XXVI.

[hellshaped]

[Hellboy is outside enjoying the weather this afternoon. It's August now, which means Autumn is fast approaching -- and he figures he should get in all the mild weather he can, before the weirdness starts.

He pauses to lean against a tree and light a cigarette, opening his journal to dictate into it in the meantime.]

So who wants to take bets on what kind of weird stuff will happen to the trees when Fall starts? My money's on glow-in-the-dark leaves. Or it would be if money even mattered here.

[Molotov]
So it's your birthday tomorrow, is that right?
[/filter]

Comments

[molotov]

What does that have to do with pastries?

[hellshaped]

Russians like pastries. [It's pretty much a fact!!!]

[molotov]

That would be like me saying that all Americans love cheez-whiz.

[hellshaped]

That would be an accurate statement.

[molotov]

Russians do not even have very good pastries! French are better.

[hellshaped]

If you want to die of a butter overdose.

[molotov]

You do not like butter?

[hellshaped]

I think I'd have to give up my citizenship if I said no. [He's joking. I don't think he has citizenship.]

[molotov]

Then you should know that there is no such thing as an overdose.

[hellshaped]

No, you just get really fat.

[molotov]

That is why you exercise.

[hellshaped]

Not according to the rest of my countrymen.

[molotov]

I know, it is disgusting.

[hellshaped]

[...she says, as he cooks her some fucking pancakes. At least it's buttermilk.]

I've seen worse things.

[molotov]

[She was talking about fat people! And Molotov is no fatty.]

Of course there are worse things in the world than fat people. That does not make fat people less disgusting than they are.

[hellshaped]

[He laughs, shaking his head.]

You're a lot more judgmental than most people I know.

[molotov]

[She shrugs.]

People get the judgment they deserve. I would not say that fat people are bad people, simply by virtue of being fat. But they are fat.

[hellshaped]

[amused] And what would your judgment be about me?

[molotov]

Hmm. I think you are much nicer than you come off at first meeting.

[hellshaped]

[Slight pause.] I had a spear stuck in my back.

[molotov]

It did not seem to bother you that much!

[hellshaped]

I mean, it hurt. [Plus he'd just been electrocuted... with the spear? He wasn't really sure what had happened. But it had certainly been someone trying to kill him.]

Besides, I think I'm allowed to be cranky on my arrival at a magical prison.

[molotov]

You are nitpicking. Anyway, you are always so gruff and you seem to be alone most of the time. But I think maybe you do not like that so much.

[hellshaped]

[Oh, ha ... he hadn't really been expecting her to give him a serious answer. Now he is a little uncomfortable! The very tip of his tail twitches nervously, while he just continues to cook. Nearly done!]

How do you figure?

[molotov]

People who like to be alone usually do not do things like make birthday pancakes.