033. [dictated + action]

[foolishwhisper]

[so Adachi had just come to realize that a couple people he knew were no longer in the castle. He was debating saying something, journal already open, or leaving it to people who were no doubt closer to them than he was (he assumes)...

When all of a sudden.

Something changes.]

Well.

Now isn't this interesting...?

[and what's the first thing a Shadow thinks of doing when he's actually in control?

Stretch these darn legs with your little pet blob Shadow following you behind you of course!]


(ooc: loss start, open like an open thang, over journals and in person.)

Comments

[selfless]

[non, I see right through you... you were saving it for the real thing ;D]

Ah... [it takes a moment to replace her surprised look with something less... totally rude asdgkhasdgh the best she can summon is a very very awkward smile]

I-It's... um, it's been a really long time.

[foolishwhisper]

[okok]

Indeed.

[he takes a step towards her]

Does it make you nervous? To see me again.

[selfless]

[asdgah she fights the urge to take a step back as well. No, if she's learned anything from Joshua, anything at all.. is that being scared of someone doesn't do any good. If anything it'll only ever hurt the situation. So she shakes her head]

No... I'm just confused, I guess. [that's a bit of a lie. They didn't exactly meet under the best circumstances last time, it's understandable that she'd be nervous. But to her... those feelings feel cruel, so brb trying to pretend she's not nervous]

Did you just get here?

[foolishwhisper]

[his creeper smile leaves for now. He just looks more relaxed and aloof for the moment.]

I just woke up, yes. And before you or anyone else gives me another "WHERE'S ADACHI" spiel, the castle just decided to put him asleep and me in charge of our body for a while.

[selfless]

I see... [aaaand you can practically see her trying to remember any of the little tidbits that Adachi told her about all this... shadow business]

Um, Adachi told me a little bit about you. You're sort of like... his other half?

[foolishwhisper]

In a way, yes. I am a Shadow, the True Self. We are what people try to deny or hide about themselves, which sounds worse than it really is. [of course he's bias as hell though]

[selfless]

[ah... for some reason just hearing that makes her heart ache]

I'm sorry... that sounds really painful.

[foolishwhisper]

[he raises an eyebrow, creeper smile disappearing for a moment]

How so? It's normal isn't it? Not everyone's perfect after all. We must all have things we don't like or things we're afraid to let people see.

[selfless]

Yes, it's normal, but...

To think about the things that you don't like about yourself, as another person who's inside of you... I don't think many people think of it that way. They just think that they're trying to make themselves better. People probably don't realize that they're being cruel to someone.

[foolishwhisper]

Ah but that's the thing.

They don't think of it that way.

It was that world, that other world beyond the TV screen, that gave us a form at all. A gift from a God it seems.

And what did people do when we materialized?

They rejected us.

Denied our right to exist. Anguished screams of "you're not me!" Given power to grow large and go berserk.

Not even the lesser Shadows formed from mankind's collective conciousness could avoid it. That's the real reason other me doesn't let anyone see Blacky here, you know. No matter how docile he is, someone will attack him sooner or later because all they'll see is a threat to their life as a "good person".

Tell me, isn't that more painful? Being denied and rejected because people can't face the truth about themselves? All a Shadow ever wants... is acceptance. That's all.

[selfless]

[was there.. really a part of someone like this? in everyone? someone that's just hurting and only wants to be loved and accepted. It's so sad]

I'm sorry.

It's not their fault either... no one is at fault, but it's all really sad. I'm sorry all shadows have to go through that pain.

[foolishwhisper]

[and then there comes... a weird look. Is it pride?]

All of them but me that is.

[selfless]

You've... been accepted?

[foolishwhisper]

Yes.

In fact, I was accepted immediately.

That's because me and him are special.

He always knew he was not a good person and he knew the things I said were true.

Everyone else was either killed by their Shadow or had to let others fight their battles before they realized the truth.

I'm the only one who was embraced and accepted right from the start.

So now I've elevated into a Persona.

[selfless]

[oh....

does Adachi really think he's not a good person? If he's accepted this shadow as his 'true self' what does that mean for the way he views himself? Does he always see himself like.. this?]

Adachi... and you. You're a good person.

[foolishwhisper]

[that gives him pause]

You wouldn't say that if you knew.

[selfless]

What...? [it slips out as she wonders out loud. If she knew what? But... no, after taking a moment's pause she shakes her head]

No, I know you're a good person.

[foolreversed]

No. [it's a very strong tone that comes out of his mouth.]

You are definitely wrong.

You will only hurt him by saying that.

It makes him feel guilty.

And gives him a momentary false belief.

[selfless]

[ah.. hurt him? No, that's the last thing she wants to do. Her smile falters and she looks worried]

Everyone... does things that they regret. That doesn't mean that they're a bad person, or they should be lonely.

[foolreversed]

So what about the wicked?

Those who knowingly hurt others?

Those who have murdered in cold blood?

Those criminals who have no regrets?

[selfless]

... I think they might have regrets, somewhere deep inside. But people like that... I think they act like that because they have been hurt before. They're just feeling so much pain that they try to hurt others.

It doesn't mean that they're bad people. Even if it was a long time ago or it's been buried under a lot of anger and saddness, everyone has goodness inside of them.

[foolishwhisper]

[Hurt before... yes.

He's silent for a while.]

...You're more foolish than he is.

Maybe that's what he likes about you so much.

[selfless]

[foolish... Mm, maybe she is a little foolish, or naive. She's been told that by a few people, but that little smile comes back none the less]

Maybe... but that's what I really think.

And I like him a lot too. [which I guess includes you... shadow-chan]

[foolishwhisper]

Hmph.

We'll see if you still like us so much when the time comes.

[selfless]

[she had always wondered... he is hiding something. It's funny to hear it straight out. She almost wants to ask what he's hiding, but... it doesn't feel like the right thing to do]

Okay... then I'll wait until you trust me enough to tell me.