046 ♕ [voice]

[loisfuckinglane]

[Felix]

If I were to ask you about a mysterious indecipherable journal from a certain ruined castle, would that ring any bells?

[First Gens]

Yeah, I know, breaking radio silence, always suspicious. But I think it's clear that you're at least out there trying to listen in, so I figured it's worth a shot. If you want to go ahead and assume this is some kind of zombie-hive-mind induced trick, well, I can't make you answer. But you've gotta admit, it'd be kind of strange for a castle zombie to be asking about this.

We've all gotten new journals. It's been months ago, now. And it's a little bit unnerving, when we've been running on the same system since "our" group arrived here. But it got a few of us to thinking - did this happen before? Is that why we don't have any history on the fact that you all used to even live here? If that's the case, it seems like the castle was trying to cover its tracks, or start fresh after you left... but then why would it do that to us, when we haven't gone anywhere and a bunch of us still remember and can pass that info on? Were we coming too close to something? If so, I don't know why it let all us oldtimers keep our original journals. [Wryly] Of course, we could all wake up tomorrow and find they've gone the way of the dinosaurs too, I suppose, and maybe I'm jinxing it big time by even bringing the point up, but still.

I just want to know if there's a history of this happening. Maybe it can help us understand. And as long as some of us are still asking questions, doubting and not just taking things in stride, maybe we can keep that part of ourselves that you all seem afraid we're destined to lose.

That's not the only thing. And I already get the feeling that you're not about to get all share time on this topic, but the fact is that when some of our people took an expedition to the ruins of the castle in the north, there were traps there that seemed completely undisturbed. Have any of you even tried approaching Libet before? Or do you stay away from it for the same reasons you avoid Paradisa?

Whatever spark of life might have once belonged to the castle is long gone, apparently. I'll be publishing a report on our findings soon. As a show of good faith, I'm not going to try to filter that information away from any of you, in case you honestly don't know anymore than we do. Hiding clues about this place that's trapped all of us isn't doing either of us good. I'm getting really tired of the whole cloak and dagger routine.

Comments

[browne]

It did. For the majority of them, it was their lives. It was very different from Paradisa, personality included.

[loisfuckinglane]

Do you think they would have still gone home? If they had a choice?

[browne]

By that point, nobody was going home, so I don't think anyone thought of it much... we were so out of touch with them that we didn't hear much.

[loisfuckinglane]

People stopped getting sent home?

[browne]

It's not uncommon. It happened to you folk a few Christmases ago, too, but it wasn't as long as some droughts are.

[loisfuckinglane]

... Have you ever heard anyone discussing the possibility that maybe nobody actually goes home?

We've had some people show back up here from before, who remember everything. Some of whom went somewhere else instead of home. Somewhere here - another illusion or something, like we had recently with Paris.

[browne]

We've spoken about it plenty of times. There are people who would put up with the castle for the chance at going home, but when they find out there are no guarantees... well. Why bother?

[loisfuckinglane]

Is that how you feel?

[browne]

[Pause.]

Sometimes, yes, but it's a constant war between heart and head.

[loisfuckinglane]

I suppose there's probably not any of us who aren't split, on some level.

[browne]

That's how Paradisa gets you, isn't it? You start thinking about what you want more than what it wants, but it's the one with all the control.

[loisfuckinglane]

[There's a beat before she answers again.]

Why do you trust us? As far as you do, at least.

[browne]

We were stuck in Paradisa, once. If there was a generation before us, they weren't around to keep an eye on us. I would have wanted that.

Besides... none of you asked to be in this situation.

[loisfuckinglane]

I wish everyone shared your sentiments.

I just wanted you to know some of us appreciate it. And if you ever need someone to look after you, you aren't alone, either.

[browne]

As do I. You're welcome... and thank you.

[loisfuckinglane]

Thank you. It's nice to not just constantly feel like I'm banging my head on a brick wall of information.