¤ 41 - Loss

[honorinflames]

[Katara, Iroh, Ursa - aka private]

[it takes him a while. Even though no one is listening, he waits until his voice is steady.]

...I know you can't hear me, but... Goodbye.

[/filter]

[this time, he doesn't get violently angry. And maybe he should have, for this horrible feeling in his chest. He wants to get mad, throw things around and set pieces of the castle on fire to let it know just how much he hates it.

But, he can't bring himself to. Whatever anger he has just buckles inward when he realizes that he's given up on some things.

He's never going home, and he knows it. He's never going to see the people that are important to him ever again. They aren't deceased, but they might as well be--forever whole worlds apart.

So... he takes a little basket of things out to a quiet spot on the castle grounds, and sets up beneath one of the trees. A certain beloved teapot, little folded up notes that have never been given, and a pair of leather-and-fur mittens--all collected around a couple sticks of incense.

After settling down in front of the little makeshift shrine, wrapped up in the fire-colors of the setting sun, he lights the incense with a pinch of his fingers... and just stays there.]

Comments

[sexyhitchhiker]

[there's a rustling as a familiar husky comes bounding up to him, tail wagging tentatively. Even though there was cruel and unusual animal abuse during that time with the baby, Zuko is still (sort of) a friend. Especially if he fed the dog.

So he gets a big sloppy lick on the face before a familiar voice rings out.]

Blitz! Get back here! [and the dog bounds away again, only to reappear a few moments later at Natsuki's side. She freezes when she sees Zuko.

...Well, this is awkward. And somewhat irritating.]

[honorinflames]

[he's still wiping off his face when Natsuki shows up, glancing up from the shrine and... immediately looking pretty awkward.

On one hand, things were left so weird during the last world change, and this isn't exactly the best way to run into her again... but, on the other hand, there's some part of his mind that is so glad to see her right now.

...Which, only makes things even more awkward.]

Uh... hey.

[sexyhitchhiker]

[awkward is right. He immediately gets a scowl - even if she has to remind herself that none of that really should apply because she doesn't actually want to marry him.

...

The scowl lessens a touch.] Haven't seen you in a while.

[honorinflames]

[he must not have expected the scowl, because it actually has some sort of... effect.

He drops his eyes away from her, back toward the shrine.]

...Yeah.

[sexyhitchhiker]

[whoa, that was odd. She takes a couple of steps closer.]

What's up?

[honorinflames]

[he hunches his shoulders a little]

Nothing.

[cricketycricket]

[it's the smell of the incense that draws him off the path of his evening walk, but when he sees the trail of smoke drifting up nearby the lone figure in the grass, well. he can't help but speak up, quietly, though he keeps a respectful distance]

It's not often I see anyone keeping a vigil, here. ... What's the occasion?

[honorinflames]

[he glances over his shoulder toward the man, looking maybe a little awkward, if subdued]

...Nothing special.

[not really engaging him, but not putting up obvious 'leave me alone' vibes either. Just quiet and sullen.]

[cricketycricket]

[he still keeps his distance ... it's clear that whatever's happened, he's upset. but if he's not being asked to leave, it means he doesn't have to, not yet. which means he could still help, somehow. and he feels like he hasn't helped people lately as much as he should... so. yes, this works for him.]

You know, the sun comes up, every day. Not that special in the scheme of things, but still very important. There are quite a few things like that, in my experience.

[honorinflames]

Yeah.

[that somehow gets turned around in his head, until it ends up having the opposite effect that the good Doctor probably meant.]

It happens all the time. ...And it's just going to keep happening.

[cricketycricket]

[ohhhh dear, he seems to have encountered a particularly stubborn case of the doldrums, here.]

Yes - it is. All of it: both the good, and the bad. Sometimes it's simply a matter of being able to shift your focus.

[honorinflames]

Yeah. Right. Because there's so much to shift your focus to, here.

[he's turned having the doldrums into an art form]

[not_mafia]

[It'd been nearly a week since Tsuna had sprained his ankle, and he had become quite restless. He wasn't quite sure how he'd managed to hurt it in such a way that even now, it still sent small, sharp pangs if he tried to put too much weight onto it, but he'd gotten tired of laying around in his room, and missed the sun and fresh air.

So he's taking a walk around the courtyard, one crutch steadying him when he stepped on his injured foot, every once in awhile wincing when he put too much weight on it.

It's the smell of the incense that alerts Tsuna to Zuko first, and he stops, looking around in confusion before his eyes land on the boy sitting before the tree. Almost immediately, he notices the way his body sags, like it's nearly too heavy to hold up. His eyes catch onto the shrine, and his heart skips a beat. Has someone died again?

He watches a few moments longer, then turns around to go back--]

[not_mafia]

[--and his crutch catches on a hole and he makes noises as he hops around, trying desperately not to lose his balance, but it's a losing battle, and he ends up... falling flat on his face.]

fin whoops forgot to put 1/3, my bad

[not_mafia]

Slowly, he brings his dirtied, lightly scratched face off the ground.]

H... hah...

[And then he just lets his face fall back onto the ground. Feeling like the king of losers right now? Pretty much.

Heee'll get up as soon as his pride has recovered. At least he didn't further injure his foot...]

[honorinflames]

[the sound of crashing and falling startles him out of his thoughts, so he straightens up and... sees this.]

...Are you okay?

[more of wanting to make sure that he doesn't have to interrupt his introspection for something like... helping, than anything else]

[not_mafia]

[Tsuna starts at the voice and immediately starts scrambling up.]

Y-yeah! I'm-- hck! [Put his bad foot down for a second there. He lifts it carefully as he hauls himself to a stand with his crutches.] -- f.. fine.

Sorry about that...

[honorinflames]

You look like you should be sitting down somewhere.

[not hobbling around on uneven ground like an idiot]

whoops, meant one crutch^ what is consistency

[not_mafia]

[hey rude!! he didn't put that hole in the ground, it was probably some mouse or something. that jerk]

Y-yeah, probably...

[He looks over. His curiosity finally wins over. Unfortunately, it comes out as something of an excuse.]

I was just-- wondering what you were doing over there...

[optimystic]

[Maya was just out and about wandering, and.... that's not something she ever expected to see. Who is he praying to, she wonders? For a moment she just stays back without approaching him, but after a second of considering she comes a bit closer. Not close enough to be cramping his style, but enough so that he can probably hear her footsteps. Then she'll just stand there, and wait to see if he says anything]

[honorinflames]

[he hears the footsteps. And, when they don't move on to somewhere else, he half turns his head. Not enough to actually glance over his shoulder--just enough to show that he hears her]

...What?

[--he'd meant it to sound sharper, but he ends up just sounding kind of tired instead]

[optimystic]

[when he says something she comes over a little closer, and crouches down, hugging her knees]

What are you doing?

[honorinflames]

[he just keeps his eyes on the shrine, hunches up his shoulders a bit]

Just thinking.

[optimystic]

[she makes a 'hmm' noise]

Is it something you want to talk about?

[honorinflames]

There's nothing to talk about.

[obviously.]