paradisa | First Debt

[After Lysa Stark's little episode in the Vale, and finding himself summarily moved from the Tower of the Hand while he was injured, he had hoped not to wake up somewhere unexpected again for the rest of his life. Apparently that was too much to ask for.

There is the sound of banging through the journal as Tyrion kicks the door, trying to call a jailer's attention, not wanting to make a fool of himself by trying to open a doubtlessly locked door. When he speaks, his voice is almost mocking, with just a biting edge of sarcasm beneath it.]

I find that this is growing old. I don't mean to be ungrateful for the hospitality, it's only that I mustn't be away from King's Landing for too long or the whores all start despairing. It's a tragedy to let a pair of teats go to waste like that, you know, and I'm sure you don't want that on your conscience.

...Hello?

[When his usual patter is eliciting no response, not even a cursory yell to be quiet, he starts to lose the false humour from his voice, kicking the door again.]

Hey! HEY! Whatever my sister has paid you, I will double it. HELLO?

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[ His own doesn't surprise her. She's seen her fair share of medieval grab since she got here. His stature however, does make an eyebrow raise. ]

Though most aren't nearly as loud. [ Letting go of the door she crosses her arms underneath her chest. ] We're all prisoners here, according to the rest of them.

That's very philosophical.

[He takes a wary step forward, looking her over for weaponry at the same time.]

I don't suppose I would be so lucky that you're a gift from my captors?

They don't think so.

[ She is weaponless at the moment, her gun left behind in the room she shares with her son. Possibly a mistake on her part, but one she can live with. ]

Keep dreaming, shorty. [ That would be a no. But hey at least she isn't calling him a monster or something? That's a good thing right? ]

[He feels the blow internally, but he's not surprised. Instead of getting offended or hurt, the reactions that he had learnt quickly people wanted to elicit from him, he just smiles.]

Yes, yes, I'm a dwarf, how very astute of you.

[He waves a hand with a slightly melodramatic sigh, moving on. It feels a little disloyal to Shae to be joking this way, though oddly the thought never occurs that he should be feeling disloyal regarding his wife.]

A prisoner should at least be able to expect the necessities, shouldn't he? And every man has three necessary appetites to fill; food, wine and a friend to warm the cold nights.

[He's on a roll now, he should stop while he's ahead, but his tongue often did run away with him and get him into trouble. He looks her up and down.]

Might you at least see your way as to telling me where I am? Or would that be a dream out of my reach as well?

[ She lacks the malice he is likely accustomed to, only traces of amusement clung to her voice. Very faint. The reaction does throw her a little, she has a skill in reading people though detecting lies is her super power but this one is more difficult than most. ]

You're going have to deal with only two of the three.

[ Her own skin is hard, defenses even harder to penetrate. The joking does bring something of a smile to her face. He's a funny one, if anything. ]

A castle, they call it Paradisa. It's a magical castle in another world that has kidnapped you and made you it's prisoner. [ She isn't joking, she wishes she was but she really really isn't. ]

[She at least seems to be able to look at his face without making an expression of horror, so he'll take what he can get. Though he supposes that she might be used to horrified looks, dressing as she is.]

A magical castle in another world, you say?

[Has someone slipped him milk of the poppy again?]

Why, it's so obvious, how could I not have deduced that myself?

[ Her wardrobe is amazing Tyrion, don't diss it. Her red jacket is comfortable and warm and damn stylish.

She laughs at his reaction, unable to honestly stop herself from doing so. She knows how unbelievable the truth of this place is, she honestly hasn't come to grips with it herself and she has been here for a month. ]

I know it sounds insane, but take a look out the window and you can see I'm right about the castle part at least.

[Her wardrobe might be impressive, but it's exceptionally strange to look at for someone from Tyrion's time. No lady in Westeros wore red jackets in quite that cut.

Glancing out of the window, he raises a distinctly unimpressed eyebrow.]

That is not quite the part I doubted, my lady.

Emma. [ Something about being called my lady or any of it's offshoots makes her tense and awkward. ] My name is Emma.

[ She wishes Henry was here with her, he is far better at talking about magic than she is. She can't help but sound ridiculously skeptical about it all and she's found that doesn't help when you're trying to convince someone that it is real. ]

Look... just try to wish for something. People here say the... castle grants wishes. [ WOW SHE WANTS TO HIT HERSELF, SHE SOUNDS RIDICULOUS. ]

[He knows that's nonsense even as she says it. If this castle truly did grant wishes, he would be taller than Jaime and twice as handsome. Shae would be a lady of noble birth and he would be free to marry her, heir to Casterly Rock.

Alas, wishes don't come true.]

Very well.

[He perches himself up on the edge of the bed, stunted legs dangling over the side, and answers as awkwardly as he can to prove a point.]

I wish for three of Littlefinger's best whores, with teats a man could suffocate in.

[ She simply stands there, staring with a mixture of amazement and disgust. Men will always be men. And this doesn't at all appear shy about his wants.

She waits for something to happen, never having wished for something herself she honestly has no idea if it is true or not, or if there are limitations. When in fact nothing does happen she shrugs, partly glad three whores didn't just appear in the room. ]

Looks like they lied.

[He hadn't been expecting anything to happen.

Swinging his stunted legs and leaning back a little, he raised a hand to rub at the horrendous scab where his nose used to be again.]

Alas, magic often turns out to be nothing but stories.

[ Emma is silent, mind idly wandering back to her temporary capture. Jefferson. Hats. Some worlds have magic and others need it. She frowns and shakes her head, throwing the thoughts from her head. The last thing she needs is to start thinking about that psycho. ]

I'm sure there is a whore house or two in the city, if you look hard enough. [ She's not exactly good at making people feel better. Sorry. ]

And I hear there is a two bars downstairs. [ Not that she has checked them out herself. ]

Edited 2012-07-07 03:06 (UTC)

[A bar and a whorehouse sound exactly what the maester ordered, but he has a rather important wedding to get to.]

Would that I could stay and sample those delights, but my lady wife will be wondering where I am.

[Such a lie.]

[ At least she tried, that along should get her some points. ]

She might have to wait a while, one thing they haven't lied about is the fact we can't leave. Many have tried and failed.

[ But that isn't going to stop her, not in the slightest. ]

First Debt

ENJOY IT!!

/SWOONS

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Apologies for the late tag <3

it's alright my darling, i will backtag into forever with you ♥