- 20 - Return (revenge) of the forty-cup tea urn.

[toobravehearted]

Some may have heard my voice over the radio and journal recently, or, well, I don't know, perhaps you didn't or chose to ignore it, it wouldn't be for the first time honestly, and in that case I will actually say well done to you for taking no notice on that occasion, that was very much the best thing you could have ever done. As for what I appeared to say and for what I appeared to do... I could never and I am very sorry.

[Filter: Those that encountered the Mara.]
I have spoken with many of you already but of those where we've just missed each other... Please, I want to check that you are all right and to make my apologies and gratitude in person.

[Filter: Felix.]
How are you doing? I-- If I could have a little of your time, may we talk?

[Filter: Lady Galadriel.]
If you are available, may we speak, please?


Things have been quite... Busy, in the castle so far this year, haven't they? Not that busy is the best word to use. Frenetic, disjointed, lots of smaller things happening, isolated mostly, like squalls, touching or affecting just a few of us at a time or more, for a day, two, and longer. Residents with lost memories or other afflictions, monsters in the upper halls, rooms decorated at a whim, dragons in the dining room. Add them all up, mark them down, there's no pattern to discern so far, just random pockets of activity and where does that lead us?

[Or what follows a squall? The castle makes him feel restless sometimes. He feels restless now and yet it's not so simple a feeling to define.]

[Filter: Tenth Doctor.]
Do you have a moment?


[What do you do when it's that time in the afternoon and your mind is preoccupied? You make tea, of course. Except the Doctor doesn't tend to do things by half, especially when tea making becomes Olympic Tea Making and it is looking like he may very well take the gold.

The forty-cup tea urn is out, a beautiful, blessed machine, stoked with hot water enough for, well, we shouldn't have to say just how many cups at this point, should we? On the counter next to that are a myriad of cups, mugs, saucers, delicate china tea receptacles painted exquisitely, gaudy large and kitsch mugs with all sorts of designs and what-not twisted jokily as the handles. If anyone was guessing, yes, he did empty the cupboards looking for everything and anything that would hold that such oriental and noxious fluid known as tea.

At the other side of the tea urn, this is where the real magic is happening. The Doctor is actually blending tea. He's taken down everything and all he can find, flavours and strengths from far and wide, a little bit this of, a small pinch of that, just a dash of that one there, tea perfectly tailored for an individual.

And then there's that moment when he takes stock of what he has accomplished and the kitchen counter doesn't look that far away from pleasing John Adams for how much of a mess he has made.]


Er... Would anyone like any tea?


[After all the writing of filters, after all the tea making, there's still room for one more. What does he have to lose? Or what is he trying to prove? Nothing.]

[Filter: Crowley.]
Hello. ... I think I invited you for tea, once, and never actually made good on that. Well, there's some here, if you'd like.


[[ooc: Wide open for journal or action and those that just want to say Hi or have tea. :) ]]

Comments

[lord_wizard]

You'll have to be more specific. I know a few people who could fit that description.

[toobravehearted]

He was with us all at your meeting rooms upstairs. [A brief pause and a look into his drink then back up to Felix.] I believe you may have carried out some research together? You might have wanted to tell him to be quiet a time or two. He locked the Mara out of the TARDIS.

[lord_wizard]

Yes, of course. The one who knew a suspicious amount about and had access to said machine even though I'd never seen or hear of him before? [He wants Five to confirm what he'd already guessed, or at least strongly suspected.]

[toobravehearted]

[Felix might be waiting; the Doctor is hoping that Felix will voice it first. That way, he can play semantics again with himself later.]

That would be the one, yes. I wonder how he knew all that, hmm? [His voice is mild and he nonchalantly drinks some of his tea while looking at Felix over the brim of the cup.]

[lord_wizard]

[There's a tick of annoyance on his face at that. He's not sure why the Doctor is playing this particular game. Or rather, he doesn't like being at the receiving end of it.]

Possibly because he is another one of you?

[toobravehearted]

[The last thing he wants is to deceive Felix. At that expression the Doctor puts down his cup and makes an apologetic sigh. Elbows and forearms on the table, he leans forward, his own expression sincere.]

Quite possibly as in an actually, yes. Not a lot of people know, in fact you're the second. For his - my - valid reasons he would prefer it that way and while I agree I don't completely agree, not where my friends are concerned.

