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[molotov]

[Happy April, Paradisa! Molotov is aware that it's April Fool's Day, and she's also aware of the stupid weather, but she has a task that just can't wait.]

[Delivered by ghost this morning, to: Ezio Auditore, Hellboy, Dr. Gregory House, Mark Hunter, Kate Kane, Kermit, Mindy Macready, Corporal Maladict, Cross Marian, Princess Nudge, Spike Spiegel, Damian Wayne, Alleria Windrunner, Sylvanas Windrunner, and Veeresa Windrunner.]
[All of you should have previously received a save the date card. Well, now, in an envelope addressed to you "and guest", you've received this:]



[You know, for all your formal invitation wedding needs.

Inside the envelope, there's an RSVP card, mostly because Molotov is pretty big on traditions. You know, like formalities and proper execution methods. The card literally just says to contact her through the journal. Because Molotov is dumb.

Some of your envelopes might also contain a special, handwritten note! These are mostly chastising, such as telling you to dress properly, to be on your best behavior, etc. Because Molotov is also a bitch.]

[Molotov is actually out in this terrible weather, taking care of her poor bears, making sure they're happy. Once that's done, she just holes up in the reserve's office with Mishka, reading and waiting for the rain to break.]

[ OOC: Open to anyone who might be out in that weather, for whatever reason. TO THE WEDDING INVITEES: feel free to apply whatever bitchy little note might work best for your character, if they got one. Also, the invitations went out regardless of how she feels about each particular person, so you might get attitude when you RSVP >:3 ]

Comments

Dr. House

[atrophied]

Here? The common cold is uncommon. With so many people from different times and places gathered, you'd think disease would be rampant. Healthiest place I have ever seen.

[ He just wants a plague. One plague. Is that so much to ask for? ]

Dr. House

[molotov]

I believe that might be partially due to the presence of people who can magically cure anything.

Molotov

[atrophied]

Someone ought to shoot those people.

Dr. House

[molotov]

They can heal themselves. And I do not know if many of them are left. But if that is your favor, I would be happy to oblige.

Molotov

[atrophied]

[ He smiles. This is why he's going to dress nice and go to a wedding. Because you're awesome. ]

Nah. I don't want to waste it just yet. I have a feeling I might need it later.

Dr. House

[molotov]

[I know, right? It's a wonder that more people aren't clamoring for her attention.]

Enemies? Or is there someone you hate from home who is yet to show up?

Molotov

[atrophied]

Nosy neighbors.

Dr. House

[molotov]

Have you considered not giving them anything to be nosy about?

Molotov

[atrophied]

I've even stopped sneaking hookers into my room, ma.

Dr. House

[molotov]

The key is to give them a new name as you walk them in the front door. So, instead of "Cristal" or "Bubbles", try "Jane" or "Mary".

And keep a nice ladies' coat on-hand. People judge a girl when they can see her labia.

Molotov

[atrophied]

[ He snorts back a laugh. ]

Dr. House

[molotov]

If your neighbors continue their nosiness, try breaking into their rooms and sprinkling arsenic on their toothbrushes. That should take care of anyone who is particularly stubborn.

Now, look at that, problem solved.

Molotov

[atrophied]

You must have been at the top of your class.

Dr. House

[molotov]

I have never tolerated anything less. That was why I quit gymnastics after I placed fifth.