Losing Ground

[its_worthdoing]

[She only has to wake up to know. All the off Willow feels is confirmed by a cursory look around the room. She doesn't linger.

The lingering hurts more.

From three. To two.

Then one.

Despite all the knowing, she makes the brief walk to the room-that-ever-was.

The words are soft and contained]

Jilly's gone. Jilly's gone home.

[And then, before she can think better of it? Or quadruple doubt herself? She filters someone in particular]


She's -- she's gone Billy. I woke up and she was just gone.

Comments

[banished_dame]

Gone? [this is upsetting news]

[its_worthdoing]

I checked everywhere. Including her old room.

[banished_dame]

I'm sorry to hear that. [And so it begins... this is the part that Rose always disliked.]

dictated

[toyhopes]

[Vivi's small voice is full of concern.] Hey lady, are you okay?

dictated

[its_worthdoing]

[The concern cuts through. Touches edges that are still raw]

It's Jilly.

[After a moment it occurs to Willow that answer might not translate]

Not especially, no.

dictated

[toyhopes]

[She's quiet for a moment, thinking hard.] Do you want a hug? They help me when I'm sad.

[onlyanapple]

What? Jilly, Jilly?

[its_worthdoing]

[Completely certain, now]

There is only one Jilly.

[onlyanapple]

Well, fuck. [He's not amused, castle, not at all]

dictated

[thedicearecast]

...You're sure?

dictated

[its_worthdoing]

Almost all of her things are gone. And I checked her old room.

[cricketycricket]

[one soft, quiet syllable is the sound of two hearts breaking]

... oh ...

[he knew. the rational, sensible part of him knew this day would come. he'd hoped it might come after his own, but still, he KNEW she'd go. but that doesn't make it any less of a shock. sweet, optimistic, beautifully HUMAN Jilly Coppercorn, one of his dearest Paradisan companions ... gone. without a trace, save the memories and the kindness she showed everyone else.

but he swallows down his own emotion, and does exactly what she would have done:] Do you need company?

[its_worthdoing]

[Something in that gentle tone hurts more than it should. It is soft, without edges. But it cuts all the same.

Willow blinks fiercely]

I -- I don't think so. [Filling spaces with anything other than Jilly at the moment just feels wrong] At least not yet.

[cricketycricket]

I can understand that, completely. [were he not the sort to need to constantly surround himself with at least one other person, he'd be right there with her] ... Whenever you'd like the company, though - I'll be around.

[bro_codebreaker]

What? No. No, that's -- [the ground drops out and his heart leaps into his throat. Barney clutches the back of his couch to steady himself and leans over it, looking at the journal in disbelief. he didn't hear that right. he couldn't have heard that right. he checks the dictation ...

... he heard it right.

his internal filter breaks, and he mutters]

But I didn't tell her so this wouldn't happen --

[its_worthdoing]

[That actually jerks Willow of whatever place she is currently occupying. Said place still more welcoming than her now-empty room]

Didn't tell her what?

[bro_codebreaker]

That --

[he sighs, scrubbing his hands over his face]

It doesn't matter now. Never mind.

[hulloeverything]

No... She's -

[Eleven sighs. A deep one that comes from the bottom of his hearts. His hearts that ache even though he's greatly relieved that she's out of danger... well... out of Paradisa's flavor of danger, at least. He doesn't know what she's going home to but he greatly hopes that it's better than what she'd had to endure here.]

I'm sorry...

[its_worthdoing]

Don't be sorry. Not for me. Jilly, she --

[A sigh]

I'm just going to miss her.

[wield]

I'm... So sorry, Will.

[its_worthdoing]

Buffy.

[Quietly. Contained. Willow knows she will understand]

[Dictated]

[knightprodigy]

[Well, would you look at that. They've were only saying their hellos (again) a few days ago, and now she was gone.

Fondly;]

She'll be missed.

[Dictated]

[its_worthdoing]

[Still quietly]

She will, yes.

[She answers blindly, not knowing who this was to Jilly]

[needtoruleit]

[he heard her... he heard the words, processed them... but something just still isn't sticking. He wears Doubt like a shield.]

...What do you mean gone? She can't be gone.

[its_worthdoing]

[Willow is not certain what she was expecting. After all, Billy hasn't been -- with the <>around for some time now. But she realizes then? How much she still wanted him to understand. More than any of the others. The most.

Because he knew them. He was then. And she feels incredibly let down by his immediate denial]

Yes, she's gone. [Willow has talked to so many people about this by now. She's tired and short. And mostly? She's sad] The sharing a room part? Sort of made it clear.