the space in between.

[wield]

[ First came denial. She refused to believe he was gone--no, he had to have moved. There was no way he was gone. With the castle changing things up, he had to be around somewhere, a different floor. Maybe into the town? She must have wandered the streets of the town and scanned floors looking for his name plate or a sign of his existence a dozen times before allowing herself to stop in front of where his name once stood. Her brows lowered and her heart raced as she reached for the handle only to open the door into an empty room, and that was all it took. Buffy didn't even bother walking in, peering from beyond the door frame was enough. ]

He's gone. Angel... he's gone.

[ Hours later, her voice, angry, sad, and defeated all in the same, came across the journal. Cold hands were shoved into her coat pockets as she stood on the roof, seemingly staring off into the woods, but to her it was really nothing. She's kind of in her own little world right now, so she probably won't respond via journal. ]

Comments

[interpersonally]

[ A lot of feelings. They include his brother and Angel not deserving whatever... happened to him. But, he only talked to the guy once. ]

I'm sorry.

[wield]

Yeah. Me too.

[interpersonally]

A friend, Caroline went home too. [ And Alaric. ] It sucks.

[wield]

You also lost someone important to you a few months ago, didn't you?

[interpersonally]

[ Thanks for the reminder. ]

Lexi. My best friend. [ And, she went back to die. ] Another friend, Alaric. Elena's disappeared twice so far.

Stefan

[wield]

How... how do you deal with something like that all the time?

Buffy

[interpersonally]

...I -- do. It's hard. Some days. But, you can't let it weigh you down.

Stefan

[wield]

Everyone is slowly leaving.

Buffy

[interpersonally]

The castle can't let everyone go. The way I see it, those that are sent back return to their lives. In some cases... it's a good thing.

Stefan

[wield]

So now what? I just wait for it to take away everyone else I care about? Sit around while the rest of my friends disappear because the castle is done with them? Some don't have lives to go back to--and then what? They're just sent to a life to die?

Buffy

[interpersonally]

No. But, you can't worry about when or if they will be taken away. You can hope they come back. Lexi didn't have a life to go back to. I hated that. Don't you think I hated that?

Stefan

[wield]

[ There's a long pause; she feels bad. ]

I hate this. [ Finally admits, her tone more defeated than angry at this point. ] I hate feeling so helpless here.

Buffy

[interpersonally]

The trick is to not let yourself feel helpless, no matter how helpless you can be. We can always do something, Buffy.

Stefan

[wield]

[ A deep breath. ]

So, where does one go to take their mind off of something like this, then?

Buffy

[interpersonally]

Well, you could drink. There's a shooting range. A gym. You could spar, really work out your aggression. You're a vampire slayer, right? It comes with the sacred duty?

Stefan

[wield]

Yeah, can't forget me sacred slayer duties in Paradisa. [ Said somewhat sarcastically. ]

There's not really anyone to spar with here. I mean, I train with a few people but they're just humans, you know? Can't really go all out.

Buffy

[interpersonally]

And you're talking to a vampire. Remember?

Stefan

[wield]

[ A small laugh. ]

I didn't really think fighting and getting angry was your lifestyle anymore.

Buffy

[interpersonally]

If we sparred, I wouldn't get angry, Buffy. Sparring and fighting are two different ideas. [ Besides, he's curious. How strong is she? How fast? ] But, you could also workout. Or shoot. You don't really seem like a girl who shoots first. [ Or at all. ]