- forty-seventh year waiting -

[nurse_boy]

[dictated]

[in the kitchen, there's the sound of banging pots and pans, general kitchen noise, and then--one extremely frustrated yell]

Really, castle? Really? How rotten can you be? All I want is a bacon sandwich, just one bacon sandwich--at this point I'd be happy with just, I don't know, a soggy bit of bread--

[more banging noises followed by a dull wet thwack--the sound of a fish hitting the linoleum]

And you give me kippers?! I bloody hate kippers! They make me ill! I eat them and I vomit! How am I supposed to get on like this? I haven't had a thing to eat all day! [he sounds like he's at his wits end. He is. He's starving and the castle will give him nothing but kippers, no matter what] Is this punishment? If it is I think I'll have the tiger back... please, castle. Just one bacon sandwich, is all I ask--

[thwack thwack thwackthwackthwack]

Bloody son of a--

[THWACK]

Comments

[psych0p0mps]

what in the heck is a kipper

[nurse_boy]

A fish. A disgusting one.

[psych0p0mps]

hmmm
...
castle i wish for a kipper

[A poof, and the sound of sizzling!]

what no
this is a bacon sandwich

[nurse_boy]

[snappish]

Like I haven't already thought of that. See? Castle--kipper, please.

[similar sound of sizzling]

But the moment I touch it, it turns into a bloody kipper again.

[the sizzling stops abruptly]

[psych0p0mps]

oh
in that case then i guess its just screwing with you sorry :T

[........ followed by the sound of nomming. waste not want not]

[jimfromit]

Could I interest you in a burger?

[A mooo is heard in the background.]

[nurse_boy]

[sourly]

It won't work, we tried that already. It'll just turn into a kipper too.

[jimfromit]

Oh well your loss. [Except it isn't really.]

[nurse_boy]

[oh yes it is, stranger]

Yeah, it bloody well is my loss--I haven't been able to eat a thing all day!

[jimfromit]

Don’t fret petal we're all in the same crazy boat together!

Except the steak dinner you ordered didn't eat your best Armani suits.

[nurse_boy]

['petal'?? is this bloke gay?]

Yeah, well, at least you could--eat the steak back.

[jimfromit]

[Oh Rory, Jims only gay when he’s roleplaying as that nice IT technician from down the hall.]

Eat it raw? Like a savage? God no!

Besides knowing the castles current state I’m pretty sure if I picked up a knife of any sort it’d turn into a party streamer or a fish.

[hullo_sweetie]

Sounds like you're having an interesting day.

[River sounds equally as frustrated]

[nurse_boy]

Oh yeah. Absolutely brilliant.

[but then his voices softens a bit, showing a hint of--fatherly?--concern]

Are you alright?

[hullo_sweetie]

I'm fine. No problems getting food, but I'm afraid the bath I had this morning was extremely tricky. That and my hair -

[She trails off, but sounds very disgusted with the castle]

It keeps changing colors.

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

[Oh dear.]

Need some help over there?

forever

[nurse_boy]

Yeah I need some help.

[but then he sounds a little contrite for snapping at her]

Not sure how much good it would do though.

[wizard_redfive]

[Dairine just ignores the snapping, so she's not even bothered.]

That depends. How picky are you with sandwiches?