paradisa | Nith Car [Action]

This place ... what kinda English is that?

[Another pause, a little longer.]

Booze from where now?

British? [Scrunches face.] Everywhere. Haven't you noticed that all you can drink has turned into booze now? That's nice.

...Oh. Okay. That makes sense. British people don't speak right English.

[Blink, blink.] ... and this is what I get for wishing for Mountain Dew in the morning. Holy crap, I gotta find a tap.

We speak proper English. It's you yankees who speak wrong English.

It's not hard to find one. But you ought to try something else like juice or milk, that has also got turned into booze.

You live in the land of Crumpets and Fucking Delusions if you think we're speaking the wrong English. [Except they are.]

...Seriously!? Everything is booze?!

...god, sometimes I love this place.

Says the guy from the country where the average IQ is 10.

Yeah, everything. Just head downt the kitchen and find owt to drink.
I'm pretty sure a lot of people will be hungover tomorrow. But that's all reight.

Edited 2014-01-02 21:31 (UTC)

Hey, it's at least 100. And we drive on the right side of the road, dude.

I don't know what 'owt' is, but what the hell. I'll give it shot. Or ten, ehheheheh.

Doubtful with all those rednecks, white trash and fundamentalist sheep hanging around. Oh and yankees are the ones' whom drive on the wrong side of the road innit.

Owt means anything. [Shrugs.] That's just my dialect and don't tease me about it.

I'm sure some liquid will act just like shots even. Or you can just take some water. Seems to be vodka to me.

Hey, don't look at me. I'm not any of those batshit crazy guys. I'm all Tucker, all the time. And nope, it's you. Of course it doesn't matter because in the future, most cars fly.

Owt. Anything. Okay, got it, Brit-Guy.

Now all I need is a hot stripper and my life is complete ....

I knew you were decent lad.

[Have a bit of a scowl at that Brit-Guy comment] Yankee.

Try wishing for one, the castle might be in a good mood and let you have one! I got my dog back after all.

Edited 2014-01-04 13:27 (UTC)

I have my moments. Not a lot, but I got them.

[Heh.] As far as I can tell, yep.

...Huh. CASTLE. PRESENT ME WITH A SMOKING HOT HOOKER.

[A beat. Two.]

Sonnvabitch.

I bet.

[Snickers]

At least it didn't give you a burning hot hook.

Man, this place isn't that fucking twisted.

[Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait.]

Uh, nevermind. It totally is.

Yeah that sounds a flamin' oxymoron. From what I've heard it feeds of our feelings. I bet it would like the taste of our agony as it sticks a hot rod up our arses.

Edited 2014-01-04 19:27 (UTC)

Dude, seriously. Don't fucking egg it on. It's fucking psycho enough to do it.

Yeah I probably jinxed it now, didn't I? Well it's normally not paying attention to what we say so let's hope it ignored us this time too.

Yeah, you think? This place is nuts enough to send us murderous cats and guys who take voices and body parts and then send us to Stepford town for shits and giggles.

I think it waits to find the most messed up stuff? Then tosses us at it.

Yeah, clearly. There's nothing "Paradise" over this place. Worst thing is we can't do a flippin' thing about it.

I reckon you have been here awhile then?

Sure we can!

We can complain about it.

Not that it helps much.

Meh. The only other thing is to go out, drink, pick up chicks and forget about all this bullshit.

Or guys. [Shrugs.] I heard they got a pub here in the castle.

Or guys.

Wait.

You like guys?

And they do, it's awesome.

You got a problem with that? [Frowns.]

Hell no, you're fucking honest about it instead of being delusional and perverted.

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((Trying some British accent stuff))

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