paradisa | nineteen meatbuns -dictated-

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son goku

nineteen meatbuns -dictated-

[With all this fairy tail stuff going on, the only thing Goku got out of it was;]

I thought a Golden Egg was where babies came from. Like, when two people love each other real much an' they stay a real long time together, a Golden Egg falls from Heaven an' there's a baby in it.

That's what Ten-chan's story book said.

[Pause]

There's a lotta kids in the Castle. D'ya all wanna play some time? Ken said we could play soccer, an' I would like t'know what that is.

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Um. That's... not exactly how it works... at least, not in other worlds.

It doesn't?

[Naturally, the follow-up question is...]

Where do babies come from, then?

[There's a choking noise as she nearly spits soda all over the journal]

How do... Uh... Goku, I'm really not sure if I should be telling you about all that...

...why not? Is it scary?

Well, no... but... it's just... [sigh] Not something I ever thought I'd be explaining to a kid.

[He is so confused.]

Is it one of the things yer not supposed t'tell kids? Like bad words?

No. It's just... uh... [sigh]

Alright. Let me see if I can do this. Um. So, you know how you were born from a rock? That's not how it happens on my world... and most worlds, probably.

It starts when a man and a woman love each other very much... [She pauses, facepalming] Oh god I don't know if I can do this...

...ya don't have ta, Nora.

[Goku sounds a bit worried.]

[She gives half a thought to stopping right there and walking away. But... if Goku were to ask Geoff or someone else... oh man what would they tell this poor kid. Or god forbid he ask MARK. He'd probably have a stroke and keel over.]

No... no you asked. And I think that it'd probably be better coming from me than some of the other people here that you could ask.

[oh god oh god oh god oh god what is she doing what is this what is her liiiiiiiiife?!]

So, uh, yeah, a man and woman love each other very much and decide they want to have a baby... or are just stupid and don't do anything to keep it from happening... [ahem] they, uh, have sex... [AAAAAAAAWHYYYYYYYYY Yeah moving RIGHT along in the hopes that he doesn't ask her to explain what sex is.] The woman gets pregnant and the baby grows inside her for 9 months before she gives birth.

[Oh god please let that be it.]

[...so effing confused, you have no idea.]

She swallows a baby?

[She FACEPALMS]

No, no. Um. Something from the daddy and something from the mommy come together inside her and the baby grows from that. It doesn't just appear or show up. It grows until it's big enough to live outside its mother. A lot of animals have babies the same way.