paradisa | ReMask 002

What? The genre of-

Wait, no, never mind. I'd be better off not knowing.

Oh no. You bet your ass this thing is getting picked the fuck back up later.

Travis, there's a lot to be said about leaving some things unknown to maintain an air of mystery.

...Especially if it deals with your smells.

There's also something to be said for showing up your comrades and/or causing them undue amounts of trauma.

Just trying to lighten the mood.

I'm almost there. [So you know, if you have any man tears now would be the time to wipe them]

Oh. ...Well played, Reno.

[He has. Mostly. He's had help from his long time friend Jack.]

Sure, sure.

[And a moment later, he's stepping into the bar, his eyes widen in shock as he takes in the sight before him]

Holy crap...

[There's Travis, behind the bar. To his credit, he's managed to clear off some of the dust from a spot on the bar. The rag he used now dark grey and covered in fuzzy dust. The wood is scuffed and damaged, and the broken glass scattered about the bar are the remains of their once frequently used mugs.

None of the seats are around the bar. One of them actually somehow got embedded in a wall. And on the ceiling, someone drew really crude looking dongs]

Kinda takes a bit of you with it, doesn't it? Fucking hell.

[Fortunately, he managed to get a couple of glasses from somewhere, one out for Reno in case he feels the need to imbibe alcohol as well.]

[Reno steps in, almost in a daze and finally reaches for the bar, plunking himself down on the only stool left standing- his stool, of course. You better get that alcohol ready man]

Earlier today I dealt with a body that was crushed, not a pretty sight.

...But I'm finding this more disturbing, yo.

[He's pouring the glass before he even sits down, leaving the cap off the bottle before settling back a step and leaning against a post. The creaking and groaning of said post made him step away, but not before cringing]

Either that means you've seen way too many bodies...or this really does look as bad as it fucking feels.

[He grabs the glass the moment it's full, taking a long drink. Set down the empty glass, breath deep]

Probably both.

[By now, Travis has already had a couple. He a sip of his instead of a full drink, holding the glass in hand and looking around again.]

Shitty day.

Just another day in Paradisa.

[He's moving to pour himself more]

But you know what we gotta do now.

Yup.

[And he "lightly" knocks his heel against the wall behind him. There's a sudden ruckus or noise and scrambling animals, a couple slams and a very pissed off screech]

Kill these fucking raccoons dead.

[a thumbs up]

Now we're talking.

The record, we go all out on this. I've seen enough movies to know if even one of those fuckers survive, it will torment us until we come to a stunning and life changing epiphany.

[he nods]

I will. I hate not getting a job done.

And I hate stunning and life changing epiphanies, so these critters are fucked.

...This is a stunning and life changing epiphany for you?

What? No, don't be stupid.

[He coughs, then postures to look all edumacated and stuff]

This is a traumatizing and soul withering experience for me. But I'll be damned if I let it become a stunning and life changing epiphany.

I'm just checking...

[He snorts]

Well then we better make sure it doesn't come to that. I don't want to know what one of those look like from you.

Exactly. So...

[Beat]

...how do?

....

....

Well don't look at me. I'm a Turk, not a construction worker.

Well fuck man, I'm an assassin! The closest thing I ever came to constructing was...well, either model robots or a giant robot.

You built a giant robot?

Travis

Reno

Travis

Reno

Travis

Reno

Travis

Action?

Action!

Action!!

Action!!!

Action!!!!

Action!!1!!

AcTiOn!1!!!11

ACTION!1!1!1!

SO MUCH ACTION!!111!1!2!

MORE ACTION THAN DIE HARD!!!

MORE THAN ALL THE DIE HARDS! THE DIE HARDINGEST!

BRUCE WILLIS COULD NOT HANDLE THE DIE HARD LEVELS OF THIS THREAD

EVEN IF STALLONE, STATHAM AND LI HELPED OUT, HE WOULD BE OVERWHELMED!

WHAT ABOUT...SAMUEL L. JACKSON?

That depends, is he assembling a group of remarkable people to avenge something?

sure, why not

Then it might just be enough. MAYBE

I SEE I SEE