it resulted in seventeen blackouts

[notjamesbond]

[There's the sound of shuffling, as if someone is walking around and not caring much about how loud he is sounding over the journal.]

It's got to be around here somewhere...

[The voice is of one (1) Newton Pulsifer who just happens to be looking for the second part to his Christmas gift. He had misplaced the first part, a key with a small note as to the location of its lock, in his disorganized room a while, and had only just found it after tripping over his stack of books about computers. Time to set things straight, once and for all. He turns the corner, and there's a pause, before:]

Oh! Dick Turpin! It's...Dick Turpin.

[The tone of his voice sounds exactly like the one referred for a really old friend you haven't seen in a while, until you remember that that old friend was the same one who nobody else gets and who constantly humiliates you in public with their existence because they're just that weird.]

Well, you don't look too bad for being out here for a couple months...

[There's another pause, and then an entirely different voice, smooth and sounding a tad bit artificial, speaks up.]

Rain patters the ground
Cleansing away small sorrows
Time for a quick wash.

[Newt can't help but let out a wry laugh.] You haven't changed at all, have you?

[ooc: And so, Newt has been reunited with his car, Dick Turpin, from back home. It recites haikus. We are not joking here.]

Comments

[onlyanapple]

[Oh bollocks NO]

Please don't tell me that thing followed you here?

[notjamesbond]

Afraid that it will take the mojo off your Bentley or something, Crowley?

[You can almost hear him rolling his eyes over here.]

Yes, it's my Christmas gift. Take it up with the castle if you hate it so much.

[onlyanapple]

No, but it will make it look less cool. Keep it parked on the other side of the castle. Away from the Bentley.

Besides, it might infect the Bentley with it's stupid bloody haiku thing.

[notjamesbond]

[Crowley, he is not going to stand for this. You will love his car whether you want to or not. He replies, oh so cheerfully:] Oh, sorry, what was that? Park it right next to the Bentley? Will do.

Crowley, are you listening to yourself speak? Cars can't infect other cars.

[onlyanapple]

...Newt if you park that piece of crap next to my Bentley, I swear I will release a thousand gerbils into your room.

Yes they can.

[notjamesbond]

If you do that I will take the opportunity to take a look at Bentley and see what I can do to make it better.

...How?

[onlyanapple]

[And with that SILENCE. That threat will work until the end of time] Fine, park your stupid car wherever you want to. I don't care.

I don't know, ways. My car's demonic and your car's... I don't know what the fuck your car is but it's not normal. It could happen.

[waterproofed]

[dear gods and he thought Apollo's poetry was bad]

... At least it has the right number of syllables.

[notjamesbond]

Well, it just started spouting haikus after the Apocalypse, so honestly I'm getting used to it too.

At least it runs better than before...

[waterproofed]

Isn't the Apocalypse the end of the world? So how can there be anything "after" the end of the world?

[notjamesbond]

Well, because it was rather like the Apocalypse That Didn't. Basically, it was supposed to end, and all the big supernatural creatures came out to play, there was something about children and horsepeople, I stopped a nuclear station from blowing up, and then something really big started happening and then it just stopped.

...

It's complicated.

[waterproofed]

Uh. Horsepeople? You mean like centaurs?

[notjamesbond]

No, like Horsepersons of the Apocalypse. Except in this case they rode motorcycles. I don't get it either.

[thwarting]

[That haiku sounded familiar, quite...]

Is that your car, Mr. Pulsifer? Where on Earth did that come from?

[notjamesbond]

Yes, yes it is! It's my Christmas gift. I honestly misplace the keys to it since then, so...yeah. Just found it sitting out here.

[thwarting]

Don't you have a hook for them?

[Honestly, what kind of self-respecting person didn't have a hook for their keys?]

[notjamesbond]

My room is disorganized, alright? I'm getting around to cleaning it, and no, I don't have a hook for my keys.

[thwarting]

You really should get one, it will make sure you won't lose them again.

[notjamesbond]

I'll be sure to ask the castle for one. Can't go and lose the keys to Dick Turpin again. That'd be horrible.

[Newt does care for his car, even if it is one of the major reasons he's a laughingstock at work.]

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

[Dairine gives the journal a worried look before piping up.]

What was that?

Dictated

[notjamesbond]

Oh, that was my car! Yeah, it recites haikus. I don't get it either, but at least it's better than Radio Pyongyang.

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

I see. [She sounds surprisingly… not surprised.]

Did it always recite poetry?

Dictated

[notjamesbond]

No, before the Apocalypse, it didn't. Now it does. And it runs a lot better now than it ever did...

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

I'm sorry, before the what now?

Dictated

[notjamesbond]

Before the Apocalypse. You know, end of the world, end of days, people dying from meteors and aliens and god knows what else. That sort of thing.

[NEWT PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE AS IF IT'S AN EVERYDAY EVENT PLEASE]