023 || dictated;

[workaphilic]

[ Anyone Looking for Accommodations in the City Royale ]

[There's an address written in.]

Rent's paid through next month. Take it, I don't care. Landlord will be thrilled, I'm sure.

If there's more than one of you, settle it yourselves.

----

Quite the entertainer, our Paradisa. Parties and festivals and carnivals and balls. Don't know how you're not all sick of them, they happen frequently enough.

[He doesn't sound that bothered, though. In fact, there's a distinct upward swing to his tone. Someone's in a good mood for the first time in a long, long while.

There's a pause, and his voice starts to wander like he's splitting his attention.]

Still, can't complain. This one has the potential to be decently interesting. Ah, excellent.

[There's faint hissing in the background, from what sounds to be at least two or three of the fairies.]

Oh, be quiet. That's hardly the worst I could have done.

Comments

[onlyanapple]

[Sherlock NO]

...No we weren't.

[workaphilic]

Weren't we? Weaknesses and all that. I assumed.

[onlyanapple]

That's a different matter entirely.

[workaphilic]

How's that?

[onlyanapple]

Because of reasons. [Yep. Reasons]

[workaphilic]

Oh, I see.

There are other reasons you're terrible at what you do, then.

[onlyanapple]

And I'll bet you're just dying to tell me what those reasons are.

[workaphilic]

I could. It's a long list, have you got the time?

[onlyanapple]

[Sherlock, he really wishes he could just punt you off the roof]

Yeah, whatever, fine. Knock yourself out.

[workaphilic]

[Wow, rude. Say that out loud and John might punt you in the face.]

Well, there's the over-fondness of humanity, obviously. You prefer them to whatever other denizens of Hell you interact with. Problematic when you're trying to damn them, I imagine, but you're not very good at that anyway.

Oh, you know how to annoy people. Pick at them until they snap and they're sour for the rest of the day, taking it out on everyone around them. It's good in theory, but you don't try very hard. Little internet games and school pranks.

A wide net that only meets the minimum doesn't do much for condemning souls. You could be better, but you're not.

Wonder what that means?

[This is fun. Sidestepping his loss is easier when the conclusion's already there.]

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley is silent, he almost considers not replying at all. Of course, Sherlock is right. It's all very much true, he hasn't had any interest in BEING a demon since long before he was pulled into Paradisa.

Still, he hates it being shoved in his face so obviously]

Yeah. I wonder.

[workaphilic]

[The smugness in his tone is insurmountable.]

Far be it from me to tell you how to do your job, though, hm?

[onlyanapple]

Exactly. You have no idea, really. It's kind of sad. How little of an idea you have.

[workaphilic]

Oh, I think I have plenty of an idea.

But if you'd like to continue being sub par, that's your prerogative.

[onlyanapple]

[Why does he make it a point not to murder humans? Why?

Oh right. Because he's a crap demon]

Oh, go bother someone who cares. I'm bored of you now.

[workaphilic]

Of course you are.

[He might as well be cackling.]

[onlyanapple]

[SILENCE.

He hates you so much]