♅ third

[themistress]

[It's a bit late to be in the kitchen, really. But Mistress is a somewhat nocturnal creature (the night time is the best time for large and elaborate parties, after all), and she gets a little bored when the lobby calms down in the evening.

So tonight, she's decided to explore the kitchen. And though she's from medieval times, it's not the microwave or the refrigerator that's caught her eye. Oh no.]

What are all these foods, exactly? So many of them, in so many layers of wrapping.

[You see, Mistress is used to less-processed food, served with goblets of wine and mead. More modern foods have piqued her curiosity! She's currently sitting on the counter in the kitchen, journal perched in her lap.

Every single piece of processed cheese in the refrigerator has been unwrapped and laid out methodically. Ding-Dongs and Swiss Rolls have been stacked into thoughtful pyramids, with swords stuck through them. There's a large and explicit painting on the floor, done entirely in condiments (mayonnaise and a pickle have been put to particularly good use). Potato chips seem to have been of particular interest, as Mistress has opened and tried every flavor she found in the cupboards.

There are some greasy streaks in the journal as she wipes her hands.]

Are things not made fresh here? Everything seems to be in its own little bag and stored. And who created this barbeque potato chip? I need to know.



[ OOC: open in the kitchen or over the journal. And here is her obligatory permissions post link. ]

Comments

[ectobabble]

Oh. ...

So, uh. Back home, what're you Mistress of?

[themistress]

Everything.

[ectobabble]

[a few more blinks]

Wow. That must keep you really busy...!

[themistress]

Hmmn, yes, the whippings do take up a lot of time.

[ectobabble]

The -- [his eyes widen a little] -- oh.

Remind me, uh, not to ever tick you off.

[themistress]

Oh, but my torture chambers haven't even been broken in yet.

[ectobabble]

.......!!!!

You... don't have those .... here, right?!

[themistress]

Of course I do. I recreated almost my entire castle.

[ectobabble]

... Wow. You ... might wanna be careful, some people get hit with side effects if they wish for too much stuff at once.

[themistress]

Well, it's already done, and nothing's happened yet.

[ectobabble]

Wow. You got lucky, then ... I know a guy who wished up a lot of stuff and ended up losing his voice for a week.

[themistress]

Is that so? Maybe you should start wishing.

[ectobabble]

[---! heeeeeeeey, that was pretty mean of you, Mistress. Ray will just give her the biggest kicked puppy face]

Well, geez, if you want me to leave you alone 'cuz you're busy, you can just say so.

[themistress]

I'm sorry for upsetting you. Would you like me to make it up to you?

[HINT: HE DOES NOT.]

[ectobabble]

Um. [actually he's too confused about this sudden random offer to say either way]

It's ... not that big a deal, honestly ...

[themistress]

[She's fickle.]

Oh, but you seemed so upset. [Mistress now has a zucchini in hand, and seems to be very thoughtfully considering it.]

[ectobabble]

I'm never really upset for too long. It's never worth it.

[oh god Ray, no, this is not a good time to be oblivious]

[themistress]

I can make you stop being upset entirely.

[ectobabble]

[SO CONFUSED]

With a --- zucchini?

[he tilts his head to one side veeeery slowly, squinting. but as one eyebrow finally arches up as far as it can go, it clicks, and his eyes start to widen.

OH.

he gapes for a moment, ineffectively, because seriously, how do you even process the fact that a total stranger is offering to do things to intimate parts of you with produce? Ray's not exactly a stranger to kinky concepts - just ask his subconscious - but actually considering the real, honest prospect of them breaks his brain a little]

Um.

I --

--

[and yet somehow he's STILL too polite to say no outright. beet red, he manages to choke out:] Some other time...?

[themistress]

[Mistress just smiles, totally ignoring the fact that his face is currently crimson.]

It doesn't have to be a zucchini.

[ectobabble]

[he squints a little.]

Um, that's not what I --

I mean, it --

[how is he even having this discussion. he did not wake up and think "I will have a frank discussion in the kitchen about my kinks" this morning, that's for damn sure]

That kinda thing -- [he gestures vaguely] -- doesn't really do it for me. I mean -- I appreciate the offer?! But --

[god does he ever. I mean seriously just look at the woman, who wouldn't. and we won't even get into how long it's probably been]

Nnh.

[themistress]

[MISTRESS DID WAKE UP AND THINK THAT!!! No, she didn't. She just hoped really hard.]

And what does do it for you?

/has no appropriate icons for this and probably most of the rest of this thread

[ectobabble]

[Ray honestly cannot believe she just asked him that question, in total seriousness. I mean, look at him, he's not exactly Brad Pitt. he looks around the kitchen to make sure no one's around to judge him ...

... and then leans in and whispers in her ear just the same]

no one has appropriate icons for Mistress. and most of her icons are not appropriate for others ;~;

[themistress]

[She just nods sagely as she listens, making a few thoughtful noises like 'hmn' and 'oh'.]

Well, it's all a little boring, but very accomplishable.

very true....

[ectobabble]

[he leans back and blinks a little] Well, I kinda come from a boring world, compared to this. Except for the ghosts and the demons and stuff, that is...

-- Wait, you're serious.