In the year 232 AD Porphyry was born

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley wasn't surprised by waking up from a long sleep. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he'd done it, and it wouldn't be the last. Unlike the vast majority of castle residents, he'd had a dreamless sleep, one of the pros of being a demon. They didn't have a true imagination. Not enough to conjure up a dream or a nightmare, anyway.

Still, he'd checked the journal to find...nothing. For days, except a few worried comments from people in the town. So this was a castle thing then. Right. He'd probably better check that people aren't dead or something. That would have been unfortunate. There were people he liked here.

And so the demon decided to go check if people were alive or not. Not that he cared. He was just curious. Yeah. Unfortunately for Crowley, he'd decided to check up on Faye, who's nameplate was most decidedly not there any more and who's room was very empty. Fuck. It had happened again]

For anyone who gives a damn, Faye Valentine has gone home.

[He closed his journal and headed back to his room, preparing for his usual plan of drinking until he could pretend he didn't care about anything any more. Drink away the hurt and the bubbling anger at this stupid damn castle that just ruined everyone's lives. ...Except his booze cabinet was empty. This was unusual, but hey he knew a lot of assholes who stole things, so he made the extra trip to the Nines...only to find the booze there gone too. When he speaks into the journal now, he's angry. Very angry]

Right, so where the fuck has all the alcohol gone? Because if someone thinks this is funny, I'm not laughing. You can probably tell from my tone that I'm not laughing. But if you can't, let me clue you in. This is the tone of voice used when someone or something is going to be set on fucking fire if there isn't a reasonable explanation for this.

Comments

[scinlae]

[ You can almost hear the eye rolling in her voice. ]

Crowley.

[onlyanapple]

[Sorry, Morgana. He's on FULL ON rant mode now]

I mean, come on. Why would the castle just make it all vanish? What's the point in that? It's not doing anyone any harm, in fact, it does a lot of good when you think about it.

[The alcoholic demon wants his booze and he wants it NOW]

[scinlae]

─If you would stop ranting for a moment. [ Oh my god seriously, shut up, she's trying to do something nice here. ]

[onlyanapple]

And another thing-

[Oh]

Morgana. Hi.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Hm, to poke or not to poke?]

You know, I'm not an expert, but it sounds like you have a drinking problem.

[onlyanapple]

[Dryly]

No kidding. Those are excellent powers of deduction you have there, kid.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

Hey, I try.

I take it no AA here then?

[i_got_this]

Thisis fucking BULLSHIT. [She gets you, Crowley. If ever she needed a drink, it was now.]

[onlyanapple]

[South! He knew you;d understand] All yours is gone too?

[i_got_this]

Yeah, everything, even the good stuff I'd put out of the way! [Panic in her tone like the world is ending. It's a downright travesty.]

[save_the_souls]

Can't...you wish for some Crowley?

[onlyanapple]

That's besides the point! It's the principle of the thing. It can't just...just go around making everyone go to sleep, then sending people away and then taking away a coping mechanism.

[save_the_souls]

I see...I suppose you have a point.

[a pause]

There might be some leftover alcohol at my house.

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

[That first message makes Dairine frown lightly. Aww, sounds like Crowley lost someone again. Crummy castle... She might not have known Faye personally, but Dairine feels for him. Which is why she'll be nice and not bring up any possible Emotions. Let the demon deal with it his own way.

What she doesn't expect is for him to come storming back as though someone had trashed his car (again).]

The alcohol is gone? All of it?

forever!

[onlyanapple]

[You are sometimes a tolerable person, Dair, and sometimes he doesn't want to punt you. Today is one of those days]

Every last drop.

[wizard_redfive]

[Yeah, don't mention it. No seriously, don't. It might ruin her wizard cred.]

Geez... Someone was ambitious. [And probably dead drunk right now, given the number of alcoholics in the castle.]

this is a placeholder until plot things get sorted c:

[20thcentury]

It was these little rat things, I think. They took everything to the Dead Zone.

On the plus side, the pubs in town are still well stocked.

aww yis

[onlyanapple]

...Rat things? What rat things? [Damnit this is why he hates rodents]

So I hear. Maybe it really is time for a move.

[20thcentury]

No idea. There were a few of them raiding the castle while you lot were passed out in there.

[assassino]

[Ezio sounds deadpan, but also a little snarky.]

Strange, I woke up with an empty bed and without alcohol, as well.

[onlyanapple]

[Ezio he will punch you. Maybe. Probably]

Oh goodie this means we have to be best friends now.

[assassino]

We would make a fearsome pair, at least.

[payback]

... I'm sorry, Crowley.

[onlyanapple]

[He gives a sigh] Yeah. So am I. I should have known it'd happen. It always does.

[payback]

Yeah, well... it's never right.