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[luthored]

[Ezio Auditore]

So, I was thinking... This may sound ridiculous.

[ Shut up she isn't flustered ahem ahem. ]

We got to know each other so well in Paris, but I didn't really get you anything for Christmas, and I feel like I should have, considering nobody would have gotten their presents if not for you.

So why don't I make you some lunch sometime? Any day is fine, since I work evenings. If you like, we can go horseback riding and have a picnic. There's a large tree not too far out that's...surprisingly warm.

[/Ezio Auditore]

[Lilah Morgan]

How's the house hunt going?

[ If all's been according to plan, then terribly. But Lana can't be controlling everything so she has to check and see. It's a casual enough question, right? Especially when the person asking was supposed to be the one 'recommending' you... ]

[/Lilah Morgan]

[Tess Mercer]

I'd like to meet, and talk. Something I wish I had done more the last time you were here. What day are you free?

[ No she isn't asking if Tess wants to talk. That isn't even an option, honey. ]

[/Tess Mercer]

[Ray Stantz & Jet]

I wanted to thank the both of you properly for helping me back at Libet. I know I wasn't really aware of what was going on when I eventually woke up, so...

Thank you. And if there's anything I can do to pay you back, let me know.

[/Ray Stantz & Jet]

[Wesley Wyndam-Pryce]

I got a new toy.

[/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce]

I'll be honest and say that Friday really lived up to its reputation, didn't it? I heard a lot of people got creeped out, but I didn't hear about anything serious happening. At least I hope that's right.

It would help if people checked in and let me know they're okay.

Comments

[compels]

[ ......... 8(((((( oh god now he feels even shittier how is this possible. his heart twists in his chest. ]

Thoughtful. [ He follows her into the kitchen, hovering awkwardly by the threshold of it. ] ... I screw up. Sometimes I do things that I don't have to do. [ A beat. ] And it sucks. [ This is what an apology sounds like. ]

[luthored]

[ She purses her lips a bit thoughtfully at that, leaning against the fridge door and folding her arms across her chest defensively.

It's not a very good one. ]

Yes. It does.

[compels]

[ Awkward silence. He won't say it, but the fact is he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to get better. Find a way to stop ... sucking. Or whatever. After a pause, he rolls his eyes a little bit. ]

That was a yes on the blood, by the way.

[luthored]

[ And knowing that is probably the only reason she hasn't given up and just tried to stake him. Still, it's not enough anymore. Something has to change, but the question is what. What are either of them willing to change?

Seeming mildly annoyed by his answer, she keeps it to herself and pulls him out a bag. She doesn't hand it over, though, instead taking it over to where she can pour it into a proper mug and stick it in the microwave. She won't have him sucking blood out of a juicebox in her kitchen.

Really, Lana has nothing to say. She's said everything she needed to. Right now the best she's hoping for is that he'll just behave and go sleep on her couch and leave her alone... But she never knows what to expect, of course. ]

[compels]

I thought you'd understand. [ It sounds stupid coming out of his mouth, but it's the truth. With how things had gone with Clark recently, he had hoped that Lana might understand the reasoning behind Damon's grudge against Wesley. It all boiled down to being hurt. ] He wanted me to be someone that I wasn't. And when I didn't meet his perfect image, he bailed. What's that sound like, Lana?

[luthored]

You thought I'd understand?

[ Turning, she slams the mug down next to him, hands on her hips. ]

Wesley and I never asked you to be perfect, Damon. We just don't want you murdering people or threatening our friends. That's nothing like my situation, and it's not too much to ask.

Besides, he tried to make contact again. He wanted to help, for the greater good. You're the one with too much of an ego to accept it.

[compels]

Newsflash, Lana. I'm not human. I will never be human again. I'm a monster, so why the hell are you so surprised when I act like one?

[luthored]

[ That just gets an uninterested eyeroll, turning back around to pull a bottle of water out of the fridge. She's growing tired of these lines. ]

More excuses. That's all they are. Or did absolutely nothing I said to you before Christmas get through your skull?

