paradisa | (no subject)

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I never thought I'd miss having Damian around, but that just goes to show you that life is full of surprises. Magical castles, violent Robins becoming constants in your life... guess I should stop sticking my toes in that river in Egypt. It's not a loss or something involving said magical castle. He's gone. No more babysitting, no more high speed chases through the castle, no more fighting or pranks.

[What a relief. Sorta. But now what?]

... I understand a lot better now, so if he ever comes back, I'll be prepared. Less road bumps. Less yelling and anger, more trying to work together and having fun. I promise. I messed up, but I'll always try, not because of Bruce or anyone else, but because he deserves a chance. Maybe normal isn't a possibility, but happy is. No mistakes next time. If there's a next time.

Yeah. This is way more depressing than I thought it'd be. C'mon, Steph. Don't lose it now.

[A pause, and a heavy sigh.]

I just have to believe that he made it home, to Bruce and Dick. He's better off with his family, and in Gotham where he can do good. It's for the best.

Still gonna miss him. He'd never believe me if I told him that.

[Now that she's gotten that out of her system for the moment... time to be nosy.]

[Lucrezia]

Ready for another modern day lesson?

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Alvin?

[Alvin. Because Steph would quite literally keel over and die if Lucrezia somehow starting chatting with Tim and this conversation slipped out. CODE NAMES.]

Alvin. [ And she just assumes that's his real name! ]

Then. What happened?

Well... then the complicated stuff really got rolling. Third parties [Batman], disagreements [over her being a vigilante], and [being Robin and gang wars and death with trips to Africa] other stuff.

[Sounds like a downer, but Steph doesn't outwardly look bothered.]

The good times were great, but the bad times were terrible. That sorta thing.

[ Lucrezia wonders if Steph is even better at hiding such things. She tries to seem sympathetic nonetheless. ]

Was he your first love, Stephanie?

[She's caught off guard by that--just because no one's ever asked that. After a moment, she nods.]

Yeah. I still care about him a lot, and we're on good terms now, but... you know, no romance involved. Which is fine by me.

[ She smiles like she's finally found what makes her tick and promises to keep it ~secret~ ]

You never forget the first.

Especially not when you see him pretty often.

[ She furrows her brow a little. ]

Are your families related?

[Awkward look.] No.

[Ew. She'll remember that comment, Lucrezia.]

We're both from Gotham and have a lot of common friends. So we run into each other a lot.

[ COUSINS MARRY ALL THE TIME and, hey, no judging. Lucrezia doesn't understand that awkward look at all. ]

Has it stopped hurting then?

Yeah. I miss some things, but my life's been a lot better since. Lots of growing up.

As long as you are happy. [ She speaks in a sing-song voice but means it all. ]

Is there a second?

There have been other guys, but not anything serious. Mostly just crushes from afar.

[ Her gaze lingers on Steph for a moment, as if reading something on her face, before she amuses herself with one red M&M. ]

Are you afraid?

[This is where Steph busies herself getting a few of the candies.]

A little. I guess.

[ She glances at her between popping M&Ms into her mouth. This thing is better than soda. ]

Of being hurt?

That, and going crazy. Like a switch will be flipped, and all the work I've done shaping myself into a relatively sane and responsible person who doesn't grovel for approval will be undone.

[ She lets the silence stretch for a moment, thinking. ]

But is that not what love is?

I don't think groveling should be involved. Or the bad sort of crazy.

[ She chuckles. ] No, no groveling.

I hope you stop being afraid of the possibility, however.

I will eventually. I'm not in a rush, though.

No, you are not. [ Mischievous smile. ] Love bows not to time.

You have a ridiculous amount of wisdom.

Perhaps I should have you read Boccacio as well.

Ah, reading. I should do more of that.