paradisa | the ninety-fifth; and death i think is no parenthesis

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gaignun kukai jr.

the ninety-fifth; and death i think is no parenthesis

[Acquaintances of Freya]

I've been taking the time to check all over, because...she really is the type to run off if she thought it was best, and nameplates can be removed by human hands. But I've looked everywhere I could think of, and someone reliable's confirmed that Freya's no longer in Paradisa. She left the same day the babies did.

[ So that was a very depressing night for Jr. ~~thank goodness for Ino's bosom~~. ]

Sorry I don't have better news. [ Since he's pretty sure she went back to uh die...but he'll just keep that tidbit to himself. ]

[/Acquaintances of Freya]

[Allen Walker]

Hey man... We need to talk.

[/Allen Walker]

[Reno Browne]

Something unexpected happened. I know you probably won't respond to this, since you've gotten so good at the avoidance game, but Harper's here. I need to know if he's the same guy, and if that means you guys can just... Or is he an alternate version of himself?

I need to know. Could this happen to you? Or any of the people out there?

[/Reno Browne]

[Krasus]

Thanks for the help. Sorry it was such a dead-end.

[/Krasus]

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[ Jr. doesn't respond right away, watching Allen's reaction with a mixture of sympathy and resolve. Things needed to be handled, but... He's never been happy with how Allen and Arthur's relationship was handled, how it ended, and he feels bad that he hasn't been able to help either of them with it, really. ]

He should have told you. I told him to, but...

[ Another pause, and he sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck. ]

He should have told you a lot of things. It isn't your fault he pushed you away, Allen... He was doing it with everyone. Arthur was so messed up after, he'd built up what we were thinking and how he thought we were reacting in his head. He thought we didn't want to know what happened to him, or maybe he thought we couldn't handle it. [ Which is ridiculous, really. It's tragic, but Jr. has heard of worse things. Still, paranoia is paranoia... ] I think he let his own fear swallow him for a bit, and he just didn't know how to handle it, or who to trust. There's no telling how the castle may have messed with his mind in ways even he's not aware of.

So...yeah, if people are aware, and know what to expect, hopefully we can keep that from happening to the two of them.

[A hand clenches the edge of the bed as he listens to Jr's words, a form of support. These were thoughts he was trying hard not to think about after all, wounds he's been avoiding for a great long while]

I know.

Arthur...should have done a lot of things. But...I also know I didn't help matters either since I was caught off by his death as well...I wasn't ready to deal with it as well as he needed. Maybe if he had trusted us a bit more or if I had taken more care to try to listen...[He shakes his head]

It matters not how it affected us, it's past. It's possible he doesn't even remember it anymore...at least I pray so.

[He is still mad at the castle for doing such a thing, still concerned that it did such a cruel thing to Arthur...he can only pray that his memory loss pertained to that as well...and no one reminded him of it. ]

But we'll do what we can to prevent all that. I'll....I'll help out in any way I can...it's the least I can do. [Especially...for failing so much with the one he loves]

[ Clearing his throat awkwardly, Jr. glances to the side. His eyes follow Alby as the dog stretches and jumps off the bed to go sniff at the door, perhaps because one of the cats are out in the hall.

His gaze lingers, though, and he frowns, before looking back to Allen. ]

Well, then...sorry to bring up more bad news, but he does remember again. At least that event. We already talked about it, and he's going to be the one to inform the castle about it. Soon, before the others wake up.

[ Really, Jr. could have done that for him, but he thinks it'll be better for Arthur to talk about it with others, and to at least feel like he's helping people with information. ]

[a pause, then softly] ....Oh.

[That's...well...At that? Allen takes a deep breath, falls back on the bed...and tries the zen thing for about five seconds before his face scrunches up into anger and his fist punches the headboard above his head]

Dammit!

[ Jr. winces, although he's sure the headboard took more damage than Allen did. Well that's the sort of reaction he has a kinship with, at least. He stays quiet, letting the other man get it out of his system however he pleases. What else is there to say? ]

[That's a good choice dude, because his temper is definitely flaring up]

Why can't- why can't the castle just let him have something happy?! First what it did to his death, and then Rhode coming back just long enough to give us a scare, and then Morgana- and now-

The one thing I thought good could come out of this mess- that maybe even if he never remembers most of his time with me- at least he could be free of those memories and all the pain that came with it! Like it was the castle setting things right for once! And that maybe- just maybe- he'd be able to find some peace or happiness that we...that we didn't seem able to hold onto.

But even that it wouldn't let him- [He punches the headboard again] It just keeps getting in the way of that instead!