[compels]

Refresh my memory.

[luthored]

Then sit down and listen for once, instead of always running your mouth off.

[ And drink your blood it's getting cold. ]

[compels]

[ He takes a seat, grabbing the mug and gesturing widely like he's Vanna White. ] Wow me. [ Then he takes a deep drink from the mug. ]

[luthored]

I'm not here to wow you. I'm not here to coddle you or give you a treat every time you've been good.

[ She takes a seat across from him, folding hers arms across the edge of the table and looking at him. She still doesn't feel like talking, she still wants to hide away in her room, but she knows that isn't going to solve anything.

Not that this will either, but as hurt and frustrated as she is, she doesn't want to give up so quickly. ]

Do you think I really care that you're a vampire, Damon? Do you think I ever did? I've known far more dangerous demons. I'm friends with one. I've also known angels, contractors, aliens, mutants, witches, talking animals... And really, I say for the last time, that's what you are. Not who you are. It's a classification, just like being human. I've known evil humans, and I've known kind demons.

Who you are is going to remain a monster if that's what you choose, but it doesn't have to be. You always have a choice, but the problem is you never seem to think there is any. So you lash out, because for some reason you've given up on yourself enough that you're not willing to actually put any hard work into changing.

If you think Stefan can repent, then why not you?

[compels]

[ Because he doesn't think that. Because Stefan tries to repress what he is and the one time he has to accept it, he lashes out worse than anyone.

Because Stefan spent a great deal of his life as a ripper and the reason he broods so much is that he has finally taken the time to slow down long enough to consider what that means, and Damon's too scared to let it sink in. If he tries to really recapture his humanity, then all the guilt will have to come with it. And he hates himself far too much.

Because the only reason Angel is good is because he has a soul. And most vampires don't. If that's true in their world, then maybe in his -- ]

Because I don't know if I even have a soul to save.

[luthored]

...Well you're never going to find out if you don't change anything.

[compels]

[ He's just silent at that; because he knows she's right, but he also knows that if he doesn't try and change, he'll never fail. If he doesn't try, if he just accepts that he's a monster, he won't have to suffer the disappointment of discovering that he's soulless and there really is nothing he can do to get better. ]

[luthored]

[ At his expression, and the drawn out tension, Lana can't help but cave a bit and reach out to touch his hand. ]

It means something that you came here. Just stop making that face, you don't have to make my night any worse. We're still friends.

[compels]

[ He turns his hand so that he can hold hers, squeezing it. He lets a ghost of a smile find its way to his lips and watches her a moment, then releases her hand and sits back to drain the rest of the blood from his mug, body language indicating that he's over something that he's actually very much not. ]

[luthored]

[ She isn't exactly, either. Saying she's his friend doesn't mean she's forgiven him. It's not like he's even really apologized. His 'versions' don't always count.

But Lana's too tired to fight, and she doesn't want him leaving and doing something they would both regret. Probably her more than him. ]

I'm just going to go to bed. You can sleep on the couch if you like.

[compels]

Will do. I'll keep out of your way. [ He takes the mug to the sink, rinsing it out. He wants her to stay down there with him, but he's already demanded too much of her. So, he won't. He can't. ]

[luthored]

[ It's weirding her out a little how considerate he's being, not that one or two nice moments cancel out horrible decisions. Still, even if she's angry, she has promised that she would help, which practically revolves around positive reinforcement.

But he would know if she stayed out just for that. He'd probably see it as pity, which isn't what she wants at all. So instead she just nods to him and stands, keeping her tone light without being too obvious. ]

Goodnight. Try to keep the volume down if you watch any DVDs.

[ One last glance drifts in his direction as she stands, and Lana leaves the kitchen to head to her room for the night. Still, for some reason, she shuts her door before Shadow can follow after her. Any yips at her door are ignored, but it doesn't take him long to wander back into the living room.

Meaning Damon gets a cuddly fluffy puppy to bother and cuddle him for the rest of the night. Enjoy. ]