paradisa | (no subject)

[Hey Paradisa, know what isn't the greatest thing to wake up to? A temp loss, especially when it's your first.

Know what's worse? When it appears you've woken up to find you look and sound exactly like someone you know ~~quite well~~ the point is it's a pretty troubling experience.

So naturally Eridan is going to spend quite some time quietly freaking the fuck out in is room. Eventually though he's going to have to ask someone about this.

But god knows all of those idiots who claim it's magic are going to jump at this, since there is no way in hell he could deny this is some kind of nonsensical magic bullshit.

So gotta be very, very careful about this.

LOT OF WRITING TO DO cause dictating is weird and as of now not something he wants to do]

[His writing is a little hurried, and sloppy, but damnit answers now people!!!]

yeah so knoww wwhen this castle fucks wwith you somehoww
like someone i knoww wwoke up the other day as a fuckin hoofbeast an apparently it wwont last too long that kinda thing
yeah howw the fuck does this actually happen howw long does it last howw
wwell
basically wwhat the fuck is goin on

[Yep always gonna run off to you for answers.]

okay heres the thing
need you in my room like right noww there is no time to wwaste
an i get youre gonna be all oh eridan wwhat the fuck is the matter
an youre bein considerate an thats real nice a you an all but dont just savve it
wwe can discuss it once you get here but right noww there is definitely somethin the matter an i havve no idea wwhat the fuck to do
the door is open so just come in dont evven knock

[As for everyone else...]

to evveryone wwho wwas thinkin a comin anywwhere near me today dont
all a you fuck off
im really busy and interruptions are not wwhat i need right noww

[IT'S PERFECT. NOT CONSPICUOUS AT ALL!]

[ooc: Temp loss between Eridan and Feferi! They're gonna swap bodies starting today, the 18th, for a full week. Hope this is...y'know okay loss wise or whatever if I've screwed up somehow I'll just...delete this.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Unfortunately, I have yet to fully develop a fully comprehensible explanation.

wwell fuck isnt thats helpful
if people get wword a this theyre gonna fuckin assault me wwith claims that this is magic an force me to admit its real
an at this point its lookin like i might havve to cause this is pretty damn unexplainable
dont suppose you havve any idea wwhat i could say at least to avvoid havvin to admit somethin as nonsensical as magic is real do you

Would you have preferred a lack of response? I very easily could have ignored your request. At the very least, I can tell you that the... experiences here tend not to be permanent and are, on average, usually relatively brief.

It would help to know what exactly it is you are experiencing in order to better answer your last question.

OH NO, WHAT EVER WILL I DO!!
ERIDAN IS BUSY TODAY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF IN THIS TIME OF CRISIS!
I'M SURE YOU HAD A LOT OF VERY IMPORTANT VISITORS LINED UP WHO'VE JUST HAD THEIR DREAMS CRUSHED
WHAT WITH HOW YOU'RE A SPARKLING EXAMPLE OF OUR SPECIES AND ALL.

ok ok look

[Damn, she's got a point. You really do need help despite the fact you hate admitting it.

Even to yourself.]

guess im just stressin out a little ovver this
ill cut the fuckin attitude an wwhatevver an just
yeah
anywway i kinda dont wwant to say
but i wwill if for the time bein you just keep this betwween us

yep
thats pretty much wwhat i fuckin said
so unless you havve anythin wworth my time this convversation is ovver kar got it

THAT WAS ME PATRONIZING YOU, SHITHEAD.
IT ISN'T AS FUN IF I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT I'M MAKING FUN OF YOU.

kar i honestly couldnt care
i actually do not havve the proper mentality right noww to evven argue wwith you
as flatterin as your hatred for me is i honestly cant find the necessary levvels a anger an bitterness i usually havve in situations like this to vverbally spar wwith you
or anyone for that matter
my mind is elsewwhere
wwe can get back to the norm once im done wwith this if thats wwhat you wwant

[Now that's a feeling Brennan can relate to.]

There is no reason to concern anyone else.

okay
basically theres this girl i knoww
wwell i dont but apparently i do i forgot about her wwhen i came into the castle or somethin
anywway point is i wwoke up this mornin an i am noww her
in evvery single fuckin wway
wwell aside the fact im still me in regards to thought processes an stuff

JEGUS, ERIDAN.
I DON'T
JUST
NO, WHATEVER.
DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT, WE'LL TALK LATER.

Going on? Has something happened to you, Ampora?

If so, allow me to foally enjoy the irony of the situation.

Ha.

Ha ha.

You switched bodies. That's... fascinating.

It is also a phenomenon that I do believe has occurred here before, and more than once.

[FUCK. YOU COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS JACKASS WHILE FILTERING.

FDBFI;BSBGFIS;PBFSA;Io

Naturally Eridan is just a little annoyed by that fact.]

except you
anyone but you your opinion isnt fuckin wwanted here
get the fuck out i couldnt givve twwo shits wwhat you think about this

its a lot less fascinatin on my end to be honest
wwere this happenin to someone else id be curious about it too i dont blame you
but for noww i just need a wway to covver this so i can make them shut the fuck up about nonsensical fairy curses or wwhatevver the fuck they think is at wwork here

That is fine by me. I merely wished to express my delight in your apparent unfortunate situation due to your unnecessary input on my own very fortunate situation.

So again.

Ha.

I shall round up any and all answers I may have for you and trot my leave.

oh my cod seriously
i honestly
just
eq
shut your fuckin mouth an leavve as if id wwant answwers from someone wwho is partially wwillin to believve this may or may not be magic anywway
wwhy the fuck are you evven able to see this
in fact wwhy the fuck are you evven able to read youre nothin but a lowwly beast as a noww get the fuck out a the castle an livve amongst your precious fauna wwhy dont you

[Whoa whoa whoa, he WAS going to leave until that comment about being a 'lowly beast'.]

[A rather angry huff.]

Look.

It is not as though I care about your opinion-- as a highblood you are allowed to have it, as a sea dweller, I am allowed to not care-- it is merely that your opinion is wrong and I humbling myself to try and correct you, despite my extreme distaste for your person.

So instead of taking my exit, I will stay to say this,

since you have never been a hoofbeast, you cannot know what it is like to be one, nor can you know much about their intelligence level, especially since I am not just a hoofbeast, but an alien form of hoofbeast. It would be in your best interest to discontinue any further slander of my person or current race.

It makes you look like a complete fool.

[Naturally Eridan reads all of this as BLUH BLUH I'M A TOOL WHO LIKES HORSES.]

Pfft, like I even ca-

[Shit, better just hope he...didn't hear that. You were speaking quietly to yourself anyway, there's always the chance you can get rid of him if you pretend to concede.]

fine
oh thank you so much for showwin me the error a my wways eq im truly in your debt blah blah hoofbeasts are fantastical
can you fuck off noww

What?

[Sorry he heard you.]

Princess?

[shitshitshit]

wwhat the fuck are you talkin about

[...]

Speak again.

again implies i said somethin in the first place
wwhich i didnt
therefore howw about no
youre probably hearin things or somethin

I assume you are currently in the company of the Empress to be then. Since I very much heard her.

But that also cannot be true, she would speak if asked.

[Pauses for a moment, thinking.]

I will assume the voice change has something to do with your current problem whatever that may be. Interesting.

Right then, I shall take my leave.

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the don't-believe-in-magic filter; dictated

written forever

dictated forever!

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filter

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Re: filter within a filter FILTERCEPTION

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Dictated.

filtered like crazy then!

written forever

crazy filtered filter which is filtered to filter the filter

Writing is hard when you're a hoofbeast, dictated forever.

eridan would dictate back if it weren't for everything ever

Poor, lonely sap.

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