paradisa | [dictated]

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john egbert

[dictated]

[ It's not glaringly obvious, but for anyone who knows John it is pretty clearly that the tone he's speaking in is a little more morose than usual. ]

You know... having a pretend family for awhile wasn't as bad as I might have thought it was going to be, except for the part where the castle altered my memories without giving me a say. Not that it ever actually asks people before it does these kind of things, because it's kind of the biggest jackass here. Which is saying something!

But at least it was better than some of the other things it has done, and at least this time no one was in danger of dying. So I guess that's good.

It kind of got me thinking about my dad though. And I guess I realized I don't actually think about him all that often anymore, being stuck in the castle and all for almost two years now. For the first year I was here I kept hoping he would show up too! Though I don't really think that's going to happen anymore.

[ There's a long pause here. The guilt over the fact that he sort of cast aside all fatherly related thoughts unless something actually reminds him of his dad. It probably makes him a pretty shitty son that he doesn't think about his home and his family more than he does here.

There's a short laugh, but it doesn't sound overwhelmingly happy. ]

I don't really know where I was going with that. I was just sort of thinking out loud for a minute.

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[Oh, poor John...it's not like Jane can't understand how you might be feeling right now. You both might as well be the presidents of the Dad Feels Club today.]

You've been waiting for him that long?

[ With everyone else in this castle, they could probably make a pretty big club based around that. ]

Yeah. I've been stuck here for awhile now.

Gosh...I don't think I could imagine being away from home that long.

[Oh sugar, that probably was a lousy thing to say, wasn't it? Fix it, Jane!]

Is there anything I can do to help you feel better? Ask a ghost if it could bring you cookies, maybe? [She'd bake them herself, but, well, loss.]

[ He was going to say that was okay! He wasn't actually feeling that hungry anyway, but that pain in the ass loss of him kicks in and before he has a chance to say no he says. ]

Yeah, that sounds great.

[ There's a sigh on his end. It probably sounds like the long suffering sigh of a kid who misses his dad, and not the sigh of a guy who is tired of the castle trolling him with baked goods. ]

[Forgive her, she knows not what she does! At least it's not cake, right?

There are a few mumbles to a ghost before she comes back. She made sure to ask the ghost to get you milk, too. Can't have cookies without milk.]

What the castle did wasn't fair to any of us. I bet everyone could use a little pick-me-up right about now, even if it doesn't do much picking up.

[ Always a plus! Cookies are at least small and not covered in overly sugary frosting. Well, most cookies, it depends on the kind she sends up to him now that he thinks about it.

Mostly he just resigns himself to this fate at this point. At least it isn't every day that people shove these things his way! That would be pretty much intolerable. ]

No kidding! I hope that most people are okay after this whole mess too. I know at least one lady I talked to was already pissed off that the castle keeps bring and trapping us in new places for a week or so, so I bet this kind of thing would really make some people angry.

[ And oh look at that, a ghost with SIGH cookies-- Oh hey! Milk, that's pretty awesome at least! Gonna grab himself that glass of milk before he starts chowing down on cookies like his loss dictates he do. ]

[It certainly would be the pits, wouldn't it? And don't worry, they're pretty normal cookies. Can those cakey ones with all the frosting really count as a cookie, anyway?]

Oh, definitely! Angry and frustrated and upset, those are the feelings that will be stewing in the castle for a while, and who can blame anyone?

[ Some people do, but they are pretty much like flat mini cakes as far as John is concerned. He's going over to munch on one of the cookies now since and trying to talk between eating. ]

That is pretty much how it goes though. The castle messes with people, and then by the time they are mostly over it, it starts messing with them again.

Ugh. It sounds like a big bully to me. Perhaps our misery is akin to lunch money, and each time we're messed with, the castle is actually shaking us down in the schoolyard.

[Yeah, analogies are all fun and good, but they're not gonna fix things. She sighs and her head makes a soft thump on the table.]

So is this all we can do? Wait until something happens and then gripe about it later?

[ He gets quite for a minute, actually pondering that question. It's not a bad one, and he remembers his conversation back when everything became a camp and the lady he talked to felt like she was being jerked around by the castle constantly.

Well... this all seemed like a pretty good way to prove her point.

Also eating another couple of cookies while he's thinking. Ugh, is he really going to be forced to eat the entire plate? Man, this is gonna make him feel sick. ]

I'm not sure. I don't think so though, but we haven't found a way to stop any of it from happening yet. Or maybe... I don't think we can really stop it from happening completely, but there is probably something we can do to fight against it.

[Jane's quiet for a moment, thinking. Pondering. Wondering. All those good words, that's what she's doing.]

Even if it's something small...perhaps fighting against it is our best bet.

[ It's not a bad thing to ponder over, really. John's done it a number of times himself. And that's a pretty good attitude to have about the whole thing, honestly. ]

I think so! I just don't think anyone really knows how.

Hoo hoo! I think outsmarting it in some small way is a good place to start!

Yeah, but how do you outsmart a castle when you can't ever predict the next move it's gonna make?

[Without even thinking,] By being prepared for most anything! Of course, there are certainly things that can't be prepared for, but one can try.

That's a lot to prepare for, if you consider all the things it's done in the past.

That's true, but I think I can fit everything I would need in my sylladex.

You use a sylladex too?

[ He's sad that's a surprise to him, but no one here actually uses them for some reason. Besides him, his friends from home and the trolls at least. ]

It probably doesn't actually matter though. Most of the time when things happen our sylladexes lock up and we can't use them at all.

Of course! I wouldn't dare leave home without it.

[She knows Aradia has one, but no one else has brought up the idea of others not having one yet, so she's a little surprised at his reaction.]

Do they really? Oh, darnit...maybe my pocket would be a better place for it.

Yeah, they are pretty useful! I mean, I didn't really use mine a lot until I turned thirteen, but it was pretty useful after that. But yeah, they aren't as useful here with everything the castle messes with.

Gosh, maybe it's more trouble to have a sylladex here than it's worth!

[Note to self: wish-invest in a handbag. Or a backpack.]

It kind of seems that way sometimes. Plus whenever things happen my weapon locks up too! So I had to start leaving it out all the time, which is also kind of annoying.

I can imagine it would be a hassle, no matter what weapon you use!

Right? Also mine is sort of big and bulky, so it's especially annoying.

Really? What exactly is it?

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yes!

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