Besides, you figured it all out on your own and I didn't doubt for a second that you would. Which is why I bring it up with you now.

[lord_wizard]

[He's mollified by that, somewhat. Felix's anger can be hard to stop once it gets started.]

I don't claim to understand it at all, but I knew another of...you...during your last stay. It wasn't him, but the connection was not impossible to make knowing that it was possible.

[His fingers tighten around the teacup.] Are you offering to give me a reason for the charade, or simply apologizing for it?

[toobravehearted]

[He nods, simply weathering Felix's ire for a moment.] My Eleventh. Likes bow-ties.

[Head dipped down his voice is tight to hold patience.] Not a charade, even though it's not the first time I've played it. Almost everywhere I go the name I use is already known, sometimes it's worth a lot more to be discrete.

[Clearing his throat and looking back up, voice less tight this time.] His past and my future. I am sorry Felix. It's not my story to tell yet. Whatever it is, he isn't keen to impart it just yet and from what I have gleaned, it can't be good.

[lord_wizard]

[His anger withers slightly along with the apology. He taps the cup with his finger, takes a sip, and sets it down]

I know very little of your past and future regardless. It doesn't matter to me. If you wanted to apologize for the lie, shouldn't he be the one saying it? If you're asking me to keep the secret, I will, but I am not sure I see the point in it.

[toobravehearted]

[He has no idea what Felix does or doesn't know of him, but then, he doesn't revisit or retell his past so often.] That's as may be, but my future matters to me.

Oh, don't get me started with that one, he should be. Why don't you bring that up with him? The point in it however is valid should someone else from our world suddenly appear. [Like the someone that had gotten his elder self so worked up in the first place.]

You should do what you feel is best, Felix. I haven't explicitly asked; you've already done so much and I won't put more on you than you are comfortable with.

[lord_wizard]

If you wanted to keep silent on his identity, then you only had to ask. But I am doing it for you, not for him. I am not unfamiliar with the idea of needing to hide from something you would least like to find you here.

[toobravehearted]

[He stares at Felix a moment but his gaze is a little absent and the Doctor's brow creases into a frown, mulling over what Felix said because that's just it; the Doctor doesn't hide, not physically, at least.]

No one should have to hide or cloak their identity at all. [Yet he has been doing it for centuries.] Thank you. I'm sorry to hear that you understand that so well. I think... I wonder that perhaps the Mara might have helped that along.

[Another subject broached, the reason he wanted to speak with Felix in the first place.]

[lord_wizard]

What do you mean? [Felix took another sip of his tea to try to hide the evasive glance away. He wasn't sure if he meant the other Doctor's evasions or his own theoretical ones, just as he was unsure of how much Five remembered from his first encounter with the Mara]

[toobravehearted]

[He looks around the kitchen carrying out his own part of evasion, his gaze coming to rest in the depths of his tea.]

It can't have been pleasant. It was... It was trying to play you. [Has he already tipped his hand as to what he remembers? possibly.]

You played it back.

[lord_wizard]

[And maybe it's more comfortable that they're both dancing this dance.]

It did what I had to, as repulsive as I found the idea. If it is one thing I have discovered, it is that evil of that kind tends to have a tremendous ego. It never believes you would have the courage to defy it, especially once it believes it has power over you...

[toobravehearted]

[Repulsive is a wonderfully descriptive word there.]

It used only what it saw in you, and it saw... [The Doctor shakes his head a little.]

You're right. Ego. A huge one. You played it to my good fortune.

[lord_wizard]

[Felix wonders what that might have been. Fear? Anger? Vanity?]

Not just to yours, Lakare. It's one of the reasons I started Chimera. I was treated, very early on, to examples of what happens when the castle causes a person of ability to turn against the other residents.

[toobravehearted]

It has happened before? What am I asking? Why wouldn't it?

[He wipes a hand down his face and leans back in the chair.]

Yes, of course. What it did was awful enough. If the Mara had succeeded in its goals...

[lord_wizard]

What was it's goal, precisely?

[toobravehearted]

[Its goal with Felix or with everyone else? It's a question with a fine point, the Doctor finds. His voice is quiet when he speaks, thinking back to what the Mara wanted and what it was doing.]

