00110110 [six] [dictated]

[tres_iqus]

...a toaster in the kitchen refers to me as 'daddy'. Requesting suggested course of action.

[Yes. That is all.]

Comments

Dictated

[zeke_developer]

[Please give Huey a moment while he tries, and fails to suppress a laugh. A smaller, much cuter laugh that sounds much like the first soon follows.]

Sounds like...heh...sounds like that castle's given you a child, Father Tres. I've got one too. Hal? Say hello to daddy's friend Tres.

[Hal can't actually talk, so have some baby babbling instead.]

But...a toaster? I almost wanna come down and see this for myself.

Dictated

[tres_iqus]

From the entries in the journals, I understand that it is a castle-generated malfunction. You have a child as well?

[There's a sound in the background... it sounds like someone's toast is ready!]

It appears to be a very intelligent toaster.

[The amount of linefacing he's doing right now, dear god.]

Any attempts to unplug it has been met with resistance.

[spongetastic]

[a young female voice comes out over the journal]

Give it a name!

[alaspooryork]

Is it sentient?

[Someone's been cursed with his iPod baby for a few years, now.]

... esther & tres best papa mama combo?

[starhipped]

Are you sure it's at toaster, Father Tres?! Lots of people have been receiving children!

[tres_iqus]

It has a brand name.

[tres_iqus]

Affirmative.

...it is scientifically impossible for a toaster to have AI or communicate without speakers.

[Why a toaster of all things? A cell phone or something useful would have been better, but Tres wasn't aware of the nickname he got the last time he was in the castle...]

You know it XD

[tres_iqus]

It makes toasted bread, Sister Blanchett. Repeatedly.

the best!

[starhipped]

It doesn't .. u-um. Excrete .. anything?

[You know. Like poop. Baby poop.]

[tres_iqus]

Crumbs.

[alaspooryork]

It is scientifically impossible for an AI to reproduce at all, and yet the castle has seen fit to provide us with children.

[Delta feels your pain, robo-bro. He's a Microsoft product. Why is his child an Apple product?]

[starhipped]

W-Wow! I've never heard of that before--!

[please, esther. continue stating the obvious.]

I guess it would be cruel to leave it...

[tres_iqus]

[Technically he's got DNA waaaaay back in his head, but that's beside the point.]

You have castle-produced offspring as well?

[Hell, he'd be proud if it was a gun...

...and dude, that is a terrible, terrible thing. You sure his mom didn't cheat on you with an iPhone?]

[tres_iqus]

I am currently calculating the possibilities of unplugging it and dismantling it.

[spongetastic]

Ohhh. That's a good start!

Mary, what'd I tell you about the journal? Sorry about that, Father Tres.

[starhipped]

B-But that would be killing it!

[tres_iqus]

Peter Petrelli. It appears that most residents have produced offspring.

[He kind of thought he was exempt from that rule =/ ]

[tres_iqus]

Sister Esther. It is a toaster.

[alaspooryork]

[His mom is GLaDOS. Anything is possible.]

I do. Despite repeated attempts to remove him from any form of mobility, he is still a handful.

I HEARD THAT.

[...Oh snap. Gary's in town.]

[spongetastic]

Yeah, seems so. Oh, Father Tres. That was my daughter Mary.

Hello, Father Tres! Nice to meet you!

[tres_iqus]

[...poor world.]

Approximate age range?

[It speaks, at least. Toaster-child mostly said 'daddy' and made loud sounds that could (with some imagination) resemble a human child's distress call.]

[tres_iqus]

Pleased to meet you, ms. Mary.

[What? He's perfectly polite to children. Not toasters.]

[starhipped]

But it's a toaster that's alive! Doesn't that give it sanctity of life?

[spongetastic]

[she lets out a happy giggle]

I think you made a new friend.

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

[Dairine can't help but laugh a little at that. Oh Paradisa, how you remind her of home sometimes...]

You could ask it what it wants.