we interrupt your regular programming...

[hard_talker]

[there's no Leonard Cohen tonight, no music, no loud tone of voice.  Mark just dictates flatly, in an almost bored monotone.  he wouldn't have bothered at all, save for the fact that, well ... it's what he's supposed to do.  it's what he would have wanted him to do ... and he knows he should do more, actually be angry or involved, more vocal.  he just doesn't have the heart right now.]

Okay, everyone, we've actually got two new arrivals this week, Annabeth and Konzen.   Someone's opened up a shrink office, for those of you in need of professional help, and Lois updated her report on what's out there in the great wide world of Wonderfuck.

But there's... I mean, I have...

[he's quiet for a moment, but the silence is loaded, like he's holding something he can't handle. and finally, as much as he wishes he were braver than this... as much as he knows this deserves more, he just can't. the blank nameplate he saw this morning... the one that confirmed and compounded the feeling in the pit of his stomach... It's too much. he falls back on his armor, hides behind his old nonchalance]

Oh, and the Doctor's gone.  You know.  The one who just got married.  Gone. 


[radio.  silence.  he doesn't even know how to hold all of this, so he's not going to try.]

Comments

[ino]

[hmm. she'll ... go ahead and sit down near him, though she'll give him a little space]

Well, then, I'll be here when you do.

[hard_talker]

Jesus Christ, Ino, don't just sit there like it's gonna happen right away. I knew the guy for a year and a half and he just DISAPPEARED.

[ino]

I didn't say it would happen right away.

[but ... there's a pause there. she's a tiny bit irritated that he thinks that she doesn't get what it's like. because if there's anything about his life she gets, it is definitely this.

she knows, though, that she's never really seen him this upset or angry before, though, so she'll try to just ... put a lid on that, for his sake, and be what he needs her to be to feel better]

[hard_talker]

[he's seventeen, hurt, and angry. of course he thinks no one feels like he does right now. it's a rule of life.

it's a minute or so worth of silence before he reaches out, scoops Cohen out of his terrarium, and strokes a finger carefully over his spines, sighing]

I told him to come back. That was the last thing I told him. And he's gone. How do you even handle that...

[ino]

[aww, mark ... yeah, she definitely sympathizes. some of the last time she spent with leroy was them having a talk about him wanting to stay -- not just for him, but for her -- and then he just up and disappeared. it hurts, it hurts so badly when all you want is to see them again, but the castle has other ideas.

she's quiet, solemn when she answers]

You remember that life went on before them, and know that they wouldn't want you to be lost and upset now because of them.

[hard_talker]

[he lets out a sigh that seems to come from the core of his angst-ridden teenage soul and the tips of his crooked teenage toes] And you know, I --

[he puts Cohen on his shirt so that he doesn't crush him in the sudden wave of anger that runs hot-cold through his bones, wincing] Damn it! I know that, I do! I just ... I don't know how to be it. I don't -- I don't know how to get there.

[his voice catches at the back of his throat, raspy, as he chokes it down. nope. not crying. somehow, his first thought is "there is a lizard on my shoulder, I cannot cry when there is a lizard on my shoulder". it's so absurd that all he can do is choke out a useless sob of a laugh]

[ino]

[ ... awww, bb ...

she'll pause for a moment, before she moves closer, and -- careful not to crush the lizard -- she'll pull him into a hug :( because she knows she can't really tell him how to get over it -- everyone will handle it differently. everyone will decide when they're done dealing with it and how they can move on. but the hug will hopefully convey that even if eleven isn't around for him anymore, she will be]

[hard_talker]

[all the rage goes out of him in one big sigh, and he just ... plops his head down on her shoulder. he's too hollowed out to even cry or anything - no words, no nothing - that little push of sudden anger was the most he could manage. he's just ... kind of in a holding pattern of sucky mood]

[ino]

[well, that's more than she was expecting! she'll just pull him close and put a hand on his back in an attempt to comfort him. ... it's a little awkward though, because she's so short LMAO]

[hard_talker]

[and after a second he'll realize this, and sit back up]

Shit.

I'm sorry, I -- I wasn't trying to - you know. I just ...

[siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh]

Yeah.

[ino]

It's fine.

[she'll ruffle his hair fondly, just to prove she's not mad or whatever he thinks she is]

It's okay to be sad, or angry, or whatever you need to be to feel better.

[hard_talker]

Thanks. [he sets Cohen back down on his little branch] I dunno, I'm just...... Tired.

[ino]

I know what you mean. [a bit of a wry smile] It's hard when someone like that is just gone.