To rule. Enslave everyone. Create and then feed off of so much chaos and suffering at its hand, my hands, to be exact. I could never allow that to happen again.

What it wanted of you... The Mara thought it had you. I-- I did too, thought that you'd taken its side right up until entering your meeting rooms.

I'm concerned. A little confused. How much was an act?

[lord_wizard]

[And if that wasn't a grand question that could apply to the rest of his life? Who was Felix Harrowgate, really? He'd been asking himself that for about ten years, maybe even longer.

Felix's focuses himself on the content of the question with a subtle swallow.]

A stretch of the truth, mostly. It's true that I have struggled over the years with getting people to act when it's needed. I have suffered the same difficulties as anyone in this castle who has attempted a standing organization of any kind. The castle, and everything in it - including the people - are far too mutable to fully control. You found that out yourself with the Peace Patrol on your last visit here, even if you do not remember it. There is only so much one person can shout to be heard before he stops trying.

[This doesn't address his reactions to some of the Mara's attentions, but the question was indirect enough to leave it be.]

[toobravehearted]

[It was an open question. The Doctor knows what he saw. At least, he's fairly sure what he saw and to that end, forever curious. He has been ever since Felix had said he thought he was being punished, words spoken months ago, now.

When Felix finishes speaking the Doctor shakes his head, just once. Felix gave an answer. It just wasn't the one he thought he was looking for. Of course, why would he give what he's looking for? No reason at all, but he's watching Felix closely.]

That stretch was rather convincing. When truth is stretched is that still classed as an act?

Erratic, yes, but controlling the people, no, never. That makes us no better than the Mara or any other force. I never want that. To help however, yes. The Peace Patrol, I've heard enough to understand that it didn't work. For the record, politics was never my strong suit. [He's far more adept than that, he just doesn't like getting embroiled in it.]

We all wear different faces, you know. Different acts. I should tell you the story about the six faces of delusion-- [Breaking off, he remembers Ambril and his headdress. On Manussa. The Mara's home-world.] Ah, maybe another time. The point though, is that you shouldn't. Stop shouting, that is. As long as it is for the right reasons. I don't doubt that you would do your best to help people here.

[lord_wizard]

[It was true that he'd been angry. His occasional frustration with the rest of Chimera and the rest of the residents had been real. He'd gained a faint appreciation for the struggles of his superiors back home in the process. That part is easier to explain than his tempestuous love-hate relationship with things that would control him. Things that could take the weight of those decisions away from him. Just as much as the part of him that has, from time to time, enjoyed his self-appointed position of power far too much.]

I am not always sure I know what those things are. Charitable actions are not exactly in the nature of wizards where I come from. It is something I have had to work at and have likely failed as much as I have succeeded. I only saw a need that required fulfilling. Magic is far too misunderstood. It becomes synonymous with 'impossible to comprehend' and is dismissed by most, when it is the thing that impacts our lives more than anything else.

[toobravehearted]

[The Doctor shakes his head again. Always so eager to see the good in someone he will deliberately make himself ignorant to the bad or to the flaws. He knows everyone has them. In Felix's case, he might well have seen some and for how that came about, what the Mara did... Left with the impression of the Mara twirling Felix's hair through his own fingers and the manipulation at play, it repulses him and challenges everything he is. What makes it worse is that on some level, he thinks that Felix liked it.]

For a wizard's nature, you make it sound like an atonement. Are you so inclined to follow the crowd, give in to that nature or be so ambivalent? I think not. Every success Felix no matter how small, that's the reward. Even for a failure, if you at least tried.

Magic impacting our lives here, I shall certainly give you that. Just because yours - or you - are misunderstood, that doesn't mean you should give up.

[He reaches for his cooling tea, making a very quick and wry smile at the same time.] Notice that I didn't say 'shout louder'.

[lord_wizard]

[Felix offers a smile in return - somewhat forced but also somewhat bashful at the same time. The Doctor's use of the word atonement wasn't all that far wrong. Felix himself wasn't sure if that's what it was. As if anything he did here could actually make up for anything he'd done back home at all.]

I suppose I do sometimes mistake the difference between persistence and being obnoxious. Though I wish my motives were as entirely as altruistic as you seem to be thinking.