Chapter Twenty-Three

[thebestseller]

Hey. Hey. Hey. Paradisa. Do you know what today is?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

No foolin'.

Come to the Death Match. Drinks and cake are on me.

[However, anybody coming to the Death March may have at least one of the following happen: 1. They will get drenched with beer (water for underage patrons) as they walk in the door; 2. They will get a pie in the face as they walk in the door; 3. Their stool will have a pie or whoopee cushion on it; 4. The normally benign peanuts and potato chips at the bar will be coated with sriracha.]

Comments

[dictated]

[fearbringer]

[What if someone teleports in through the shadows, Castle. What then.]

Now, that sounds ominous.

[dictated]

[themuse]

Oh God, Castle, I'm so sorry. I didn't even... I'm sorry, I completely blanked it.

[It's official. Kate is the worst girlfriend ever.]

[dictated]

[thebestseller]

You've had other things on your mind, hon.

[dictated]

[thebestseller]

[Then Castle may end up with beer on his head...]

It is a totally innocent invitation. Not kidding about it being my birthday, either- I was Mom's little April Fool.

[dictated]

[fearbringer]

[THIS IS ACCEPTABLE. Even if Pitch kind of likes him.]

I'm sure you'll forgive those of us who are skeptical. Everyone seems to be getting into the holiday spirit today.

Even me, and I'm not usually the type.

[action]

[gottaknockhard]

[As someone who isn't a regular patron, not anymore anyway, Spike may have forgotten who is running the Death Match nowadays. He wasn't thinking about that when he picked the nearest bar to hide out in after he woke up from his... well, it must have been a coma. That also unfortunately means that he doesn't realize what day it is.

So he doesn't put the message together until he enters the bar and suddenly finds himself soaked in beer. He glances upward, in case there's a leak situation, but otherwise he stays almost bizarrely composed. Then he keeps walking towards the bar stools.]

On you, huh?

[givetheslip]

Is it still your birthday, though? I'm given to understand the calendars here and where we're brought from don't always match.

[dictated]

[themuse]

Yeah, I guess I have. I'll make it up to you?

[After she pulls a prank on him, obviously. Especially once she gets down to the bar and realizes what he is up to.]

[dictated]

[dog_eat_dog]

[Chiding:]

Tsk tsk.

[dictated]

[themuse]

Don't you have something better to do?

[Ugh Tess why must you exist.]

[dictated]

[dog_eat_dog]

Oh, have a sense of humor.

Dictated

[the_effect_she_has]

If this is your birthday ... is it always like this?

[dictated]

[themuse]

I do. When something is actually funny.

[dictated]

[dog_eat_dog]

Uh huh.

enter one spoilsport

[deductiongeek]

[Conan was not an easy one to fool. He'd survived living with his parents for the first fourteen years of his life, after all.

More relevantly, he'd survived all of their pranks. It had taught him observation.

And so instead of entering the Death Match, Conan drags a chair over and immediately begins to neatly disassemble the traps on the door.]

Dictated

[preformthisneigh]

[Sure is the sound of an accordion playing in the background.]

♫ Super duper happy birthday to you
Every single birthday wish should come true
And if they don't, it's no big deal
You could always ask for a giant harp seal
Though you should be careful, I hear those things bite
AND a super duper happy birthday to you! ♫

[dictated]

[thebestseller]

You can at least be assured that the most you'll get is some injured dignity. I'm not in the business of being cruel.

[dictated]

[thebestseller]

... go on...

not here

[thebestseller]

[Castle is just going to silently tut right back at you.]

[dictated]

[fearbringer]

Tricks or not, were the free drinks and cake a real offer?

[action]

[thebestseller]

[Castle gives his guest a cheerful wave from the bar before offering him a towel when he keeps approaching.]

And may end up on my guests, too, now that you mention it.

[thebestseller]

As far as I can tell, yes. April Fool's Day is the day for tomfoolery and pranks, after all, and I'm not the only one who seems to have gotten the urge.

Dictated

[thebestseller]

Oh, last year people spent the entire day singing, if I'm remembering correctly. This is at least a little different.

[thebestseller]

[Castle had been cleaning off the bar when he thought he heard someone outside the door. Excusing himself, he went to peek outside- and spotted a familiar figure.]

Should've guessed.

Dictated

[thebestseller]

Thanks, friend! Is that an accordion you're playing?