plus, people go on those expeditions when the weather is better, so that is something too.

[He shrugs.] I am only saying I am not satisfied.

And that is why I asked what you think we should be doing.

I do not know.

[He is like a baby, give him a break!!!!]

Well, I just thought you might have some idea. There is no right or wrong, it is just your ideas.

[He shrugs...]

I would only like to see more people care about our predicament. Is there anyone who is cataloguing what we know?

There were a few, I believe most have gone home, if not all. There has been so much upheaval lately that I think people are just trying to readjust. And plus it was the holidays, everything always slows down for that.

I am unused to this as well. My people have festivals, but work does not stop simply because we are celebrating.

People work around holidays in my world too, but slightly less at the end of the year, when things are clustered together. There is so much to celebrate, it takes a bit of time away. But I think mostly it is just that it is winter. There is only so much to be inside the castle itself, and most people here would rather not venture out into the Dead Zone in the cold.

[Frowns!!] It is not so bad to travel in the snow.

[Shrug!] I do not go on the expeditions, so that is only my guess.

No? Do you not become bored being caged like this?

I keep myself busy.

[He shrugs. It's boring here. That's why he spends most of his time out in the woods.]

Well, if you would like to come along the next time, I would be glad to assist you.

Thank you, Connor, but I do not plan on ever going out there. I have no interest in leaving the castle.

I would leave whenever I am given the chance. It is only unfortunate that we cannot stay out for very long.

[Molotov's voice softens just a bit when she clarifies.] I mean ever, Connor.

[He just frowns, then asks slowly:] Why?

Connor, I have a life here that I will never have at home. I have a husband. I have a daughter, sometimes. I have... sort of a family. To me, the trade is worth it. I am very rich and successful at home, but it comes at the cost of my relationships.

[He's quiet, looking at her for a moment and then looking away in thought. That's not what he'd been asking; why she doesn't go along on expeditions has nothing to do with not wanting to leave this world. Neither of which make any particular sense to him, not really. This place is unnatural, no matter what sort of second chances it gives; they're all false. Connor is sure there is a chance he will not take a wife either, depending on how his mission progresses, but he still knows he would not trade his obligation for false happiness.

He looks over at Molotov again, frowning lightly.]

That does not explain why you would not ever leave the confines of this area. You would not wish to see the other lands in this world?

[Well, she thought those two answers went hand-in-hand. People went on expeditions because they were looking for a way out.

And Molotov didn't ever want out.]

Not really.

[Well, yes, but people also explored in the real world, which it was actually impossible to escape, so -- the idea of being content with not seeing what is beyond the castle's purview is a little confusing to him.

He frowns, clearly somewhat disappointed but too polite to say, and glances to the side.]

Well... if you should ever change your mind, I will be happy to assist you.

[Molotov wonders why Connor cares so much about what she personally does. It's odd -- sometimes he seems to hate her, and sometimes he seems to deeply care for her.

She really has no idea what to do with him. Girls and very small boys were so much easier.]

Thank you, Connor.

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