Case #06. Wut.

[cantacquityou]

 

[One day, nearly a fortnight ago, Miles Edgeworth disappeared from Cair Paradisa to seek temporary, reclusive solace at a hotel in the City Royale. He alerted no one of this little vacation, and ceased all communication with everyone - be it through the journals, or otherwise...

...but he's back - however unintentionally - and not in any way he could have ever foreseen. His clothes - remnants of a white undershirt and reddish-pink pajama-bottoms - are in scorched tatters. 

In one hand, there's a 4.5 ft. baguette. In the other, a machine gun...A gumball machine gun.

...and with that, he is chasing a massive growlithe around the castle grounds. 

Perhaps you're one of the unfortunate souls to witness this. After all, there is a perfectly rational explanation.

...maybe.]

Comments

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

[Wow Edgeworth, rude. Waving that thing in everyone's face Hearing the question, Jade pointed where the dog he'd seen had run to.]

'By the way, Your friend is coming for you.'

[Jade's gonna hope this moves the dog. Jade likes watching the chase. It's funny.]

[cantacquityou]

[You'll hear more barking coming from the journal in the process. He blinks, flabbergasted, leaning forward as if the few inches of distance with exponentially improve the range of hearing, somehow.]



...I beg your pardon?

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

[Jade takes his pen, the point of which glows gold, and writes in big letters in the air.]

'I cannot speak'

.5

[cantacquityou]

[He squints at that for a bit. 'Cannot speak'? After making out what's written, he yells again.]


Are you on a ---

1.00

[cantacquityou]

[And just at that moment, the growlithe appears out of nowhere, running past Edgeworth and toppling him over into the grass.]


...DAMN it!

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

[This causes Jade to break into a fit of laughter from his perch. Silent as it is, Jade just looks a tad odd with shoulders shaking and mouth in a wide grin.]

[cantacquityou]

[See this face? This is the face of resignation. The face of realization that... no matter how good-looking he is, he's probably never, ever going to get laid ever again. Ever.]




[....ever.]




[...That's the type of face Edgeworth has right about now.]

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

[Quite the odd realization you've come to, Edgey. There might be hope for you yet.]

'He looks so sad, might you go cheer him up?'

[Gonna see if that works.]

.5

[cantacquityou]

[Not a chance. She's doing this on purpose, after all. She begins mirthfully, and teasingly, hopping around the exasperated man.]

1.00

[cantacquityou]

[He brings himself to his feet, and in the process, accidentally releases the safety on the machine gun. Almost immediately, the gun begins to uncontrollably spray gumballs all over the courtyard, the force of the machine jerking Edgeworth around like a poor ragdoll.]





GAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!








[...Oh, btw. Ever.]

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

[Jade enjoys the show until the gumball machine goes off and he ducks under the sill to avoid getting destroyed by the thing.]

[cantacquityou]

[It takes about three minutes until the machine has emptied itself completely. Seething, practically crazed and shaking from the ordeal, he flings the offending machine to the ground and yells at TEH TOP OF LUNGHS!!111


...At least you can have a year's supply of bubble gum?]

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

[Still ducked down, Jade looked around his room to see the damage.

Nothing big, a glass had been knocked over and there were little tiny gumballs everywhere but he and his room weren't too bad considering.]

[cantacquityou]

[Oh, look. He's gone. To alert more onlookers, no doubt.]

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

[A moment later, Jade peers back over the windowsill to look down into the yard where Edgeworth was. What in the world.]

[cantacquityou]

[I don't know. I really don't know. He calls again:]


...I take it you're enjoying the show.

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

[Jade looked around the room, then picked up a gumball and popped it into his mouth, crunching down and chewing on it. After that, he blew a bubble and let it pop before he wrote into the gold, hanging letters again.]

'Yes.'

[cantacquityou]

...Glad to provide your entertainment for the evening.



[That was sarcasm. Yes.]

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

'How kind!'

[cantacquityou]

...




...I hope you are aware that was sarcasm.

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

'Quite aware'

[cantacquityou]

...



Splendid. Now that you've been sufficiently entertained, would you mind returning the favour?

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

'Depends. I'm not the entertaining type.'

[cantacquityou]

I think it goes without saying that I could certainly use some clothes...




...Or a drink...




[mumbled]...Or some sympathy...

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

'I can supply the drink. I believe Paradisa has a bar I've yet to see. However, I think you could just wish for new clothes if you'd like.'

[From his vantage point, Jade can see he's too small for anything of his to fit on Edgeworth.

The last part Jade can't do; he didn't hear it and he just doesn't do sympathy.]