it resulted in seventeen blackouts

[notjamesbond]

[There's the sound of shuffling, as if someone is walking around and not caring much about how loud he is sounding over the journal.]

It's got to be around here somewhere...

[The voice is of one (1) Newton Pulsifer who just happens to be looking for the second part to his Christmas gift. He had misplaced the first part, a key with a small note as to the location of its lock, in his disorganized room a while, and had only just found it after tripping over his stack of books about computers. Time to set things straight, once and for all. He turns the corner, and there's a pause, before:]

Oh! Dick Turpin! It's...Dick Turpin.

[The tone of his voice sounds exactly like the one referred for a really old friend you haven't seen in a while, until you remember that that old friend was the same one who nobody else gets and who constantly humiliates you in public with their existence because they're just that weird.]

Well, you don't look too bad for being out here for a couple months...

[There's another pause, and then an entirely different voice, smooth and sounding a tad bit artificial, speaks up.]

Rain patters the ground
Cleansing away small sorrows
Time for a quick wash.

[Newt can't help but let out a wry laugh.] You haven't changed at all, have you?

[ooc: And so, Newt has been reunited with his car, Dick Turpin, from back home. It recites haikus. We are not joking here.]

Comments

[onlyanapple]

[Oh bollocks NO]

Please don't tell me that thing followed you here?

[waterproofed]

[dear gods and he thought Apollo's poetry was bad]

... At least it has the right number of syllables.

[notjamesbond]

Afraid that it will take the mojo off your Bentley or something, Crowley?

[You can almost hear him rolling his eyes over here.]

Yes, it's my Christmas gift. Take it up with the castle if you hate it so much.

[notjamesbond]

Well, it just started spouting haikus after the Apocalypse, so honestly I'm getting used to it too.

At least it runs better than before...

[waterproofed]

Isn't the Apocalypse the end of the world? So how can there be anything "after" the end of the world?

[notjamesbond]

Well, because it was rather like the Apocalypse That Didn't. Basically, it was supposed to end, and all the big supernatural creatures came out to play, there was something about children and horsepeople, I stopped a nuclear station from blowing up, and then something really big started happening and then it just stopped.

...

It's complicated.

[waterproofed]

Uh. Horsepeople? You mean like centaurs?

[notjamesbond]

No, like Horsepersons of the Apocalypse. Except in this case they rode motorcycles. I don't get it either.

[waterproofed]

Uhmm, okay. I'm a little rusty on Judeo-Christian theology, but I'm pretty sure motorcycles weren't mentioned.

[notjamesbond]

Yeah, I think they were trying to be more modern or something? I mean, and you'd think that the world would end in a firey hailstorm or something, but no, it was a nuclear station that was not supposed to be nuclear in the first place.

[waterproofed]

...Weird.

[notjamesbond]

Tell me about it.

[He hasn't even gotten started on the Antichrist and the fact that his profession is a Witchfinder yet.]

[waterproofed]

[yeah that'd be a bit too much for Percy to understand]

So who's Dick Turpin?

[notjamesbond]

He's my car. The make is a Wasabi. Honestly, I've never seen another Wasabi out there for some reason...

[Probably because your car used to suck a lot, Newt.]

[waterproofed]

Huh. Never heard of that model before. ...And I didn't know cars talked outside of movies.

[notjamesbond]

Before the Apocalypse, it didn't talk. Just picked up Radio Pyonyang. And then suddenly after the Apocalypse sort of didn't happen, it began spouting haikus.

It runs a lot better too, actually. It's very odd.

[waterproofed]

Even weirder.

[onlyanapple]

No, but it will make it look less cool. Keep it parked on the other side of the castle. Away from the Bentley.

Besides, it might infect the Bentley with it's stupid bloody haiku thing.

[notjamesbond]

[Crowley, he is not going to stand for this. You will love his car whether you want to or not. He replies, oh so cheerfully:] Oh, sorry, what was that? Park it right next to the Bentley? Will do.

Crowley, are you listening to yourself speak? Cars can't infect other cars.

[notjamesbond]

But all of that Apocalypse stuff has been over for a while now. Guess the castle thought I needed a reminder of it.

[onlyanapple]

...Newt if you park that piece of crap next to my Bentley, I swear I will release a thousand gerbils into your room.

Yes they can.

[waterproofed]

Guess so.

[thwarting]

[That haiku sounded familiar, quite...]

Is that your car, Mr. Pulsifer? Where on Earth did that come from?

[notjamesbond]

If you do that I will take the opportunity to take a look at Bentley and see what I can do to make it better.

...How?

[notjamesbond]

Yes, yes it is! It's my Christmas gift. I honestly misplace the keys to it since then, so...yeah. Just found it sitting out here.