three paintings burned

[thehangedrose]

[If you ever went back in time and told Garry that one day, he would be partly responsible for someone's death, he would probably feel disgusted that you could say such a thing about him.]

[But after the events that happened in the gallery, that's now a brutal truth. He was responsible for a death. Not a death of an actual person, but still, a death nevertheless.]

[He had tried to forget about it, trying to convince himself that what he had did was necessary- after all, hadn't Mary wanted to kill him and Ib, or, at the very least, hurt them to the point where they could never escape? It was self-defense, that's all. But the image of her burning up like a piece of paper can never quite leave his mind. And then that book they found in her room...."How to Make Friends"...she was just a kid, a painting child who didn't know how the human world went around things.]

[She was just lonely....but then the image of that palette knife in her hand, aimed at his chest and quite ready to taste blood, returns to his mind.]

[He feels utterly conflicted about the whole thing. Which is why he finally clears his throat and asks a question that has been sitting in his head for quite a while:]

...

If you had to destroy someone because they tried to kill you and the people you care about, would...would that make you a bad person?

Comments

[not_mafia]

Usually... there's another way. You can defeat your enemies without destroying them.

[But that's not always the case. Not one hundred percent of the time.]

... if you've tried everything, if you really made an effort to protect your friends without killing your opposition, and you're sure that's the only thing that will work-- then, no, you're not.

[A brief pause, and then:]

As long as you don't forget them.

[thehangedrose]

[He's silent for a while.]

I mean, I understand that. I never wanted to destroy that person in the first place, just keep away...but then I just reacted without thinking. Because...I was afraid that I'd be dead.

I don't know what I could've done besides that. If I had waited, I might have put my friend at risk. So...it was a spur of the moment thing, it really was.

[And he sighs.] Trust me, I don't forget people easily. Not at all...

[not_mafia]

[Quietly:]

A life should not be taken without consideration.

[A pause.]

.. just make sure that next time-- if there is a next time [which there probably will be]-- you're prepared to make the decision.

[thehangedrose]

Oh, goodness no, I really hope that there won't be a next time! [He shudders just to think of it.]

It...it just was a bizarre situation which I would never be in normally, and...I'm not completely sure I made the right decision. I reacted too hastily...

[not_mafia]

[You can hope all you want... but that's not going to prevent it from happening.]

It doesn't sound like you think you made the right decision.

[A soft sigh. He knows this is rough.] But... you can't make the right decision every time. Making a mistake... doesn't make you a bad person, as long as you learn from it.

[thehangedrose]

Because it wasn't! Destroying someone is wrong, even if they weren't human...I mean at the time I didn't think about it. I was glad, even.

[And he falls silent for a moment, remembering that "How to Make Friends" book laying so innocently by his feet.]

I understand that, I guess...but so many people are telling me it was the right thing to do, and now I don't know what I should be learning from this at all.

[not_mafia]

It doesn't matter what people say... you already know the answer.

... you're going to have to think about it on your own. I don't think the value of life, and what it means to take it [even regarding the circumstances] can be taught.

[thehangedrose]

Maybe I don't.

[He nods, even though no one can see.] No, it definitely can't...but maybe you can learn from others about how they would've acted. And then change yourself, maybe...

[not_mafia]

No. You do. [He had such a strong reaction, Tsuna was convinced it was sincere.]

What others do isn't always right. [...] Some people may tell you what they would do, but it's impossible to know what any one person would do until they're in that situation.

[thehangedrose]

I do...? [C'mon, Garry, get yourself out of denial.]

That is correct, I guess. I mean, it's not like I planned for it ahead of time. I just did it. There's a different sort of reaction that goes into these things...

[not_mafia]

[you do because the shonen says you do DEAL WITH IT IN THERAPY GARRY!!!!!!!!!]

Mm, that's right. Everything changes when you're actually in the situation.

[thehangedrose]

[WHO WILL HE GET THERAPY FROM, IT'S NOT LIKE THEY HAVE THERAPISTS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE SURVIVED HORROR SCENARIOS IN CREEPY ART GALLERIES, DUDE.]

Have you had any situations like that? Where you believed you'd act one way but you acted completely different?

[not_mafia]

[YES THEY DO THEY'RE CALLED DRUGS]

... Yeah, I have, actually.

[thehangedrose]

[YOU THINK DRUGS WOULD MAKE THIS SITUATION BETTER? HAHAHAHAHAHA oh god no.]

What was that like?

[not_mafia]

[What was it... like? What an odd question. He hadn't really reflected much on his past experiences until now. They simply happened, and then he never looked back, really.]

... a bit scary. But, I did what I had to do to protect myself, and my friends.