[He stops the punching, his voice getting sad and quiet] And there's still...almost nothing I can do to help...! And I hate it!

Edited 2012-06-11 07:24 (UTC)

[ALBY STOP RUINING HER NINJA CRED .....

she's just going to be silently inching back down towards the stairs :( still listening, but ... a little further away now]

[ That's okay because nobody in the room is currently watching the little white dog pawing at the closed door to be let out...at least that's what Jr. assumes he wants. He's trained; he can wait.

Instead Allen's pretty focused on ranting, and Jr.'s pretty focused on...making sure it doesn't escalate. He doesn't agree with everything Allen's saying (not sure he'd want to give up any memories, even the bad ones), but he understands it, and again there's that nagging sympathy.

Especially when thinking on what he knows about Morgana... This is one big, horrible mess. ]

There's no right way to handle this... We aren't exactly given many opportunities to help, outside of simply trying to keep people from dying. But as cheesy as it sounds, just being supportive is helpful, even if it doesn't seem like it.

[It's okay it's usually best to just let Allen get it all out so he can be reasonable. He's already starting to calm down. At Jr.'s response, he turns his head to look at him]

How can I be supportive when he's right back to thinking that I'm nothing but an irritating idiot? He wouldn't want to talk to me or even be around me.

I know, but if he's already getting his memories back, that may not last for much longer. And it isn't like we hang out and talk.

[ Jr. still can barely stand the guy, okay? But he feels obligated on several fronts to help with him with this. ~~Also it's distracting from Freya.~~ ]

Being supportive doesn't just mean hanging around to be a shoulder to cry on, either. If we had something to go on, or...something to look into, about what this means for death here...

But I can't help but feel like Riful and Arthas's meddling had something to do with this. They played with forces we couldn't even comprehend, and found a way to make death permanent. They screwed around more than anyone else from the castle has, and I wonder if this is the castle's retort.

[A sigh and then bitterly. He still really really hates those two]

If that's the case, we should have tested it on them to find out.

Hey, I was ready to blow Arthas's brains out the second we got over him the border.

[ BUT PEOPLE JUST HAAAD TO STOP HIM... ]

Whatever. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Not helpful now. It's different, and the best we can do is try to educate ourselves about how much and why.

I know, I know....

[He sits up and takes a deep breath; he knows he's being difficult]

Sorry.

I was bracing myself for worse when you came over. Don't worry about it. If you weren't at least a little upset, I'd be pissed. This is definitely serious.

And it's not like I have any great ideas at the moment. [ Not much more helpful, really. ]

I know it's serious...[though...] How...bad did you think I would be?

We'll figure out things, especially if we can speak to Tim and Yuan's loved ones about this.

Wasn't sure if you'd cry or...yell more, or blame me... I know it's been a rollercoaster.

[ HE'S SO GLAD YOU DIDN'T BRO. But seriously he was gonna prepare for a hug and everything and not be a jerk about it this time. ...But he's relieved it didn't come to that. ]

Ah....

[His hand moves to cover his mouth a little as he starts...laughing lightly]

I see.

It wasn't meant as an insult...

[ YOU GIRL. God why are you laughing? ]

I-I know! But when it's said like that...it does seem a bit...

[Yep, laughing. Honestly? A large chunk of this is stress from the past several days. The image of Jr. preparing himself for a massive fit fest is...well, weirdly funny and sweet at the same time]

[ LOL just sitting there awkwardly, kinda flushed with embarrassment while Allen has his moment. SHUT UP HE DUN' CARE ABOUT NO FRIENDS...

Alby letting out a little yip finally draws his attention back over, so Jr. takes this break to stand up and go open the door for him. ]

Yeah, yeah...

[GUESS WHO IS DEFINITELY SENSING HE'S COMING CLOSE TO THE DOOR AND SILENTLY GETTING HER ASS BACK DOWN TO THE KITCHEN

yes it is this girl she was never there]

[THATS RIGHT GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN!!!]

[He lets up the laughter, but he's still smiling]

Thank you, Jr. Being so concerned for me...it's very touching.

[ And the kitchen is exactly where Alby is running to. He just had dinner, so Jr. knows that isn't it. Raising an eyebrow, he looks down the stairs for another moment before shrugging and stepping back into the room. ]

Hey, what are friends for?

Ah- that's right!

[He frowns a little]

It's...all of it is horrible, but...being with Arthur all those months...I saw the effects even if I didn't understand it.

So...if anything...it's nice to finally understand why now.

...Would you count it as closure?

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