paradisa | oo1 [ voice ]

So I have to say thanks for the swanky new digs here. Not that I’m going to start complaining or anything, just it would have been nice to be told that I need to find a new couch to lounge on now, and Lian isn’t here with me. Seriously, you go and do something nuts like pluck a guy from his home and set him up with a room that gives you a crappy little couch? I know other people out there can hear me.

[Pauses and sighs.]

Okay, fine. Change of plans, which yeah, I’m allowed to do, there isn’t a rule against it. Anyone like stories? I love stories, I grew up with stories, and I tell them to Lian all the time. Okay, here’s a story for you. Well, they say that this should really be told 'round a campfire, but I'll keep it short and simple here.

A long time ago, Killer-of-Enemies vowed to save his people from the monster eagles that carried off children. Killer-of-Enemies tricked one monster eagle into carrying him up to the eagle nest on the cliff, where he killed the monster eagle and its family. But Killer-of-Enemies did not know how to get down from the cliff. Just then, he saw an old woman approaching. It was Old Woman Bat.

"Grandmother, help me. Take me down," Killer-of-Enemies said. Old Woman Bat saw him high in the eagle's nest. She came over to the cliff and began to climb.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, when she reached the top.

"Monster eagle carried me up here," he said. "Please take me down."

"Climb in my basket," Old Woman Bat said. Killer-of-Enemies looked at the burden basket on the old woman's back. Its carrying strap was made of spider's silk.

"That strap is too fine," he said. "It will break and I shall fall."

"Nonsense! I've carried a bighorn sheep in this basket," Old Woman Bat said. "Get in and close your eyes. If you look, we will fall."

Old Woman Bat clambered down the rock, singing a strange song. Her burden basket swayed wildly from side to side. Killer-of-Enemies thought the spider thread would surely break, so he opened his eyes to look.

As soon as Killer-of-Enemies opened his eyes. He and Old Woman Bat crashed down from the cliff. Old Woman Bat landed first and broke her legs. Killer-of-Enemies fell on top of her and was safe. Old Woman Bat's broken legs soon mended but from that day on her legs were short.

[Laughs.] Pretty good story, huh. They always have some kind of ending that's supposed to make you think.