First Debt

[debtfree]

[After Lysa Stark's little episode in the Vale, and finding himself summarily moved from the Tower of the Hand while he was injured, he had hoped not to wake up somewhere unexpected again for the rest of his life. Apparently that was too much to ask for.

There is the sound of banging through the journal as Tyrion kicks the door, trying to call a jailer's attention, not wanting to make a fool of himself by trying to open a doubtlessly locked door. When he speaks, his voice is almost mocking, with just a biting edge of sarcasm beneath it.]

I find that this is growing old. I don't mean to be ungrateful for the hospitality, it's only that I mustn't be away from King's Landing for too long or the whores all start despairing. It's a tragedy to let a pair of teats go to waste like that, you know, and I'm sure you don't want that on your conscience.

...Hello?

[When his usual patter is eliciting no response, not even a cursory yell to be quiet, he starts to lose the false humour from his voice, kicking the door again.]

Hey! HEY! Whatever my sister has paid you, I will double it. HELLO?

Comments

dictated;

[hullo_sweetie]

[Whores and teats. What a lovely gentleman]

Are you trapped somewhere in the castle?

dictated;

[persequor]

[ She speaks before she's aware of it. ]

The Imp.

[ The Others take the castle. It takes her brothers from her and brings the Imp? ]

Dictated forever

[whichwayyoulean]

And the winner of the most PG entrance into Crapsack Castle goes to...

Anyway, this place doesn't take brides. Trust me, I've tried already.

[debtfree]

[That voice didn't sound as though it had come from behind the door, not to mention it was a woman and therefore not a guard.]

I have to wonder if that is a trick question, as the answer seems rather self evident.

[debtfree]

[Great. Just great. He should have known this would be connected with the Starks somehow, though he's more than a little surprised to hear her voice. He had thought she had perished.]

You speak very well for a corpse.

[debtfree]

Everyone has a price, perhaps your bribes weren't lucrative enough.

[Excuse him while he gives the door another kick.]

dictated

[hullo_sweetie]

[Yes well, it wouldn't be the first time this place has trapped someone on purpose]

I suppose you have no idea where you're trapped either. I'll take a walk through the castle, keep making some noise.

[debtfree]

[He assumes she is watching him from a hidden passage somewhere, and turns to try and determine where her voice is coming from.]

That would be a lot of effort, when you could just walk out here and face me.

[Or does she not want to look the monstrous dwarf in the eyes?]

[whichwayyoulean]

Maybe. I hear this place prefers terror and angst as currency.

[...] Are you trying to kick in your door?

[hullo_sweetie]

Oh, you're hearing my voice from the journal, I'm not in the room with you. I assure you, we've never even met.

[A new arrival, no doubt]

Everyone gets a journal when they arrive. You can write in it and other people will see or you can speak and it will relay what you say to others.

[persequor]

I'm hard to kill. Unlike your nephew.

[debtfree]

[That doesn't sound very reassuring, but he's not about to trust a disembodied voice.]

Not very effectually, I'm afraid.

[debtfree]

Which nephew would this be? Both were hale and healthy at my last check, though sadly the same could not be said for you.

[He knows Tommen is well, and (sadly) so is Joffrey, or else it would be hard to attend his wedding.]

[debtfree]

[There was a time he would have dismissed that as pure nonsense, but he had been to the Wall and heard of stranger things than magic journals. Not that he believes it.]

And I suppose you'll be telling me that you're a grumpkin next?

[persequor]

[ He doesn't know. Time to share the good news. ]

But here I am and Joffrey's dead.

[hullo_sweetie]

No, I'm River Song.

[She's wandering the castle right about now. Starting with the lobby and the main hall, listening for sounds]

[debtfree]

[He can't rule it out as truth, especially having woken up somewhere strange. But what is concerning him the most is that he doesn't remember even being knocked out in the first place. So to cover up his unsure consternation, his tone is dry.]

That will put a dampener on the celebrations.

GUESS WHAT? ACTION!!

[changethings]

[ For such a short man he sure knows how to make a hell of a lot of noise. It is for this reason Emma stops and opens the very unlocked door.

Enjoy the look on her face Tyrion, because she is certainly judging you for abusing the poor unlocked door. (spoiler: this is a lie.) ]

Just so you know? It's unlocked.

[debtfree]

[He's right up on floor seven, so it might take a while. He's not heard the name 'Song' before, so he assumes she must be one of the smallfolk.]

How would you like to be rich, River Song?

OH MY WORD!

[debtfree]

[He stumbles back as the door opens, taking a slightly defensive pose out of instinct. For once he is struck dumb, he has never seen garb quite like that before...]

That seems remarkably lax, if you ask me. Not every prisoner is as honest as I am.

[whichwayyoulean]

You know, there's this really handy thing in existence called a doorknob. If you turn it, doors open.

It's amazing, really.

[debtfree]

[He's pretty sure that he's being played with, no gaoler would leave a cell door unlocked, even for someone as 'harmless' as a dwarf.]

How novel. Unfortunately, it tends not to work on cell doors.

ENJOY IT!!

[changethings]

[ His own doesn't surprise her. She's seen her fair share of medieval grab since she got here. His stature however, does make an eyebrow raise. ]

Though most aren't nearly as loud. [ Letting go of the door she crosses her arms underneath her chest. ] We're all prisoners here, according to the rest of them.

/SWOONS

[debtfree]

That's very philosophical.

[He takes a wary step forward, looking her over for weaponry at the same time.]

I don't suppose I would be so lucky that you're a gift from my captors?

[changethings]

They don't think so.

[ She is weaponless at the moment, her gun left behind in the room she shares with her son. Possibly a mistake on her part, but one she can live with. ]

Keep dreaming, shorty. [ That would be a no. But hey at least she isn't calling him a monster or something? That's a good thing right? ]