paradisa | four tests | backdated to Clint's arrival because lol hiatus

[She's just gotten in from taking Chase for a walk and she replies with a touch of concern.]

Of course. I'm at my house, if you want to stop by.

[He'll just nod at the journal.] I'm on my way. [The next she will hear from him will be a soft knock on the door. Steve will be doing his best impression of a kicked puppy whenever she opens up.]

[She goes to the door and frowns when she sees him. Did he run out of optimistic?]

Wow. That's serious. C'mon in. [Chase (the dog) will be trying to sniff at Steve's feet.]

[He will never run out. He's just lower than usual on it! Anyways Steve will give Chase (the dog) a quick pet before heading inside. He'll look a little apologetic on top of the kicked puppy look. He has a lot of feelings, okay?]

I don't want to be any trouble.

Steve, you're never any trouble. [She'll head upstairs to her front room.]

Do you want anything? I can get you some water, something stronger.... and a lot of it?

[Steve will be following after her.] I'll take the last one. I think I'm gonna to need it for this.

I can do that. [She'll go to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle and two glasses. She'll pour and hand him one of them.]

What's on your mind?

[Steve will take a seat and hold onto that drink for a minute before taking a deep breath. Might as well dive into it.]

I'm having problems with Bucky again and someone else claiming to be from my future arrived today.

[He's going to start drinking now.] What he told me... [He shakes his head.] It was worse than Bucky's story. I don't know what to do about any of it.

[Other than finish this glass in record time.]

[She takes note of the quick drinking, but doesn't refill him just yet.]

Well, start wherever you want to. I'm not gonna judge, Steve. You're still Steve, no matter what goes on ahead of you or behind you.

[No refills, huh? Okay he can just talk.] Bucky went on a loss that made him tell the truth. He said some awful stuff. It wasn't his fault that he felt that way, but... I shouldn't have asked him anything. I just wanted us to go back to how we were. There's always something between us here and it's not supposed to be that way.

[He exhales unsteadily. That's been nagging at him forever. It feels good to say it.]

The person who's supposed to be from my future, Agent Barton, he told me I'm going to be buried alive in ice for seventy years. I didn't get all the details, but I know I get fished out and now we're fighting someone called Loki together with some other people. He's leveling New York with the weapon from Bucky's story.

[Steve looks overwhelmed momentarily.] That can't be true, can it? That can't be how it goes after Bucky... It doesn't sound real, but if it is... what he did will be for nothing.

[Because how could he possibly have a happy life after that? His neighborhood in ruins and everyone he knows would have to be dead by then. There's nothing for him.]

[OKAY. Filling that glass now and moving to sit next to him.]

Seventy years is a big gap to fill. Are you sure he was right?

[He is back to drinking. Steve is pretty desperate to take the edge off.]

I couldn't ask, Jo. [Or more accurately he wouldn't.] He seemed like an honest man to me; treated me like I was his friend. But none of this adds up. How could I live that long? Shouldn't the cold kill me like it would anyone else? How was I even in good enough shape to fight someone who could level New York?

[He frowns.] He didn't act surprised to see me like this either. Shouldn't I look different after all that time?

[Jo wishes she had the answers for him, but all she has are more questions. She tries to focus on what she knows.]

The treatment you agreed to. Do you know what it was going to do? Other than make you ... like this? I'm not saying you shouldn't have done it, but what all do you know about what they did?

[Something clicks in his brain. He can see where she may be going with this.]

... Not much to be honest. Dr. Erskine told me that the serum would make my cells form a protective cycle of regeneration and healing. I just figured it's been keeping me from getting sick.

There are a few people here that have had that - the regenerative thing. They don't age. At least they seemed to believe that they wouldn't age. That could explain it. That you're so healthy and your cells keep regenerating that you're... sort of not going to get older.

[He's going to silently stare at her for a minute.] I know this is going to sound funny, but I want to be able to do that; grow old. I want to be able to look back someday, know that I've done enough, and just go.

[Finishing that drink now because wow this is heavy stuff.] If I can't have that I guess it'll be enough to keep fighting until something makes me stop. It's how my father went.

[Oh, Steve...]

Sweetie, it doesn't sound funny, it sounds honest and like something we all want. [Jo won't mention how she doesn't get that either, because this is about Steve, but she understands the sentiment.]

You'll still have that, Steve. Even if you don't grey or get wrinkles, you're still going to be able to look back and see what you've done.

[She takes a moment, and a swallow of her drink, before she continues.]

I've known you for a while, Steve, maybe not as well as others, but I would like think that that you're this way, that you're not going to age because you're never going to want to stop doing this. You wanted it for so long and you went through so much to get there. I don't think you'd give that up when it was enough.

[That finally earns a smile because that is something he can make sense of in a story about magic weapons, being frozen alive, and fighting a bad guy well on his way to destroying his home. It helps focusing on his need to not only help others, but to prove he is capable of doing so.]

I think you're wrong about that, Jo. I think you do know me that well; maybe better than them. When you put it like that it sounds more than doable. It sounds like something I'd want.

I just see all you've done, what you've gone through to be able to help and I think ... actually I know that someone is always going to need a hero and if that means it takes you taking an ice nap, just so that you're around to be there or someone like me?

I'd take it. Plus, you sleep right through the eighties. No one wanted that much neon clothing. No one.

Well lucky for you I don't need to take an ice nap to be there if you needed me to. [He makes a face because he just caught that reference.]

Neon clothing?

[She smiles at him.] Yes, very lucky for me.

[There's a pause with the neon clothing.] It was a bright era. I'll find a movie from there one day. We can watch it. Actually, we should watch a lot of movies.

I wouldn't mind watching some movies. It's been a while. I think the last time I did it Tomoe was still here.

Are you gonna be alright? [She'll still worry a bit.]

I think so. Things are okay here. [Except for the fact his relationship with Bucky is all over the place, but whatever. Jo isn't getting paid to deal with all this.]

[She's a bartender. It comes with the job description.]

Steve, you know you can talk to me about anything. I'm not a mind-reader, so actual words have to be said out loud, though.

filter → forever

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject