00110110 [six] [dictated]

[tres_iqus]

...a toaster in the kitchen refers to me as 'daddy'. Requesting suggested course of action.

[Yes. That is all.]

Comments

Dictated

[zeke_developer]

[Please give Huey a moment while he tries, and fails to suppress a laugh. A smaller, much cuter laugh that sounds much like the first soon follows.]

Sounds like...heh...sounds like that castle's given you a child, Father Tres. I've got one too. Hal? Say hello to daddy's friend Tres.

[Hal can't actually talk, so have some baby babbling instead.]

But...a toaster? I almost wanna come down and see this for myself.

Dictated

[tres_iqus]

From the entries in the journals, I understand that it is a castle-generated malfunction. You have a child as well?

[There's a sound in the background... it sounds like someone's toast is ready!]

It appears to be a very intelligent toaster.

[The amount of linefacing he's doing right now, dear god.]

Any attempts to unplug it has been met with resistance.

Dictated

[zeke_developer]

That's....a really accurate way to put it, actually. And I do, yup. His name's Hal.

[He heard that, and it makes him laugh again.]

Yup, I've definitely gotta come down and see this for myself. I'm assuming you're down in the kitchen?

[spongetastic]

[a young female voice comes out over the journal]

Give it a name!

[tres_iqus]

It has a brand name.

[spongetastic]

Ohhh. That's a good start!

Mary, what'd I tell you about the journal? Sorry about that, Father Tres.

[alaspooryork]

Is it sentient?

[Someone's been cursed with his iPod baby for a few years, now.]

[tres_iqus]

Affirmative.

...it is scientifically impossible for a toaster to have AI or communicate without speakers.

[Why a toaster of all things? A cell phone or something useful would have been better, but Tres wasn't aware of the nickname he got the last time he was in the castle...]

[alaspooryork]

It is scientifically impossible for an AI to reproduce at all, and yet the castle has seen fit to provide us with children.

[Delta feels your pain, robo-bro. He's a Microsoft product. Why is his child an Apple product?]

... esther & tres best papa mama combo?

[starhipped]

Are you sure it's at toaster, Father Tres?! Lots of people have been receiving children!

You know it XD

[tres_iqus]

It makes toasted bread, Sister Blanchett. Repeatedly.

the best!

[starhipped]

It doesn't .. u-um. Excrete .. anything?

[You know. Like poop. Baby poop.]

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

[Dairine can't help but laugh a little at that. Oh Paradisa, how you remind her of home sometimes...]

You could ask it what it wants.

[tres_iqus]

Toast.

[Deadpan.]

[shepherdsveritas]

Th'fuckin' toaster?

[Excuse his language, father, you surprised the poor boy.]

[tres_iqus]

Affirmative.

[shepherdsveritas]

[He pauses. Oh the things that are running through his mind right now. Things that should not, under any circumstances, be said to a priest. ... even a robot one. After a long moment he clears his throat]

How'd y'manage that, I wonder?

[thehistorian]

... I'm sorry, a-- a toaster?

[tres_iqus]

Positive.

[ironlady]

[Oh God what are their lives....] I would recommend keeping it from being harmed in any way.

[tres_iqus]

[Be happy he didn't have to have a mental breakdown over their supposed offspring from last time, Duchess.]

Affirmative. However, it is confined to the kitchen unless another power source can be produced. It refuses to allow me to unplug it.

[cantacquityou]

[Snort.]

A toaster?

[tres_iqus]

Positive.

[spiritusaequitas]

Oi, they'll make appliances do anythin' these days, won't they, Father. [he laughs]

[tres_iqus]

Positive.

[lol no humor.]