twenty-fourth twist of the coil

[vampirize]

So, it's that time of the year, again, isn't it?

[Guess who sounds like the smuggest person in the castle right now? Odd, considering everyone seems to be using the journal to complain about their new children and what to do with them.]

[Not Tesla.]

Really, just watching you all try to survive with your offspring clutched to you like flies on fly paper is just hilarious. Completely hilarious.

I have to say, Paradisa, this is one of the few times I'm happy with you. I didn't need a kid and the castle didn't give me one- how great is that? While the rest of you have to suffer, I can just sit back and not worry about a brat who thinks I'm "daddy" following me wherever I go.

Now, don't mind me, I'm just going to sit back in my very kidless room and just soak all of this in as the wonderful week it is.

[NIKOLA TESLA IS THE BIGGEST JERK THOUGH EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW THAT, NEWS AT ELEVEN]

Comments

[mal_addict]

[This is the BEST week]

I still say we should send a box of loud, obnoxious toys to every single person who clutters up the journals with all their baby talk. It may come as a shock to them, but I really don't care if little Mitzy or Verruca or whatever managed to say a single word. They really don't have to share.

[vampirize]

[An amused huff.]

Maladict, you're a girl after my own heart. You think of the most wonderful ideas.

[mal_addict]

Thank you, I do try. I do it for the mental wellbeing of everyone, really. I'm a giver like that.

[vampirize]

I'm sure you are.

So, how's life on the kidless side of things? Peaceful?

[mal_addict]

You know, it's wonderfully peaceful, going to sleep at night without the screaming of a small child.

[Pause. Smiiiiiiirk] Or the mewling of kittens.

[vampirize]

Right, right, I could go without both of those, quite honestly.

...What do kittens have to do with it, though?

[mal_addict]

[Oh, he didn't know? Now she sounds so very wicked. It's that tone she has when she's stumbled on something that amuses her, but causes misery towards others]

Well, our dear friends James and Helen had a litter.

[vampirize]

[For the longest time, there is just shocked silence.]

...

What.

[mal_addict]

They had kittens. Literally.

[vampirize]

What has nature done?!

No, but seriously, are they cats now, or...?

[mal_addict]

Horrible things, Nikola. Horrible, hilarious things.

Helen's a cat, James is still...well, James.

[thehistorian]

I want you to know that I don't even know your name, and I despise you.

[vampirize]

[A laugh.]

Good for you, then. Do you want a medal to go with that despising of yours, or what?

Not like I care, either way.

[thehistorian]

It's a personal sort of hatred, really. Deep down jealousy and envy, really gets the blood going.

A medal would be lovely. It might help distract the child.

[vampirize]

Ooh, how poetic, really.

I'll plan on sending you one right away. Who knew your kid was a magpie?

[thehistorian]

All children are magpies. It's why they're children, their brains have about six cells to rub together and a solid half of them are devoted to finding shiny things.

[longaevus]

[ There is a cat eye rolling at the journal like only Helen could ]

[vampirize]

[Leave him be to his trolling, Helen. It's serious business. >:I]

[longaevus]

[ Oh she knows, and she's only leaving him be because she can't exactly protest now ]