paradisa | 054;

[Spike finally reached his limit. Well, his new limit; the one he set after he reached the last one. The castle took it a few steps too far when it started making him fall in love with random residents, then followed it up by screwing with his memories and giving him new ones that would bring him nightmares for the rest of his life. There's no way he's going back there. -- He's currently lying on a bench in town, where he's been sleeping for more than a week just to avoid anything related to the castle. Which has worked, but as a consequence gave him an obscenely sore neck. No plan is ever perfect.

He takes off his jacket to use as a pillow when he notices the journal still stuck inside it.]

You again. [He could have sworn he threw it into the duck pond on his way out. But since he's stuck with it, that could be a sign... Maybe there's another reason he's having trouble sleeping. Against his better judgment, he sits up and rubs his neck. Then he finally opens the journal and pulls out something to write with.]

---

(People he was in lo-...)

[-ve with...... His pen stops halfway through writing the filter and his expression turns sour.]

... Eugh.

---

[Turns out, he still doesn't want to deal with it. Scowling at himself, he uses the journal to block the sun from his eyes and lies back down on the bench.]

Whatever.

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[He rubs his neck again, trying to work out the kink that proves her point.]

That's hindsight I guess.

Usually is.

[a beat]

Wanna talk about it?

[How did she know? He sighs and pushes himself to work up to an apology.]

I've done enough talking.

[she doesn't really know anything -- she just knows enough to know there's something to talk about.

So she shrugs.]

Suit yourself.

[If she hadn't picked up on how he was briefly crazy about her, he didn't know if he should be relieved or worried that it passed as normal behavior. It felt normal at the time, so maybe that was the problem... he falls into that role too easily.

He's quietly thinking that over before he finally pipes up again.]

... I'm sorry. I just meant about hassling you the other day.

Hassling?

[her head tips to the side a bit.]

You were acting kinda funny, but I don't think I would call it "hassling."

[That's as close as he's going to get to addressing what's bothering him. Recent examples showed it could have gone a lot worse.]

Whatever you want to call it.

[looks a little more]

Castle screw with you?

[He's the picture of absolute misery when she asks that question. The problem with having one thing weighing so heavily on your mind is it's hard to turn the subject away.]

Turns out I'm not the exception.

[there's a small smile at that.]

No one round here is.

I had a good run there.

[nods slowly]

Mine haven't really been anything too terrible.

I'm sure it has something to do with karma.

You think I have good karma?

[she's actually amused by the idea]

[He thinks about it, then looks over. It can't be that good, if Spike saw her as a target in his... temporary insanity mission.]

Maybe it shows in different ways.

[shrugs]

Maybe.

[Ugh. Listen to him going on about it. Like that loss started him down some awful path of over-sharing and being honest.]

Same old story anyway.

It's just something we gotta deal with.

Yeah.

[Because he hasn't had luck doing something about it. Hence the plan to sleep his life away.]

[she's getting that]

So sleeping out here is your way of dealing?

That's what I've got so far.

Still think you should opt for a room at the inn. Or at least crash on Jo's couch.

I think I've worn out that couch by now.

[He manages to say it with a hint of a smile though. (Because he's fine, clearly.)]

Fair enough.

[there's a beat]

I think Sam's got a couch in the Pie Hole.

I might scare away his customers.

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