paradisa | blog one-oh-seven - the return of the triumvirate

Entry tags:

blog one-oh-seven - the return of the triumvirate

[ahhh, a beautiful spring morning. straight out of a fairy tale - at least, that's the sort of thing Barney would think if he ever even thought about things in terms of fairy tales. instead, he just thinks life's pretty awesome. his pillow ended up in just the right spot, he's got that perfect blanket configuration, and somehow his arm's around someone warm and soft. he doesn't remember picking anyone up last night, but considering the Nature of Booze, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

... except he doesn't remember drinking, for once, either. cautiously, he opens one eye, expecting a total stranger in usual Castle Messing With Stinson fashion. imagine his surprise when it's someone he knows. well, you don't have to imagine it, you can pretty much hear it:]

Faye?!

[the response, however, is decidedly NOT Faye's, as she opens her eyes and sort of dead-eye stares at him in the sort of way that practically screams "it figures".] What the fuck are you doing....oh, bollocks. What is happening NOW?

Wait -- WHAT?! [that voice, though? that's definitely Faye.]

[Barney sits up, recoiling - not necessarily from shock, as he's a veteran of Crowley Possession - but more because being snuggled up to your best friend in your best friend's girlfriend's body isn't necessarily the best situation to put yourself in first thing in the morning.

and that's when he notices the dress he's wearing.

AND SCREAMS.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Crowley, meanwhile, is hovering between Wanting to Die and Wanting to Mock. It's a horrible position to be in. He looks down and...yep. Yep those are definitely Faye's boobs. More covered up than he's used to seeing them, but still]

This is not happening. This is not happening.

[Then he notices the dress]

...What have you guys even been doing?

[and then Faye just kind of SCREAMS and clamps her hands over her mouth!

and yes, she is totally glaring at Barney like this madness is all his fault. Because if she wakes up somewhere she shouldn't, and people are wearing things they shouldn't be, and nothing in the world makes sense, it's usually his fault.]

[wait what when was anything like that ever honestly his fault, Faye, name ONE TIME. one. Barney scrambles back so far that he nearly -- no, wait, yep -- he legitimately FALLS OFF the bed.]

Ow.

We-- wh -- thgh--

[he forces himself to breathe] We haven't been doing ANYTHING! Tell him, Faye, tell him we haven't been doing anything.

[in the meantime, he's lifting his arms to get a decent look at the monstrosity he's ended up in. it's a dress. it's a suit. it's a suit dress. the top fits like a jacket, and that's fine - he can deal with the top, it's even got pinstripes. it's the fact that it hugs his legs until about his knees, then flares out into a fantastically beautiful full skirt with panels and darts of complementary colors. that's the part he can't get behind.

even if he does have nice calves.]

[Crowley crosses Faye's arms and arches a brow]

Really. Because it looks to me like some sort of kinky and...a little creepy antics have been going on here.

I didn't even know you were the type, Barney.

Shut up! [--she yells at herself]

[and then takes a breath because... yeah that's weird and makes her feel even more crazy than she's already feeling.]

What the hell is going on here? Tell who?

[even though she's already got a pretty good idea of what the answer to that is... it's just too insane to consider as an actual possibility right now. ...also goes to show how much she'd been paying attention to the journal lately]

Uhhhh, your boyfriend. Who's kind of right here. Tell him. [he gets to his feet, making faces at his ridiculous skirt, and wanders over to his closet]

While you're explaining, he can tell you all about the thing he's apparently going through round two of, and I'll just pick out a nice new suit to change int-AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

[guess who just opened his wardrobe to discover it's full of suit-dresses. just guess.]

[Crowley takes a deep, calming breath, which his not as deep nor as calming as he hoped]

Did both of you miss the fact I was body hopping? I've been at it for eight days now, people.

Or maybe you've been too busy doing your kinky princess dressup thing.

What do you mean body hopping?? Are you...

