(no subject)

[save_the_souls]

[Backdated to yesterday; dictated]

Ah...

[There's a long pause as he tries to figure out how to say this; partly as he knows some reactions will not be well. But in the end, he goes for the simple answer.]

It seems Gwaine has been returned home.

I'm...I'm sorry to anyone who knew him.

[Jr.]

Jr...I'm sorry to bother you, but are you on the expedition?

[Added after speaking with Jr.]

[Merlin]

Hello. My name is Allen Walker.

I know you don't know who I am, and that you are new to this castle...but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you where you are for your own safety.

Comments

Dictated forever

[huffythedragon]

...What? [No way. That can't be true. Not GWAINE]

and ever

[save_the_souls]

[A pause; oh man that sounds like a child]

...I'm sorry.

[huffythedragon]

[A horribly sad kid at that]

B...but he can't be gone.

Spike

[persequor]

Crying won't bring him back.

[save_the_souls]

[a pause]

It'll be all right. You're friends, aren't you?

Allen

[persequor]

[ Oh someone's gone. Arya has other business to attend to. ]

Did you know Tim is out in the Dead Zone?

Arya

[save_the_souls]

Arya!

Ah- yes, I did. I sent him out there to help record.

Is he well?

Allen

[persequor]

Yes. I wanted to make sure you know where he is. [ In case she needed to punch Rue in the throat for golemnapping. ]

Arya

[save_the_souls]

Oh...

Well, thank you for the concern, but don't worry! I knew he was along for the trip.

[scinlae]

[ The words don't register at first, she just stares at her journal in silence. Another left, it's happened before and it'll happen again. Such is the way of Paradisa.

It seems Gwaine has been returned home.

Gwaine has been returned home.

Gwaine... home.

It hits her like a unkind wind, knocks the breath right out of her lungs and leaves her reeling. She gasps desperately trying to get it back. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. (not again not again no no─) The room spins and her heart aches, already hot tears stain pale cheeks.

He can't be gone, this is a lie, has to be. A ploy to hurt her, to strike at her weakness. It can't have taken him from her. Not her rock, her light. (again again again) ]

You're lying... [ When she finally speaks her voice is riddle with emotion, it cracks and splinters. Morgana couldn't keep up the haughty air of the woman who brought Camelot down to it's knees right now even if she tried. ]

[save_the_souls]

[Morgana...it's been so long since he's heard that voice, but he still recognizes it]

[She was the one that he was worried about the most telling. He knew what Gwaine meant to her, what she meant to Gwaine. ]

[The feelings he felt now, felt so much like what he felt those days he learned of Alma at home. And yet again, even though he was so much older, so much more mature...he still didn't know what to do.]

[He finally speaks, quietly]

I wish I was, but...

[He stops himself from apologies. There are none that would amend this]

[scinlae]

No! [ She can't accept it, she can't. This can't be happening. She desperately wants to wake up because this must be a dream. Gwaine can't be gone. Her knight, her center, the one who stayed even as she hissed venom at him. The man who made her feel love again, something she was sure was dead and buried. ]

No... [ It comes out desperate and broken. A plead more than anything. ] It can't be true. [ Please. ]

[save_the_souls]

[a long and heavy pause; until finally...gives in to the urge to apologize simply because of all the pain that's being caused]

I'm sorry, Morgana...I truly am.

But I would never lie about this. Not to you.

[he wanted you two to so badly be happy together. To maybe find some sort of peace]

[excalibured]

[He draws the horse up short, moves with the startled animal and then stills entirely. Arthur sits stiff and shocked. Dread, like ice water fills his veins.

He wants to say it isn't true. It's Gwaine, who's a stubborn immoveable fixture that's never quite left Arthur's side, not when Uther banished him on pain of death, and not here when Arthur's tossed him away. But he knows better, someone as tenacious as Gwaine doesn't stand a chance against the magic of the castle.

There's a faint, feminine voice, indistinguishable in the background and it startles him into movement. He pulls the journal from where he's strapped it open on he back of the saddle and pulls it up to view it properly, to speak. His words sound hollow even to his own ears, and it- It feels like someone's died]

You are a damn fool, Allen Walker.

[save_the_souls]

[he knows that voice, as well as the sounds in the background. It sounds like he's in on the expedition...which he's a bit glad to see he gets out sometime.]

[And he can guess why he's being called that.]

Maybe.

But...I didn't see any other choice.

[She would have found out on her own, and that would have been even worse]

[excalibured]

Then you shouldn't have acted! You had no right to-

[He doesn't finish. He can't say that with certainty. He doesn't know much about Allen's relationship to Morgana, or to Gwaine. Still, it doesn't settle well with Arthur, that someone he hardly knows thinks he knows best about how to handle his affairs]

You should have filtered this from her.

Allen

[gunslinger]

[ Son Of A Bitch ]

No, because I didn't want to leave the castle behind this time. Damnit, I wish you hadn't made that knowledge public right now. What a mess...

Jr.

[save_the_souls]

Good.

I'm sorry...but she would have found out on her own anyway. I felt that would have been worse.

Allen

[gunslinger]

I'm sorry, too.

[ And he wishes he could take the time to pat Allen on the back and ask if he wants to talk about it, but...there are more urgent reactions that might need to be noted. Like Morgana and Arthur... ]

I don't know how Arthur will react exactly, but Morgana might actually be a danger to someone right now if she gets too emotional. Specifically I'm thinking of the guy claiming to be Merlin.

Allen Walker

[kingsgambit]

[You're lucky he knows what filters are really :| Even if it's only been a short time since he's arrived here and met the others and well...

It's not like he can't mourn their loss really. Gwaine sounds similar to Gawaine and he knows a knight by the latter.]

If this has to do with Morgana and your desire to insure my continued well being because Arthur said so, then you can tell him I can handle myself.

[And yet he only sounds irritated.]

Merlin

[save_the_souls]

[Hey sorry man he is not a video game character he does not have time for tutorials when your life could be on the line]

[And Allen on his end rolls his own eyes]

Arthur didn't say anything about you, I work on my own accord.

I'm sure you can handle yourself if you are who you say you are, but right now Morgana is extra...upset and my friend Jr. has reason to believe you might be her target for her rage.

So...we need to know where you are, even if what you say is true.

Merlin

[kingsgambit]

[Well you're lucky otherwise this would be all over the journal. Or that Merlin cares enough about discretion to bother to learn.

And somehow he thinks that's an understatement if she's anything like Morgan in his world.]

Oh so someone out to defend him on their own. [Great, just what he needs a wild card in his chess game.

Or would that make Allen the queen to Arthur's king?

So it takes him a moment to consider this, because he's not sure what to do.]

You doubt my word and yet believe who I am, what am I to you for you to feel you must do this? Some sort of patrol for this place?

[mom_to_us_all]

[Written:]

So many people is been leaving lately.

[Random conversation... She might be bored.]

[save_the_souls]

[he notices this after a bit]

Yes...it seems to be so.

[mom_to_us_all]

I think it's normal, isn't it?