[yeah, no, she can't even get herself to say it. She's also getting up now and scrambling out of bed, as if she can get away from invisible Crowley that way.

Suddenly, Barney and his dresstravaganza seems like a much easier topic to handle.]

And I had nothing to do with... that. [gesturing at Barney and the closet]

Yeah, I noticed. Whatever. As long as it wasn't me again. [which is bro talk for "I didn't want to add to your embarrassment", clearly. they're fluent in it by now]

But since you've been so busy getting to know other people a hell of a lot more than you probably wanted? You should know, this is totally new. Like ... less than five minutes new. I went to sleep in my suit pajamas and woke up in -- in ...

[he gives it another, closer look]

Well, at least it's good linen. And bespoke. ... It honestly fits really nice. [an appreciative waggle of his eyebrows, and --]

♪ It suits me just fi-i-ine ... ♪

[freezes]

What.

Was that.

[Faye stop moving this is hard enough to deal with. He waves her arms a little in annoyance ] You're not going to get rid of me, I'm stuck here.

[And because he loves them both so much, this is enough] Well, Barney, you look like the fucking bubblegum princess.

...

And you're also singing. Okay. Normally I'd have something harsh and mocking to say but I'm rather disorientated right now.

[gfdjk she folds her previously-flailing arms tight across her chest!] --Stop that! You could at least keep quiet if you're going to trespass like this!

[and then to Barney] ...And I don't even know what to say about you. Good luck with whatever it is, though.

[yeah no, turning to head toward the door now]

[Barney looks between the two of them] What if we're all stuck here, like Valentine's Day? Then what the heck are we gonna do?

[and then he blinked and his hair grew about an inch.]

Is there a reset button for this day?

No. Make me shut up. Go on, I dare you to try. And if we're stuck here Valentines day...well, you're going to have to learn to close your eyes a lot.

[He pauses Faye's storm out to glance over her shoulder to see what Barney's doing]

...The fuck is happening to your head?

[seconding herself, since she can't make... herself... shut up--] Your hair!

[arms flail up in frustration] What the hell is going on around here??

My hair? Nothing, my hair's fine -- [but then he puts a hand up to it, reflexively, and feels that it very much is NOT.

yep. shrieking like a girl again]

This is worse than that -- that -- that thing with the meteor shower and the -- stuff we don't talk about.

...Oh that stuff. [He trails off for a moment, before shaking Faye's head]

So...now you have a dress and extensions. And Faye is dressed in something close to what a normal person would wear.

We're going to have to call this a very weird day.

I'm-- [oh hey, finally glancing down at herself and noticing that she's dressed in a somewhat more sensible outfit than her usual. And now it's her turn to shriek a little bit]

--Hey!!

[not that it wasn't a cute outfit or anything. but it's the principle of the thing]

Trade you. [Barney makes a face and rolls his eyes] If we even can. I'd even hold on to Crowley for you, we've totally done it before.

[beat]

The possession thing. Not ... what that sounds like.

['Faye' is giving you a golf clap now, Barney]

Oh well done, master of stealth.

[yeah thanks for that mental image, guys.]

Oh, I wouldn't want to deprive you of that lovely outfit of yours.

...But if you know how to get this guy out of my head, I'm all ears.

... Okay, the material's nice, I will give it that. But I'd like it better with pants. ... And I think you have to wait until midnight. Kind of like Cinderella, only you lose a demon instead of a shoe.

Isn't it beautiful and magical, Faye? Don't you feel so special?

Shut up. [--again, to herself. ugh.]

Yes, this is all so magical and wondrous, I feel like I'm about to puke glitter.

[now continuing her hopeful exit, heading toward the door again]

And as enchanting as this all is, I'm going to go wait for midnight in my own room.

But Faye, aren't you gonna wait for the talking animals to show up?

[OH WAIT, MAGIC WORDS. he knows magic words!]

I have bourbon.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

blog one-oh-seven - the return of the triumvirate

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject